
Holed Up
Holed Up is the nostalgia rewind for the millennial brain (and beyond). Each week Chase, Kyle, and Andrew are holed up together with the movies from their youth. How do they look under the lenses of fully formed brains? Find out each week as the gang rewatches movies from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s to see if nostalgia is truly a dangerous game to play.
Holed Up
Demolition Man
The gang goes back in time to head to the future to look at the non existent plot points of 1993s Demolition Man.
A police officer is brought out of suspended animation in prison to pursue an old ultra-violent nemesis who is loose in a non-violent future society.
Hello everybody, and welcome to Hold up the show where we dive deep inside your childhood nostalgia. Pull the movies from your past out to see if they hold up. It's Blockbuster Summer, Andrew. To my left. It's Blockbuster Summer, Kyle, on the, what satellite phone are we using today? What sponsorship? , It's not a satellite phone.
It is today. Yeah, , it's a direct connection from God. Oh, it's the God phone. He supersedes satellite technology. Excuse me. Wow. It does my mistake. Sorry. Presumptuous of you to assume God's a male. You know, that's just the, , the sexist in me. So , I've been conditioned by society, so don't blame me too much.
We really have been, haven't you? Yeah. Yeah. So have you and so is Chase, whether he wants to admit it or not. So we're all conditioned. No, I'm a completely unique individual with my own. Personalized view of what the world is, and it's very nuanced. Oh, wow. That's really cool for you. How awesome. I, envy you so much.
I I don't envy either one of you. , But Kyle is via the God phone, I guess today, so Jared's phone. Yeah. Did Well, that goes back to a prior episode, but, , Kyle, before we get started today, I want you to tell me how you're feeling in action. Movie terms. Gimme an action movie term that you're talking about.
Oh, a futuristic action movie. Futuristic action movie. Like, are we going for like genre and like how it feels or? Yes. , Today's like a really bleak, utopian future where there is no art and there is no pleasure and , it's only working to. , , Use other humans as fuel. , And the only way you can survive is by liquefying your neighbors into some kind of, , thought jelly that makes you really happy in your brain head.
And, , there's no vocabulary anymore. Everything's very, , gray and there's no music. , But they have Taco Bell, so I've seen this movie. It's Happy Feet too, right? He that's actually, this is the precursor. This is Happy Willie. Oh, I heard that movie was gonna be really good. It was very good. Um, the reason we talk about a dystopian society is we watched Demolition Man, whoa.
Sick. This sick bro. Yeah. Uhhuh. We don't have Burger King to talk about this week, do we? We got Taco Bell. Some point. We do have Taco Bell. We, it is arguably better than Burger King. So actually, sure. They did not sponsor this one, actually, believe it or not. Um, when we get into it, I have a fun fact about that.
Ooh. Because I thought the same thing. Give me all the fun facts, daddy. I want 'em, um, we are always gonna be talking about fast food on hold up. So, because we're fat people from the South. Right. That and we are Americans. Yep. Americans. But we watch from the Heartland, but we watched Demolition man.
Andrew, what knowledge of Demolition Man do you have or had you had in your childhood? Absolutely none. Exactly. None whatsoever. , So when I saw this and I was kind of surprised at how many like stars and like big names and faces are in it, lot big. There's huge. , You got obviously Stallone, you got Snipes, you got Sandra Bullock, you got um, Benjamin Brat, you've got, , Bob Gunton, you've got, , Cobb, what's his name?
You have, . Oh, , the guy who played Coto was like a extremely famous, like British, like stage actor. Like one of the best ever, , Dennis Leary. Like, there's so many big names of this one. It was a Who's who of who. Yeah. Who is, yeah. Kind of thing. We'll skip you since you haven't seen it, but Kyle, I want you to start us off, what do you remember about this movie when you were a kid?
It was on USA or like TNTA couple times. And I watched it on a weekend and like bits and pieces of it. And, , even back then, it was like, I was like, this isn't really a fun movie. It's kind of like dumb. And it doesn't really, , doesn't really, it's,, I felt like it was supposed to be like a movie that's supposed to make you think about something, and it definitely doesn't make you do that.
, The dialogue, like, and there was so much cursing in it that like they, they used to, they would dub over. , The person speaking. So if they said shit, they'd say, shoot or like say son of a, so it's sort of a something I don't remember. Or, , like you could just clearly tell if they were cursing, but they were saying like, polite words instead.
And that was most of that movie because half of the time they're cursing. , And the action sequences were me and yeah, it just didn't really make, it just didn't really make any sense. Even back then when I was like 10 or 11 watching this movie, it'd be 12. Yeah, I was gonna say, I do remember this being , the TNT special every Saturday night at like 9 30, 10 30.
I think even like later than that, like now, it's like if you're watching TNT late on a Saturday night. It's like the Harry Potter movies or something. I saw, , Shawshank Redemption was on. I don't watch TNT very often, but like three weeks ago scrolling through Shawshank was on repetitively for like 10 hours straight.
Yeah. , This was one of those movies that was on almost every weekend. And honestly, some of those TNT or USA movies that come on at that time, that hits pretty good. Like, I'll be honest, sometimes it's, it's drunk movies. Yeah. Yeah. You're, you're pretty much just at the end of your night or you're just with your family and you want some background noise on drunk Yeah.
Casually paying attention, but like, not really casually sipping from the flask. Oh, yeah. Um, yeah, this was one that, , my mom loved, so , she watched it all the time, but I really, yeah, and I only saw it as the edited version on TNT or TBS or whatever they were showing it on. So , I think this is the first time I ever saw it in its full form.
Which is, you know, it's something. , But , I loved it as a kid 'cause I just, you know, it was an action set piece after action set piece. A cool, futuristic, , but not too far in the future kind of movie. So I, as a kid, I was enamored by it. They also had toys for this movie. Kyle, do you remember having toys? I don't remember having them. I remember seeing them in like a Kmart or something and like, it was Sylvester Stallone with a stupid beret and like some dumb gun and like that weird shit at the end of the movie.
That alter like super, super basic sci-fi kinda shit. That didn't really make any sense. Yeah. , I remember that stuff being there, but like, I don't remember the actual, like having one. Yeah,, so this movie came out, what, 93? 93? So I would've been two years old, so I don't, I missed the toy boat on this, and I obviously didn't see it in theaters or anything, so I was definitely the kid that caught it in the early two thousands, late nineties, when it was just circulating on tv.
And that's about the only knowledge I have. But , I do remember my mom watching it almost every time it came on. And that was a big thing in our household, especially like on a Saturday night right before we went to bed, and then mm-hmm. The edited version, but the edited version to Kyle's point, like those movies that they edited for tv.
Or some of the funniest things that you could ever watch just because of the creativity they get with like, putting those words and bleeps in. Honestly, , it pissed me off watching it. Like, it's funny at first, but then when you go want to get the full experience, you feel fudge you man, you feel, you feel, you feel blue balls.
Yeah. You know? Yeah. And, and it got better over time because then they stopped like trying to fill in the words and they just like censored it or bleeped it out altogether. , When they were trying to like, figure out the, like, the appropriate words to put in there, it just, it, you would be watching something like Alien and they would hit you with something and it would just take you right outta the moment.
Yep. Some of the worst editing things. , Before we move on though, we do have to talk a little bit about, , Sylvester Stallone and his impact to action movies. This is his first time on our show. Good old Sly. , He was still . Pretty high and mighty in the action genre at this point, right?
I think he was doing cliffhanger at the same time that he was filming this movie. 'cause they release like very close together. , And cliffhanger would go on to be a massive success for him. , And action movies at this time, were kind of taking a turn a little bit. We were kind of coming off the eighties.
This very much, Kyle, if you agree with me, is an eighties action movie. , Yeah. For better, for better or for worse. Yeah. It's like very tongue in cheek, very like off the wall and a lot of the, but, but eighties, eighties action movies, even if there were sci-fi made more sense than this one did. And that it took very much the action aspect and like the casting and the cinematography and some of like the, the dialogue from the eighties and then just put it into like nineties story writing and it was.
It is kind of annoying, honestly, that they don't really match mesh very well. But it is definitely very much an eighties action movie. I would agree. Yeah. And it kind of carried over from the eighties. It feels like it exists in a time it shouldn't exist. It's like trying to like oil and water to your point a little bit.
, Especially with like, you know, they're trying to add that nineties flare to an eighties genre and it just, you know, some, some of it just kind of felt like a little bit off. , But the movies like this were not being made as frequently in the nineties. , we saw it, hit a crescendo with Sylvester Stallone and, , Schwarzenegger in the eighties.
And even Steven Egal kind of came in in the nineties fucking Steven Segal, which believe it or not, they wanted Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Vanda in this movie. And they both turned it down because they both wanted to play the hero. Well, that's probably for the best. Yeah. You know, can you imagine how bad this would've been with , Steven Segal and John Claude Vanda?
God, that would've been like Batman and Robin levels bad. That gives you hemorrhoids to think about. Yeah, that makes my head want to just dissolve. Preparation. H would've sponsored this movie instead of Taco Bell,
, But they were the big stars at the time. And the, in the action movies were kind of like starting to slow down a little bit. Like in the eighties, you had, everything was being made into action. Like we, we reviewed one with Action Jackson, which, you know, we have to do a little shout out to George.
Right. Yeah. . That's appropriate. Yeah. It's warranted. , This movie is a George. Howard Adams recommendation. , You can go back and listen to our episode we did with him on Action. Jackson. Great movie. Um, he's in Superman. He can, we can finally tell everybody he's in Superman.
The new Superman that's dropping today. Yeah. , Apparently, , reviews are pretty solid. Yeah. , Early reviews. Yeah. , Go out tonight. Catch it. , see George on the big screen. We are very proud of him. So George, if you're out there, thanks for the recommendation.
But moving on, , Andrew, can you tell us how well this action maybe did?
, I can, but I want you all to guess. All right, Kyle, you go first as you always do. Kyle, go first. So give me, give me your domestic guess. Um, collectively. Do you wanna start with the budget? Yeah, I'll give you the budget. There's not an exact number. It's anywhere from 45 to 77 million. Okay. Okay. That's literally, , it's all over the place.
That's an interesting budget. Yep. , With all the star power too. That's probably majority of where that budget went. Yeah. It's probably on the higher end is my guess, too. Also the special effects and just everything and explosions and all that. Set pieces. Set pieces and whatnot. So , we'll say like 70 million, , I think that's a fair compromise.
But domestic, , there's domestic and then there's worldwide or international. So give me, gimme your guesses on domestic. , I'm gonna say for domestic, probably in the, somewhere in the ballpark of, for the opening weekend or all together? All together. All together. I am gonna say 50 million. Okay.
Chase, , give me your best guesstimate here. Still opening. Yeah, we're doing opening domestic. Opening domestic, , not opening domestic gross with the star power this movie has in it. And action. Movies were still hot at the time. Cliffhanger was coming out. I think shortly before that maybe, was it before or after?
I can't remember, but I think they were within two months of each other. I'm gonna say this was on the higher end, I think it made its budget back at 70 million. So, , domestic, it was only about 58 million altogether, but internationally accrued like 101 million. So altogether it was like almost like 168 on, on just opening weekend?
No, no, no. All together. All together. The opening weekend domestic was like almost 15 million. It did pretty well for the time. Yeah. Yeah. 93, but , roughly 160 million altogether. It doubled. Its, yeah. It, it was a success. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, and I will say this, it is a cult favorite.
Yeah. A lot of people think this is one of the better Stallone movies out there. There's a lot of people on Reddit who like jerk off to this movie. Yeah. I, it's got a, it's got a crowd. It's got a lot of following to it. Yeah. , But , we talked about Stallone. , Do we wanna talk about Wesley Snipes in the nineties?
, Fucking love Leslie Snipes. It's How can you not? He's great in this movie. There's no, you can't take that away from him. He's funny. Yeah. I don't really know what, what his character's motive is. I don't think he necessarily has one. He's a maniacal idiot. He's just a, he's like the Joker. , Yeah. Good old Wesley Snipes.
Sad. He had to go away to jail for, , extended period of time. But was this before Major League? , I think so. , Let's do a double check on that one. I was trying to think about how. Big a star. He was, major League was 89. Excuse me. So, wow. So , this was after, this was four years after. Yeah. Okay.
But I mean, he was a big name, I feel. Yeah. 'cause , his resume goes, goes way back. He was kind of the young Stallone at the time. Yeah. I think he was the , next big action star that was like breaking onto the scene. But he had so much more capability than just Bing. Action. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Blade white man, , can't jump was a year before this. So like he, he was doing some shit. Yeah. Like he's good with comedy. Like he's a great comedic actor as you saw in this movie. Yeah. Like he, he can do it all, man. Yeah. I mean, hi. His character, like you said, was all over the place, but I think he played the character how it was written.
Yes. As well as he could. Yep. And then we had, , another up and coming star in this movie, Sandra Bullock. Good old Sandra America's sweetheart. Right? I know, right? Like there's, you just can't say anything bad about her, but she always plays these doof characters. She played such a dumb ass in this one.
Yeah. It pissed me off. 'cause I think, I do think she's talented. She's done some again, she played the character well. Yeah, it was just written poorly. It was written so poorly, but I think she gave it her all here. Yeah, she did. , And then, and this was after speed. Speed. Kinda kicked off her career. Yeah.
And speed, I think was 91. Yeah. , And then, so I think she's not far into her career at this point, but still like a household name. , Bob Gunton, who was the warden in Shawshank, like a year later. Yeah. He was, you know, colonel, chief Colonel or whatever. Um, chief Dipshit, bill Cobbs was the older gentleman.
, The guy that Spartan recognizes when he comes back from the cryo and he's been in tons of stuff dating back to like the fifties Benjamin Brat. He's, , Senator or, uh, in most recent, or , he's another stuff too that's not, that's not just his claim to fame. Mis congeniality, stupid congeniality does.
Yes. He was the opposite. Stupid swine. Yes. He was opposite of Sandra in, uh, in that one. And we're forgetting another one. Oh, Dennis Leary. How could you not forget God? Huh. But anyways, , that's demolition man, right there. That's your whole cast. Um I thought everybody did pretty well in this movie to, you know, set a bar here.
, Acting wise, I don't think it was poorly acted. I don't know how Kyle, you feel about that, but We'll, we'll talk about it. Possibly. I have, I have opinions. I think it was poorly written, but not necessarily poorly acting. Well, let's, let's, let's, let's, why don't we dive into the fucking play by play. Okay.
Why don't we get into this shit? Yeah. , All, let's do it Kyle. Where does this movie start? We start in a very unrealistic scene. We're flying over LA. And there's just gunshots. Like it's that active war zone. Um, well, I mean, that's not too far off. It, it looks, I'm, it looks like LA of LA was Baghdad 2003.
That's pretty, pretty far off. All, all the people on the right love to give. Oh, of course. La Chicago, New York, of course, the worst like rap ever. But like, and it's, it's bad, but it's not that bad. If you compare it to other places in the world. It's not that bad. Get a fucking ring. You have your, you have your pockets, but not the entire fucking metropolitan on fire.
I mean, come on. And to be fair, we were three years in the future, so they were just projecting LA 96 baby. That was a tough year. Tough year for everyone. I'm gonna get into this more maybe at some point. But th this movie was very much a, what one side thinks of the other.
And, , it just, it's just so played out like this trope of like, , we, , the. Civilization ended and it ended in LA or New York. And because it's the cesspool of May America, it's just the worst. , Food's great though. So , they're flying in on a chopper, on a Chinook, and it is the quietest helicopter in the world.
You can hear their conversations pretty and clearly speak freely at each other, and it's so, so annoying. And they just, they, he starts going back and forth , with the helicopter pilot who will, , I guess come back in later. , He very much, I doesn't, isn't he the, isn't he, doesn't he come back up later?
Isn't he another, isn't he a character later on? I can't remember. I forgot about him. , So if did, then I missed He was a terrible character then at that point. Yeah. He was unrecognized, I think he was the black guy , and he was like, you were a great fly. Oh, it's a, yeah, it was a difference catch. It was him and his younger self.
, Yeah. Uh, lamb, I think Sergeant Lamb or whatever. Yeah. Anyways, bill Cobbs was the older version of him, but yes, go on. Anyways, he, it's just very, , it is just so dumb. I'm, it's just so dumb. They fly into this fucking airport and apparently it's been like annexed by a criminal, , sign in , who has the power?
The firepower of, a small military, maybe a, yeah. Access and like, and whatever. I, it, it is just fucking comical stuff. The only people that could take over LA like that would be a foreign adversary, honestly. , Maybe. Yeah. And like without nuking it. Yeah. Like, and he has a bus full of hostages that's 30 plus hostages, like up to 40.
And we never see, we don't even understand how he fucking held them hostage. No. And drove them to, you know, this location and did what he did either way. And it's the only building standing. Everything else is like deteriorated rubble or ash. Yeah. Like a bomb went off. So it's a, it is just like an active war zone.
, And in this helicopter Stallone's character, , John Spartan. John Spartan, great name, he's getting ready. He's got his fucking beret on his little black beret, you know, puts it on, kind of, gives, gives it the little, does Kyle, does he have an Airborne logo on this beret? Like, it doesn't kind of make sense.
You wouldn't, I didn't catch it. It it, even if it was, it wouldn't make any sense. I you don't know what entity he represents or whatever. , It's just so lazy. They think And he, go ahead. He, well, he jumps out of the helicopter. We get onto the ground and he just has a pistol in his hand. A little fucking sissy pistol, nine millimeter.
And there's people with automatic weapons around him, and he's just jumping, twirling, , shooting, running, explosion, gets inside of this fucking warehouse at airport place where the criminal Simon is. And he, he kills like, like seven goons, like seven of like Simon's GOs. Yeah. Just like sneaks up on him.
I mean, his, his pistol never runs outta ammo. It's just fucking whatever. But, , they, they get, he, they meet, they finally greet each other and we see our villain. And it's, it's Wesley Snipes. And he does a couple lines of cocaine before he gets into the, the action naturally, you know, actually has one does yeah.
Has one, does has, uh, Wesley snip like career, but , before John Spartan gets up there, you see Wesley snips pierce, barrel, a metal barrel, multiple barrels, multiple, and with a knife. And they start leaking a liquid. Come to find out that that liquid is gasoline, because when he is confronting him, he's like, you better not shoot that.
, Otherwise you'll go, you'll, it's, you'll go up in flames. Is it Colton here or just me? How maniacal, how forward thinking. What a super genius. So , he is trying to figure out what the hostage ares like. They're all dead. Don't worry about it. They're all dead. You can take me away. Whatever.
They're all dead. So he like tries to light 'em on fire. And here's my thing. If you were really the real demolition man, you would just shoot , the, , gas yourself and kill both of you. And you would go down like as the hero that you are just to take out this, huge criminal threat that's apparently taking over cities that kills the plot chase.
So, no, well, we short movie Silly little bitch daddy. Well, wouldn't it can't happen. Logic is, is going to be defied so well we're defying logic. What happens next, Kyle? He tries to light him on fire. They go through this whole. Fucking dumb little fight scene. He gets captured and then they walk him outside and by they, I mean Sylvester Stallone, but then he confesses that he let those ho the hostages were there the whole time.
He let them die because the building, the building explodes while they're still in it. Yeah, they should have died when they were walking out of it. But , Andrew, that would defy logic there. And the movie would be over. You're right. It's a plot killer, so it can't, that can't, , can't happen.
Yeah. They calmly get out of the building as it's like toppling over on top of 'em. And I mean like tons and tons of like fiery, explosive, billowing flames, but you know, they come out unscathed and yes, as Kyle was saying, Simon now says to the police, ah, you just killed all the hostages. I told him on the inside, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But he didn't want to hear me. He just wanted to get me out and put me in custody. He fucking sacrificed all those hostages. And of course, like. All of like the commanding officers around, like took a maniacal, criminals like word to heart. And they're like, how could you, how could you, Spartan? Yeah. And then they, and he was like, I didn't see anything on the thermal.
Yeah. , There were no signs of body heat on my thermal scanner, yada, yada yada. Which, which I wanna make mention to at this point, while there're arguing stuff, is shit still exploding in the background? Yeah. And I'm just like, there's more explosions in this opening scene than there are a Kentucky fried chicken bathroom on a Saturday night.
There is just absolute explosion after explosion, after explosion, after explosion. That was vivid chase. Thank you. We've all been there. Um, yeah. And , while they're going through , this discussion about, you know, Spartan knowing about the hostages and Phoenix telling him that, , Spartan's pleading his case, like, that's not, not true.
That's not true. And then some guy, some like pencil pusher, cop, like, comes outta nowhere. He is like, there's bodies everywhere. They're, they're falling from the sky. There's parts falling. Oh my God. And then, doesn't he say the exact number of bodies, like they were looking at 30 hostages. There must be 30, 30 hostages over there.
Yeah. And then all of like, the commanding officers, once again, they're like, he really did it this time, Spartan, , how could you breach your own power to come down here? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, just, you know, why don't you let it play out in court? There's gonna be no court that would convict him quickly.
There is no court date. But they, we get sent to some like lab, some like sterile lab. , My God. To Sylvester Stallone looked ripped though. Is he standing there like shirtless in this lab? Beautiful man. , Even see his torn pec. Yeah, you can, yeah, it's very true. , And he's standing there and they're basically already convicting him.
No, not even in front of a judge telling him me. He's gonna be cryogenically frozen and rehabilitated while he's frozen For how many years? 70 years? Yeah. 70. That's, and that's just when he gets parole. And this is 96 is when he is going under, so yeah. This is the dumbest legislative action program that's ever been created.
The amount of money that it would spend to like to do that versus help people who are. Fucking like critically Ill like, until they find a fucking cure, let's use it on criminals and let's rehabilitate them in the process 70 years from now into a world they won't know and that won't be shocking at all.
, And we'll just waste trillions of dollars on this, which is probably what it would take. There is no technology that exists that is like that. Well now Kyle, this was all a plot in the Reagan administration. How do you think he got elected? This was his whole thing. He was gonna freeze all these criminals and then they were gonna come back as sunshine and rainbows.
They're all gonna come back as Judy Garland. Is Walt Disney frozen somewhere? Yeah. Yes. And Ted Williams. Yeah. Yep. His head. Anyway. Yep. Good stuff. Love him. So then, he's getting frozen and , we see the, like the montage, the credits go back. Very, very interesting method they used for their cryo chambers. Ba basically drown him first and then, and then they flash freeze him like fish sticks and he's.
He's naked and he is hot and he's, and he looks good and he, he's gonna, he would've, he looked better than Steven Segal would've, no matter what shape Steven was in at that time. So, yeah, I would say round would be the shape that he would be in. He's probably in an okay shape, but it, yeah, it's like a, it's like a tub.
They put him in like a cylindrical tub that's not too deep, , and not very wide. So he's kind of like scrunched up while they pour this liquid in. It was just odd. Like, I dunno, cryo chambers, you saw that with like Alien and other movies prior. You're laying in like a bed that fills up and you kinda zip yourself in.
This was just so, they were trying to be different. They were trying to be different. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't love it. It doesn't make sense. I couldn't tell if they were trying to drown him and they did and they just suspended him in that state, which would be like, yeah. 'cause when, when you suspend him right in that like he's got water in his lungs, so does the water stay in his lungs?
Like what? No, , I know there is, there was one when they were researching this, like there is like a way that you do it where you are essentially breathing a liquid because it's so oxygen rich. , But like you would, it would be very hard to like get the person to keep on breathing it.
, You would have to like have them hooked up to a machine or something. And at that time, like, why wouldn't you just put them in a medically induced coma? I don't remember the specifics of it, but it's like, it's something along those lines where it's like a breathable liquid is like the way, the only way that realistically they found they could actually do that because freezing wouldn't really work without killing like cells or, so, I don't know.
But either way, I mean, this was not that they, they're just putting him in like essentially just some kind of. Electric ice machine and he just slowly gets frozen in water. , It's like one of those island oass machines your dad used to make pina coladas with. That's, that's basically what he is.
And, now, we're getting introduced to now to Sandra Bullock. Yeah. It's her, her introduction to this movie is basically her talking to the warden on a video call inside of a Tesla model three. Yeah, I was gonna say it's , definitely a Tesla. , Which is weird 'cause those cars really did look like Teslas.
They did. , That was one thing that I was like, I think the writer and director need to sue, , Elon Musk. Elon Musk for this like, 'cause obviously he had inspiration. But she's talking to the warden and the warden's basically talking about the parole hearings that he's got for the day. He's gonna unthaw people
, but they're giving context into this world that we're in now. What is it? 20 39, 20 32, 20 32. And we're in a different city and we're in, , it's major city. It's, it's not LAPD. It's SAPD, which stands for what Anyone want to tell me Lead the way. San Angeles, which is a combination of merger of Los Angeles, San Diego, and San, San Diego and Santa Barbara.
Yeah. Massive. Which massive city. Now, you know, it's, it is. Conceivable that in 20 years that all three of those metropolitans, I mean Santa Barbara is not far from Los Angeles and San Diego is only like an hour two south , of Los Angeles. So like it, they could merge together. You know, there, there's also a fact in there that they throw that there's a, the big earthquake of 2010 mm-hmm.
That kind of merged the mass together. , . Was there a mass of earthquake in 2010? In this dissect that. Yeah, they will. I, I don't know. I don't think possibly. I don't think so. But, but they, they do. There's one in, there's one in 2011, wasn't there?
Probably. There's usually there's one like every year. Yeah. It's not hard to predict, but he not, but , they called it the big one. They said, oh, that got swept away in the big one. In fact, you know, later they tell, we will go ahead and say it now. , John's wife died in the big earthquake, is how , they tell him, yeah, we're not there yet.
But you're ruining we forget. You're spoiling things. So, so we're, we're learning that this society is basically crime free. , Everyone is kind of, how would you describe the people in this city? , Kyle, they are like bred into a society that is free absent of any kind of violence, malice, free will , or any kind of ill will independent thought.
Yeah. , There's no individualism. Like, there's no express expressionism, there's no way to, there's a free, like, not, or free speech. They don't have access to things like their speech is actually police, they get fined if they curse, because that's something that could lead to violence. It's a fascist and they're very anti-violence.
Utopia. Yeah. Essentially. But like, yeah. Utopia's a good way to put it. But like, , it's very controlled and it's silly. They kind, they don't have anything that's like, it's a watered down society. It's what Walt Disney had v uh, thought of when he pictured Epcot is basically it. Or Tomorrow Land, whatever.
Sure. Tomorrow. Tomorrow land. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever he was calling it like, 'cause that's what he wanted was to police, like what you can do in your own town. , So we're seeing it. , These people are just. They're all like smiley, happy go-lucky. And what's their phrase in the city? I don't be Well. Oh yeah. Be well, be Well, that's like , their greetings.
But Huxley, which is Sandra Bull's character, she wants some action, right, Andrew? And she, Hey, she is a, uh, SAPD police officer. Don't forget it. Yeah. She is a, she's a female police officer in this new regime, in this new era. Yeah. , She fantasizes about the 20th century and culture before, before the big one, before the big change of everything, , you know, before the utopian ism settled in.
Right. So , she, she longs for action. She longs for , a change, something , to shake up the, the doldrums of now they're, you know, and, and you've got some people that are older that, that remember what everything was like. Yeah. And the cryogenically frozen people are being so like. I guess therapy's taken over.
So everyone's just brainwashed at this point. Yeah. But we do see, as she's driving through, we do see like a little camera come up out of the ground and look around and spray some graffiti on the wall. Great. Great special effects there. Great special effects. Great use of technology as well. Mighta add?
Yeah, like it should just, she that like a fucking pipe bomb. Like fucking manipulate one of the cars to make it like a terrorist mobile. Like, you, you could do a lot of shit with that, but let's, let's, uh, let's fucking spray paint. What did they even spray Paint on? There's something stupid.
Ridiculous and dumb. Something like freedom or something. I don't it because it's, it was, it was dumber than that. That's, that's like, hold on. Classic. Find it Andrew. Find it. Yeah. Pissed me off. Really stupid. , It pissed me. It actually physically pissed me off. Yeah, I, I thought the same. And it was only there for like a brief moment before like , the wall like cleaned itself off.
Yeah. So it was like, then how did that happen, chase? How did it, how did it get like that? It was a complete waste. Oh, come on. It, it was, life is hell. That's what it was. Life is hell spelled with a Z. Yeah. And then it was, what, what was spelled with a z? , The s. That's, that's how everything in the nineties was Kyle. That's what made it cool. Yeah. And then , they spray painted it onto , this front surface of the building, and then some like electrical currents, like miraculously just removed it within seconds.
So great special effects. Great. It was very believable. Loved it. , But hey, this leads us into a big plot point here. So, um, and we're talking about the warden now, right? Oh, we're going to back to our boy Simon Phoenix. Yeah. Yeah. Our, the warden , is Daling people.
Yes. And giving them their parole hearing. And he meets Simon Phoenix. Yeah. He comes in through the gates, got a couple guards behind him. He's kind of unlike a very mouthy, very mouthy, he's speaking Spanish. Yeah. Uh, fluently. Yeah. Bad Spanish, which, you know, I, sure. I'm not sure how he got that or what, logical reason he, , I will say this about this point in the movie.
So, and long story short, he learns the. The password to the cuffs and breaks out and basically kills. He kills everyone. He kills the two guards and rips the eyeball out of the, the warden so he can use it for the retinal scan so he can escape. But at the time I was like, how the fuck did he know all this?
Like, what is going on here? How did he figure all that out? It gets explained right, and it gets explained later in the movie, but at this point I was like, uh, but I do wanna bring up something though in this scene. Yeah. Bring it up. Come on. Let's hear. It is at this point when he starts battling the two guards who also have never fought or had any type of physical training because they've lived in this society where all they do is the way that he grabs the one.
Guard by like the cuffs. You'd think that he like throat chopped him. It was just like, it just incapacitated him. And then on top of this, like as he's hitting the guards, you hear these like weird, like skateboard nineties noises. Like, and they're just random. And it reminded me of like anytime you were playing Tony Hawks pro skater.
Yes. And you would get like the videotape or something and make that weird noise and it cut the music out. I thought the same fucking thing. Dude, I'm so happy that you brought that up. 'cause I literally, I was literally thought that while I was watching. I was like, that sound that sounds so familiar. Yeah.
And you know that, that was just like half-ass thrown in there for the kids. Half-assed. Yeah. But then that was before Tony Hawk as well, but yeah. But anyway, it was like such a nineties scene , and the, just the little sound, sound effects made no sense at all. But, but anyways, he escapes, he kills all three of them.
And then you, you, we get back up to like the police station. And they start getting all our, it's like a 180 7 is like , the code. And they're like, murder, death, kill. What? What is that? Murder. Murder, death. Yeah. Murder, death. Kill, , that's what they call a murder. , I guess they have to tack all three of those descriptors on And the computer's doing all the work.
Yeah. They don't know how to do any police work at all because they haven't had to. They've succumbed to ai. Yeah, they have. It's happening everybody. Um, but they're like, what? What's a 180 7 murder? Death kill. Like an MDK. Yeah, they called an MDK. How Fucking stupid. , But yeah. And then , they get like a closeup of like the bodies and it shows two deceased and the warden is like.
Almost dead. And it's giving like critical, like life updates by the seconds, he had like a massive amount of like in like internal injuries or just physical injuries? Just from getting kicked in the stomach and the groin in the face by Wesley Snipes, or excuse me, Phoenix. He like had like an exploded liver.
It was, he kicked him pretty fucking hard. Uh, but , after that, , he leaves this, the, the penitentiary, the cryo penitentiary and steals the warden's car and up, no, he, he killed another doctor and stole this car. Oh, that's right. He stole the doctor's car and then drove off. But, excuse me.
The funny part about all this is they're just tracing all this down. Like, this man is just murdering people out there and they're just like typing shit into the computer. And they're like, where'd he go now? What do, what do we do next? And then Sandra Bullock's like, I got an idea. Hey, computer, or what, what did she call the computer?
It doesn't matter. Doesn't, she's like, it doesn't matter. She was like, is , the doctor's car, like low jacked, can we trace it and the computer's like we can, it's on this route to this thing. And they all celebrate. 'cause they're like, yeah, we got him. We got him. And they start like doing like the little high five with the, and Rob Schneider's in this movie.
Oh, by the way, everybody, he is fucking forgot about Rob Schneider. , Just how could you forget making this random appearance in this movie? , I imagine he was just like, you can do it. But like, they , so they're tracking the car and they're looking at it through like the, through the, traffic cams and they see the car stop and they're all like, giddy.
They're like, yeah, he's just gonna surrender. We're gonna arrest him. What happens next, Andrew? Simon Phoenix, . He gets out, obviously he goes to some computer, , because he, it looked like a suicide booth. Yeah, it was almost like a, that also like an ATM with like a whole bunch of buttons, , like that.
And there was a guy in there, he is like, you look great today. Yeah. And he is like, man, shut the fuck up. And then he gets fine. Which I did think that this was a funny part of the movie is like the little computers that would find you if you cursed, because no matter what, they would talk normal and you would hear that thing go off in the distance, like you've been fine.
One credit by the, , SAPD. , And it kept going off anytime that they would say any type of curse word. And so Simon's just getting like, fine left and right in this thing. Yeah. And at this point he goes to this computer because he now has super hacking abilities so he can hack any computer which, you know, helps him override, you know, the city system and gather information about, I think his main goal is where can he find weapons?
'Cause he starts asking, you know, the computer, where can I find weapons? Where can I get this? I don't exactly know. He, he said, where's the fucking guns? He is like, you've been, find one credit by the SAPD, whatever. Just kept, I was gonna say that that part was starting to get a little old for me. By the end.
I wish they would've like, uh, they like picked and chose their moments a little bit better because , it was just a little too much. It was repetitive. So I, I, I get it. I a hundred percent agree with you when it happened, like, straight on like that. But , there's a scene where they're like in a, like a, like a building and Sylvester Stallone starts cursing and they're trying to have a serious talk.
And you could hear it in the background, like on low key. I thought that was funny. But I agree with you, Kyle. It was too much at this point. 'cause he just kept going and going and going. Yeah. , The joke landed at first. You don't have to run it into the ground. It was just, yeah, just run out.
It just played out, whatever. But yeah. , Wesley Snipes, , or sorry, Simon Phoenix gets some information. , He finds out , where the guns are, , just by hacking whatever computer terminal is out in the public. But he also gets confronted by SAPD. There's like six of 'em that, , are there to arrest him.
And at this point we talked about how apprehensive, the SAPD officers are and like how they don't know how to deal with violence. Violence because they haven't been trained in it. They don't know any combat whatsoever. They're using the like little. Computers, like little like iPads in a sense to give them instruction as to how to apprehend a criminal.
And so, yes, the one lead officer gets instructions to firmly address your criminal and give him commands to lie on the ground. Demand the perpetrator, get down on the ground. Yeah, and he does that. And Simon Phoenix. Get down on the ground and , they do it a couple times and then Simon Phoenix just beats the shit out of him.
Absolutely. Just like pulverizes them, , probably busts a spleen in a couple of 'em, breaks some legs, a neck, a back, you know, they're all on the ground, they're incapacitated and he gets away. He just steals a car and fucking drives off. Well he has a taser rod too, that they were carrying, right.
'cause they don't have lethal force, but they have like these little taser, cat cattle prods. They can like knock you unconscious if it hit correctly. Right. But most of the time they don't even know how to use those. But he shoves one of those in one of the cop cars and it explodes and just takes out like half a city block.
So Simon Phoenix is on this, like, he's probably killed like 12 people already in like 30 minutes of this movie. And he's not phased at all? No. He just needs to get to, he's enjoying, it's part of his like demeanor. He's just, he's a complete sociopath. He's just, you know, chaotic evil. And he's like, and I do want to go back because this is a huge plot point. As he's typing in trying to find the guns, he's getting this like, I guess this flashback in his head where it says, don't you have someone to kill? Don't you have someone to kill? , So , you can kind of tell he's been like, rehabilitated to kill somebody.
Programmed in some sense. Yeah. It doesn't, they don't come out and say it until later, which was stupid. But yeah, he's been programmed to, to carry out some sort of mission, which it starts making sense on why he's able to hack all this stuff because now you're like, oh, he's been programmed. But it wasn't patently obvious to someone who had never seen it before.
Yeah. And I thought it was fucking dumb. And then when they explained all that shit, which we'll get to, it was like, oh, okay. Wow. Lazy riding. That was really lazy. , Way of creating some sort of elaborate scheme here, but whatever. I digress. , So yeah, at this point, Simon's killed a bunch. He's violent, and SAPD doesn't know what to do.
So, Huxley, , Sandra Bullock was like, Hey, we should, , defrost, , Spartan, he's the only person who's gonna know how to deal with this kind of, , aggression and violence, right? They, and they decide that John Spartan needs , to come back , from his cryogenic sleep and be, 'cause he's immediately eligible for rehire on the police department.
Immediately, immediately, they dress him up. They give him their stupid new uniforms. Five minutes into him, like realizing his wife is dead, dead, his child, we never even heard about what happened to his child, right? No and no, like, no touch training. You know, here's my, alright, here's what I think.
I think that he doesn't, we never find out who his daughter is. I think it's Sandra Bullock. Ah, I, yeah, I like that. Oh yeah, that's some good old family. Family fun there. Family loving, if you will. We'll get there. Hey, we never found out what happens, so you gotta assume I'm dumb, otherwise I'm gonna assume that.
Yeah, that's, that is the quote of the episode, Kyle. God. Oh my god. Put that on the box art. She's explaining now at rapid pace what kind of society he's like coming back into like, there's no contact sports, no spicy foods, no anything like to Kyle's point, like where it can, nothing that could even inhibit a thought of violence can be allowed in this society.
, But Kyle, , what happens after they, they kind of put him up to speed and he doesn't know how to use the seashells in the bathroom. , He starts cursing profusely so that the machine gets him as many tickets as possible to then go wipe his ass. Bull.
They give him the talk through, tell him his wife is dead. His daughter's probably dead, but you're back in the forest active and well, they did tell him his wife is, goes dead in a big earthquake that we mentioned, whatever. But then he goes and takes a s like five minutes into being reanimated and, here's the deal.
Like why would he be wanting to take his shit after all of that? Did he have a massive meal before he went under? Exactly. Do you think they would f***ing, clean out his system before they put him under so that acids would, well, he wouldn't even have any food in his system. He wouldn't, that's the point.
That's so f***ing dumb. It's not mummy. No, it's you, don't you, you don't eat 10 f***ing nacho grande burritos before you go under and cryosleep. You probably clean out your system. Even if you had the burritos, you were cleaning out your system in the cryo, I guess, but whatever. But what if, see there's a part of me that wants an outtake where he gets flash frozen and it turns brown.
That would explain a lot.
I just, there's just so many questions here. Like, what would even like the consistency of his shit be at that point? If he had shit after 30 plus years. Liquid? Yeah, it would be liquid. Liquid, of course it would. , But anyways, , he comes out of , the bathroom and he is like, it didn't have any toilet paper.
And they're like, oh, oh, he's so cute. We haven't had toilet paper in 20 years. He gotta use the seashells. They obviously make fun of the man that's been in like cryos stasis for like 40 years or 40 plus years at this point. It's just so dumb. Yeah. And the whole like three seashells thing, like I'm sure whoever wrote that probably thought it was hilarious, but it hit a wall. That was not funny at all to me. What, like, what three seashells? Like what, what does that even mean? Yeah.
What is, what is the point? Like, what are you getting at here? What's the significance like? It was never even explained, which would've made it funny. It would've, but they never did that because. Idiots wrote this. , But again, let's move on before we get caught up on more shit.
So, they basically told him Simon Phoenix is out and causing a ruckus, and he immediately remembers who Simon Phoenix is. Yeah. Because his last, , run in was that building that blew up and he lost hostages. And not everybody's on board with him being there.
No, most are like, this is a disgrace. He's a caveman. He's, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's going to ruin our society. , This barbarian wants to kill that man. And so it is like they, so you get half and half Huxley's all in on this. , She's ready to go. So , she volunteers to take him out.
To, I guess they have a beat on where Simon Phoenix is going. Well, what, what they're told by the computers is Simon Phoenix will probably start his next drug underworld look underneath the city. And Spartan's like, no, he is gonna find weapons. That's fucking stupid. I'm not gonna listen to your stupid computer.
He's looking for weapons. And what was he doing? He was looking for weapons. 'cause he found out where the city museum. So there's no guns in the city too. , There's no, there's nothing. So it's all in a museum. , Which preserved the museum part looked kind of cool though. But as they're driving to the museum too, he's like, you look tense.
John Spartan. Let's listen to some oldies. And , what do they play? Kyle? I don't even remember. It was like the fucking wiggle shit. No, it was like old commercials, but it was like wiggles music. It was like children's, like, it was like the Oscar Meyer Wiener song. Like it was like. , I think, like, what did they, I can't, , I was trying to remember some of them, but they were like, just the awful jingles we heard as kids, and they're public domain, so they use them at like length here.
But they go to the museum. I thought the museum segment looked kind of cool. , Because , it's like a very futuristic museum, but the part of it's like decorated, like the exhibit looks like old New York or old Los Angeles, I guess in this case. , So you have like a taxi cab there and like some brick wall neon signs.
Yeah. They have a special exhibit for the 20th century. You don't really see that kind of in, in any type of action movie. Like, yes, I get the Cryos stasis and stuff like that. That's pretty standard for a sci-fi movie.
But I guess it was cool, but it didn't really have a huge purpose. It wasn't, it didn't, you know, wrap the movie for me. So like, yeah, I guess it's cool, but like. Whatever. We're only here for, like, I enjoyed it. Five minutes whatsoever. Yeah, so basically they, this is when they meet up again for the first time, and Simon Phoenix and, , John go one-on-one and, well, first, first Simon has to get into the warfare section and he starts kicking the glass and he can't break the glass because , it's just, it's strong glass.
But if he takes a human body and throws it at it because he weighs more, the glass is gonna shatter. Oh, what? Oh my god. What logic? Oh, so cool. That makes so much sense. Yeah, and you know, he breaks the display and then there are all these weapons that are just magically loaded with tons and tons and tons of rounds of ammunition.
Yes. I'm glad you brought that up, Andrew, because that was a big thing. Where are they getting the fucking ammunition for this? A ancient pieces of equipment that nobody uses anymore. , He would think in this little fascist, utopian society, they would remove the ammunition from these guns before they load 'em up into a fucking display.
Did he display, what did, he had like an oozy tune and that Oozy had like a, he had, okay. He had like a couple guns. He had like an ass, he had a, , a Beretta nine millimeter, another nine millimeter pistol. And then , there was a fucking G 11 and I'm like, what did this fuck, hell yeah. Brother would pick up and be like, this is the one I want to use.
The really complicated prototype. They only made like, less than like, I don't know how many copies of, and , yeah, I'll use that one that has really weird ammunition and, , a way to load it that nobody knows how to load. I'm gonna pick that one. That one, yeah. Good stuff. And then , he proceeds with, does he even have a duffle bag of anything?
No, no. He's just carrying it all on his person. He's got his big hands. That's about it. So dumb. And. Yeah. And nothing, he never has to reload, which is the stereotypical action eighties action movie phenomenon. , Bruce Willis never reloaded his Beretta and diehard, I think he fired, fired thought did.
Look it up. No, he did. He fired up. Look it up, chip 56 rounds before he actually dropped the mag and reloaded it. , That might be correct. He definitely reloaded it, Jeff. And Well, and like, I know for a fact the henchmen in it were firing those, , MP fives, like they were nothing. And by that I mean they were just unloading round after round, after round, after round.
I know it was an extended mag, but like at the same time, what is that, like 32 rounds and they were firing easy. 80. So it's 30 31. Yeah. 80 to a hundred easy. And never really, you could get an extended magazine for those. But they weren't using those. No, no. Weren't exactly being. Get it right. Hollywood, let's fucking go.
Yeah. Or , let's make every Hollywood movie like that where you don't have to reload the guns. , But anyway, , he gets the guns. Him and Spartan have their first face off in the future, and they're just blowing the shit out of this museum. They're blowing each other, collateral damage everywhere.
, And at one point , Simon Phoenix escapes. And runs into, what, is this the mayor of the city or is this just the, he's like the, he's the, like fascist dictator in a sense. He's, yeah. He's like, but he's never really explained how he came to power or why he did what he did. He created the cryo chambers.
He created the cryo chambers. But , why does that mean you have to create a utopia as well? Yeah. So he's like's the fucking logic to it. He's just worshiped. , We see that with some political leaders, but he's just worshiped by idiots. And, but they all love him. They all love him.
They think he does no wrong, even though he does plenty of wrong. , So like Simon Phoenix goes to shoot him too, and he stops. Stops. Yeah. And he can't seem to pull the trigger. Yeah. , He just can't do it. It's not like he can't actually do it. It's like he, he won't, his body will not allow him to follow through.
And it was pretty obvious that he was withholding from killing ow cocktail. Ow, whatever the fuck is. Au au cock tower. Tau. Tau. Excuse me. Yes. Big ow. , But yeah, , he doesn't kill him, and then he runs away. And then you see Spartan, , take all of this in, and he's kind of perplexed as to why Phoenix, a madman who just kills relentlessly, didn't kill this old dude in the middle of his way.
And Simon Phoenix runs away and they're like, let's go to Taco Bell. And that's when we're introduced to Taco Bell, because here's this madman who's murdered. At this point, he's getting in the hundreds and he's blown up a museum, which is a federal building, and on top of that has blown up half a city block.
And he's on the loose and they're like, let's all go to Taco Bell. I want to thank you for saving my life. John Spartan. He's like, taco Bell. He's like, well, that's the only restaurant that survived , the franchise wars. So it's the only restaurant that can be a restaurant. I guess that makes perfect sense.
Makes perfect sense. Yeah. I'm not gonna question that whatsoever. I'm just gonna take it at face value and run with it and say, yeah, and here's the point. That's how it goes. Here's the point, Kyle, that I was gonna get to earlier. So believe it or not, if you watch this movie in any other country, at the time it was Pizza Hut.
Oh, not Taco Bell. I did read that. Yes, because Taco Bell, they were worried that, , non-American audiences wouldn't recognize Taco Bell. So they used Pizza Hut in the other versions because should use K Ffc honestly. , But Pizza Hut and Taco Bell are owned by the same franchise group and KFC. Yeah. Yum.
Incorporated. Yeah. So Lay or PepsiCo, right? Yeah. So this was definitely a sponsored campaign by Young Incorporated, Kyle. Get it right. Oh, young Corp. I'm so sorry, Andrew. It's okay. I'm really, I'm really sorry. I'll let it slide., But anyway, so yeah, that company did sponsor this movie and made sure that they use Pizza Hut Worldwide so that other countries would recognize the fast food chain.
But again, it's the only restaurant that exists now. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Well, fast forward to Taco Bell. It's like some like fancy, like Miami, like nightclub vibes. There's tons of like cars in the outside, like five star restaurant. Yeah. Like people are pulling up and , they're super nice, you know, Tesla's getting Ed.
, You'll walk in, there's chandeliers and carpets and just, it's a , nice sit down, very nice Sit down, like state of the arts. And then they're served their food and of course it's like tiny nachos Bel Grande. Yeah. Yeah. That's, it's not that at all. It's like the tiny, like tiny little dishes you see at like five star restaurants that are worth like $150, but you get no nutritional value out of it whatsoever.
, That's what you're getting there at the new Taco Bell. What is it, like an inflamed duck turd or something like that? Sure. Why the fuck not? , But what happens next? , They're eating there, they're talking, , they're insulting each other. Like Spartan's insulting the fascist leader and he's trying to explain to him why no crime is good.
And he's like, well, what about independent thought? Yeah. What about jerking off and watching porn? Yeah. Like, he's like, that's freedom. Like this isn't freedom. You know? So they're going back and forth on this, and then he spots somebody on a motor, on a motorcycle. Wait, doesn't he, for before that he asks for salt and they're like, like, yeah, we don't, no salt.
It's not good for you, therefore it's illegal. And I thought that was just so fucking, definitely like nineties nutrition advice. Like, yeah, fat, salt or bad, don't eat carbs either. Ice cubes. , Ice cubes and lime juice only. , So he, he sees this guy on a dirt bike outside and, but he also sees that thing pop up from underneath the ground that we saw that created the graffiti display earlier.
It's this weird device that has like a mirror, , facing down. So whoever is lifting it up to the main surface can see what they're, you know, what's out in front of them or what's above them. But he sees that along with the dude on the bike and he is like, what's going on? What's happening? He's just like,, I gotta go policeman's hunch.
Yeah. And he goes out there and then I What happens next? Like, it's just a bunch of like another action sequence where people are flying everywhere and a bunch of hoodlums from down below Yeah. Start to take over the streets and like. Starts like dirt bikes and create a riot essentially. , And things are getting broken.
Cars are getting smashed. Some more explosions. So like it's just chaos at this point. Yeah. And, and John realizes one thing about these people and What's that, Andrew? I don't know. What does he realize? He realized that they're just stealing. They're starving. They're just stealing food. Oh, yeah. And he's like, he has a conscience.
He's like, you want me to arrest these people for just trying to eat? , And at that point they, , he kinda is anti this ruler, dictator, fascist leader, whatever you wanna call Cock tower. Yeah. Cock tower. Ow. So, and at this point he goes home with Huxley. E everything's been kind of settled. He goes home for the night with Huxley again.
Simon Phoenix is on the loose, like a murderer is on the loose who's already murdered. A bunch of people. Yeah, we're gonna get to him , after this little incident with Huxley. But they, he gets to Huxley's apartment and she's like, basically like, Hey, I'm horny. Do you wanna have sex? And he's like. Yes, I do.
Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. You're Sandra Bullock. Yes. Yes, I do. Even though I still haven't gotten over my wife, I found out that she had died, you know, hours. He got over her pretty, pretty quick earlier, but I wanna fuck tonight. So, yeah. And so Sandra Bullock's like, okay. And so she's like, sit down, I'll be right back.
And he's like, taking off his shirt with this weird like, little shirt and like, flexing. And his arms are massive in this shirt. Looks like he's about to explode out of it. Mm. Yes. She comes back with , a Quest two, two of them and puts 'em on her head. And they basically have virtual sex. Yep. , And how does she explain this to Andrew?
First of all, he's like, so are we gonna like touch or kiss her or anything like that? And she's like, no, , we can't do that. We can't transfer fluids. No. Yeah. She , keeps referring to as a transfer of fluids. It's not sex transfer, transfer fluid transfer, whatever.
Idiots get it. Right. I'm so, you come to my house, you get my wife's name. Right. You transfer your fluids with my wife. , But yeah, she's pretty much like appalled that he would even suggest that he would kiss or penetrate her. And, , she's like, this is what we gotta do. And he's like, this is fucking bullshit.
And, , he tries to kiss her. He tries to kiss her, and she's like, no, get out. And she points like, definitively like , , out her door, like, get out and he like leans in again and she's like, no. You leave and so he, and then he goes to knits a sweater. Yeah. , He goes to , the extra apartment room down the hall and looks like a conference room.
Yeah. You know, whatever. , He goes in and, knits a sweater, , that night. A full sweater. Yeah. , He's in deep contemplative thoughts and doesn't exactly understand what he just experienced, but yeah. He knits a sweater because he, he later learns that part of his rehabilitation, , is him being good at knitting.
Make it make sense. I don't know, but that is what, that must be a calming activity. Yeah. But, , that leads us to an important point here. So we're talking about rehabilitation. We should talk about who programmed, , Simon Phoenix's Rehabilitation because Simon Phoenix meets up with the Cock tower.
Cock tower. Cock tower, yep. Yeah. Co tower. And , it's revealed to us that, , Simon Phoenix has been brought back from cryogenic sleep by Co tower co tower. He has his rehabilitation that they later find out, , in their car, , driving, is that he has been given superhuman abilities, , computer hacking abilities, expressive like anger and violence and all sorts of shit.
, 'Cause it seems that Cock Tower wants to use, , Simon Phoenix to kill someone. And what's his master plan? Kyle? Who does he want dead? Is it the Pope? Is it like another world leader? Is it Aya Edgar Friend? Lee Edgar Friend Lee, right? Yes.
So yeah, , that's Dennis Leary, by the way, who we saw outside the Taco Bell yelling and giving directions for whatever fucking motive they have to steal food. , They're motive to steal food, but Yeah. Well, their, their motive to steal food was because he lives in a society underneath the city, underneath the ground, kinda like they reject, they reject the utopian society.
Right. And, they're like starving and they're trying to just make a way. So like, that's the person, someone so powerless and he wants him dead. So he, I should say the people who live underneath, they have a name, like they, their, their civilization. Straight trash. Did y'all, did y'all catch the name? No, the scraps.
Oh God, yeah. That wasn't really, I totally blank on that. That wasn't really said. , But it's on Wikipedia, so I trust it. The scraps? Yeah. They're called the Yeah, they're the scraps of society. Yeah, yeah. Makes sense. And they live in the sewers of San Angeles or whatever, San Barbara list. Yeah. , , so Simon Phoenix realizes he's trying to kill that man.
So they're, now he is making a deal with cock tower, right? Yeah. He is like, you need to kill friendly, or I'm gonna put you back into cryogenic sleep. And Simon's like, okay, I'll do what you want, but you gotta kill Spartan. And he was like, don't worry. Spartan's going under. He is going back into Cryosleep soon.
Yada, yada, yada. , That's pretty much it. Yeah. I mean, you've summed it up really well on a 20 minute scene that you've narrowed down there. So this cock tower guy is some fascist leader who has somehow manipulated all of the metropolitans of Los Angeles and Santa Barbara and San Diego, that they have to live this way.
, They need to abandon their free will and their desire to do anything they want and succumb to modern technology and just be mindless babies. , But he also has this, , incredibly genius and forward thinking plan to use a cry and criminal Simon Phoenix to kill the people who stand against the society he's created, essentially.
, Well done. Andrew. There's no, no backstory as to , how this guy rose to power. But yeah, let's hear it. , Kyle, would you give that man a Pulitzer? , No I wouldn't. , Newberry gold medal. , And then we get to the next day, Spartan, he apologizes to Huxley and gives her the sweater she's spitting over the sweater.
So like every, all the wrongdoing he's done, which is nothing in this point, but he is just taken away. , so they, , start to investigate, , his technological skills. As I was saying. They discovered that Phoenix's rehabilitation program was tailored by T Tower to make him more dangerous. , Unhappy with Phoenix's Progress cocktail threatens him like we said.
. , Back in that meeting with Cock Tower Ow and, , Phoenix, Phoenix demands that he gets like a gang of like six to eight more people. He's gonna need 'em. And he, so basically he's trying to take over this underworld or like, or whatever.
So he gets his new, , defrosted, , criminals in his gang. And they go underground. Yeah, because that's where they gotta find Edgar friendly. But then, Huxley and . You know, they, they decide to make their way underground as well as they start to, and this is where you get the wrap burger, right?
Yep, yep, yep, yep. So, so the underground is where, , Spartan is like, oh man, this is like home over here. Because everything's like from the 20th century . People are selling guns and they have like a car there, like a nice car. But they go down there because of the incident that happened outside the Taco Bell.
'cause Yeah, he remember Spartan realizes these people are living underground. This is the next piece of the puzzle to figuring it all out. Yeah. And whatever. Yeah. And so, and they do have like a little humorous scene because he is like, oh, burger, I've been wanting one of these. And he orders a burger and , Huxley's like, yeah, don't ask him what meat it's made out of.
, You don't see any cows around here. And so he ends up eating it, finds out it's a rat burger. Still better than Arby's. , Loves it. Hey don't s on Arby's. Come on man. Let's have some class here. Don't love Arby's either. How could you They have chase. They have great horse meat. Okay.
Chill out rat meat. , They've got some decent stuff and if you hate Arby's, they've got good human meat. Okay. They've got great curly fries, so don't, hate too much. Okay. , Anyway, so this is when they meet up with Simon Phoenix and his gang and then they just kind of have a battle and they kind of thwart Simon Phoenix from killing anybody basically.
Yeah. So they have an all out war under net. , So no, we're just going from one set piece to another all out war set, peace to another all out war set peace to another all out war. And that's kind of what we're having. This one just happens to be underground and, you know, Spartan and Edgar friendly kind of before all this goes down, they kind of talk to each other and understand what their world is all about and who he is and how he's not really a bad guy and how.
, As soon as he sees Phoenix, down there, he realizes that these people are in danger. And Phoenix's, , goal is to assassinate this way of life down below. Yeah. And that's like you said, just another all out war. , And then they, so Phoenix escapes, , into a cop car and then they, , Spartan and Huxley get into what type of car, Kyle?
, It's a 1970 something Plymouth. , And , it's an original and it's beautiful Cherry, it's gorgeous. Nice car. It was a beautiful, beautiful muscle car back before the emission standards went in. I think so. It might have been actually like the sixties maybe. I don't know. But , it was better than a Tesla.
Yeah. Much better than a Tesla. , Oh, by the way, , if you guys, if , if you guys are a fan of Tesla and you love it, . , You're a daft piece of shit. I agreed. But anyways, we get back track here. The car was a 1970 Oldsmobile, 4 42 Oldsmobile Plymouth. Mm-hmm. That is what, what year? 1970. Exact. Oh, yeah. Right before that was literally, they designed the year before the. Emission standards went before everything got downsized. That's a beautiful, beautiful big block.
Va baby. So they escape in that car, absolutely ruining it.
, And then taking, which is a shame, taking it on a high speed chase throughout the city to try to catch up with Simon Phoenix. And where do they end up next, Andrew? Don't they wind up back at like the cryogenic lab or something? Yeah. And this is kind of where we're getting into the, hey, and then right before they get there, Phoenix orders one of his henchmen to kill cock tower.
Right? Phoenix gets there first and. Kills cock tower. Has someone kill him because he can't do it himself. Right. He's like, kill this motherfucker for me. Throws the gun and he kills the guy, and then they just throw his ass in the fire. Yeah. PR at that, that ac that crack that actually cracked me up.
It was like pretty funny. And then at that point, now we're getting into , the final battle between Phoenix and Spartan and they're in the cryogenic chambers just going at it, just shooting each other, kicking each other. And which Kyle, I want you to talk a little bit about how freezing metal works.
Yeah. , You'd have to, you'd have to first of all, freeze that metal to the point where it is well below, like, I don't know, 250 degrees Fahrenheit negative. And it would have to be like liquid it, CO, whatever. They put on that kind of shit. CO2. Yeah. C2. , For , even for it to get close , to like breaking.
And even then, if it's super thick, you would need something big enough to like break through it and we're just like, we're freezing shit at this point. And it's just shattering, like when you look at it or if you breathe on it wrong. It is, and it's crazy. It doesn't, and again, it doesn't really make any, I get like some things, yeah, they become brittle and whatnot, but like, there are some, I'm pretty sure there are some metals or like, you know, alloys that are pretty good in like adverse temperature conditions so that like, it's not gonna just shatter.
I could be wrong. This is, this stuff was shattering like popsicle sticks. It was bad. , It was wor like ice cubes are harder to break than this shit. So, and, and what Kyle's talking about is they were basically fighting in this cryo stasis chamber, whatnot. Simon Phoenix is trying to thaw all the criminals.
Criminals, so he could have just a maniacal world in which he rules. Right? Right. Now that he's killed the dictator himself, , he's gonna thaw everyone out and control them. And Yeah, he's gonna have, now we're gonna go the opposite way, but as he's trying to do all this, they're fighting and John Spartan uses the cryo stasis, like, I guess the, the liquid.
The liquid onto like the machines that are holding him. Some like board, like some of the railings and stuff, and just punching them and they're exploding into a million pieces so that he can escape. And then how do we finish this off, Andrew? . There's a whole bunch of like cryo liquid on the floor.
, They've had like a, this is a long battle. Yeah. , They're at towards the end of their physical brawl though, but there's a whole bunch of like cryo liquid on the floor. But Spartan sees one of those cryo guns that, you know, mixed with the cryo liquid will actually freeze something and he takes it and slams it down at the feet of Phoenix.
Hops up grabs the, you know, the perfectly timed, perfectly timed grabs the, the metal, whatever you want to call it, that's circling around the facility, grabs it. It's the thing that they use to pick up the ice claw. Sure. , It's like, like a claw. It's like the claw, essentially. Yeah. But when he smashes this gun into the liquid, it has the reaction and it freezes everything in its path.
Which, how did he know to do that? , Kyle, who, who don't, we just shouldn't fucking question it at this point. I just, again, it's, it's not make, it's stupid sci-fi, like it's, the sci-fi isn't dumb. It's just the fact that like, we're getting this item that we've never seen. It's lazily written to get to the next means, to an end.
, That's essentially what it is. , It's just something he picks up and then automat. Okay. This is like a. , An electric ice flamethrower and now I freeze everything with it. And, and now I break this thing on the ground and one little drop from this, , undisclosed indescript liquid drips onto the floor.
Now everything is ice. It's like the reverse of gasoline. It was the exact opposite of their previous run in, in the warehouse where everything was in flames. And do remember what he says, Andrew? No, I don't. Do you remember what he says? Fuck no, I don't. He goes, is it cold in here or is it just me? And then Wesley Snipes is, he goes like, good memory, right Before they like, , it's just a way for them to be like, you see how, what a callback, what a beautiful callback.
And also Simon Phoenix tells John what we already knew that the bodies were already dead when they were in the fire. In the pre, in the beginning of the movie. Tells like confesses to that, which I was like, we didn't need that confession, that we knew that from the start. , Anyway, but he, when he slams this down, , it's like the opposite of like a cigarette or a match going into the gasoline.
Anything that's in the way freezes and who is in the way. But Simon Phoenix and he automatically gets frozen solid. And while you know, Spartan is on this claw going around the circle, he like smashes his head and knocks off his frozen head. Know who says severs it completely that No, I don't. How dare you?
He says, heads up. Oh God. Great. , I decapitates it. Great. Expose there. I stricken that from my own memory. I didn't remember that. Oh my God. But yeah, but it is pretty gnarly head smash though. Give on that. Yeah, it looked cool. It did look frozen. And then when it was decapitated, you saw the red and the frozen, you know, vessels and blood underneath.
And then the head smashes the ground, just goes into a million pieces. Shatters everywhere. He's dead. Everybody. He's dead now. He's dead. Dead. He's dead. Dead. , And then that's pretty much it. He made, he gets outta the facility, but it blows up somehow some way because he's demolition. He's man. Yeah. So now, now they don't have that, that.
And they're like, oh, what are we gonna do with society? Is society broken? Cock towers gone and the cryo chambers are gone? What the fuck do we do with ourselves? And, the scraps show up and they're yelling stuff too. And he's like, Hey, how about y'all beating the middle? How about. You don't, you go take a shower 'cause you're dirty and I just meet somewhere in the middle.
Yeah. And you guys start cursing and I'm gonna go over here and make out with my daughter. Like, yeah. And that's, what he does. He goes and grabs his daughter, AKA Huxley, AKA Sandra Bullock and does the whole like tilting spin , he profusely makes out with her and they zoom out and credits role and that's it. That's demolition man. That's demolition man.
Um, and I'm proud of us for getting through it that quickly. Yeah, we demolished that. , Kyle, I know you're gonna have a lot to say. , Let's talk about your version of this movie when you were a kid versus now. It's the same. Like, I, I remember it being like something that you think is gonna be good based on the previews.
There's way too much exposition that doesn't really go anywhere and not enough action, honestly. And, , the action that is there is poorly, poorly, choreographed. It's d dumb. The acting in the exposition is bad. There's not a lot of great acting going on in this movie. Surprise, surprise.
Wesley Snipes is pretty good. Dennis Leary is okay. Sylvester Stallone, you, you get what you pay for folks. , Sandra Bullock is doing the best of what she has. I don't have anything negative. Not great about her. No, but like, she's, she's good. She's a great actress. This is, this is just not the movie to showcase that because the characters in that world were so unbelievable based on the circumstances in which they lived were silly.
They were just kind of, I don't know, I don't know way, the way they talked. What a sang, it was just a very hard to believe society, , that would exist in the future. And it was just poorly written, lazy writing. Not a lot of great stuff to say about this one. And I remember that as a kid being like that.
Oh, that was okay. Like, all right, well, glad Predator's on Next because like this, that this is like, well, wait, was it was Predator two always that came on after this with Danny Glover. It wasn't, that was even, oh my God, that's even better than this by a lot. But I just don't, I don't really appreciate this movie. , Now there was no real redeeming qualities to any of it. Um, pretty, pretty tough to watch. And that's that. Damn. Andrew, what about you? With no childhood experience with this movie, I went in thinking that this was going to be like some fun, fun, stupid action movie and I would enjoy it.
Kind of like in the, the same mold as Action Jackson. You got one of those three, right? I don't even know. Stupid. Okay, that's fair. Yeah, I just. Not a lot of it made sense, as Kyle said. , The writing was piss poor, the dialogue was awful, which led to some awful acting and awful onscreen moments because the actors couldn't do much with what was given to them.
, There weren't great motives for some of the villains. Like I, the thing that bothers me is like, who the fuck is this Dr. Cock Tower? , Dr. Au. And how did he come to be? Why is he so all powerful and all knowing? Are we just supposed to accept that as him being some, , fascist leader and we bow to him?
Like, no, there's gotta be some sort of backstory, some understanding, some reason behind. We weren't given all of it. , We're just given something and we have to accept it. And that's not on my nature to, to do, , I like to question everything and have reason behind all. And it'd be one thing if this movie had just kind of played into its ridiculousness, but it took itself way too seriously.
Like, this shit has been a farce from the beginning. They should have really overplayed stuff, but they took themselves way too seriously. They thought it was cool, edgy, , forward thinking. And I, it wasn't, it fell flat on like so many levels and. I honestly felt like it was a waste of time. I didn't enjoy it and I hate to sound like a fucking asshole, but I feel pretty strongly this is not a great movie.
And, , yeah, that's, , I rest my case with that. You know, I'm gonna take the opposite stance. I don't, oh, it's, it's Mr. De Center over here. It's weird because, , I do think a lot of this movie, especially with its tone, is tongue in cheek. I do think that they were going with a lot of those eighties action vibes.
It just didn't fit the time period. , And to both of your points, , the plot that they have, there's some stuff there. I think it does work. It's just they. Don't do enough to explain it. The villain's motives are very weak. So weak, so weak. And it makes me mad. And we, and like you don't get to see how this dude ended up getting in power.
, I do like the idea of like this utopia I did. I think the first 40 minutes of this movie is fine. Like I, I actually enjoy the first 40 minutes. It's the last half is where it starts dragging for me. 'cause I, I like the idea of like these dumb simpletons that are anti-everything and like have lived in this weird world.
And then you get this like, you know, shot of violence or shot of like this grunge that's just like from the nineties, like empower them. Yeah, I, the Utopia idea is not a horrible one. It's just everything around it brings it down.
Like it just, it ruins the movie as a whole. So it's a, it's an idea that they didn't flesh out. No. Is, is is how I look at this movie, I think for sure. I think, again, I think 40 minutes in, you're, you're good and then you're golden. And then after that it started to like really wear, its wait because it's an hour and 40, it's not even an hour 30.
I thought it was an hour 59. That's with credits. . So it's like, it's 55 hour 55 me. Yeah. So that is, you shave off 15 to 20 minutes of this movie. You may have like a dumb forest to your point. , And you could have a classic. It is still, well, beloved, a lot of people love this movie. I enjoy watching the first half of it.
And then out outside of that, I didn't, , again, I don't really blame the performances here, but the writing is very bad. It's the writing, the writing, the writing brings awful here. I do think , the performances sometimes save it. , But it's unintentionally funny at times. And then when it tries to be funny, it's not.
I wanna say one more thing. I enjoyed Wesley Snips performance, but again, like Dr. Coto, like I didn't understand Simon Phoenix. Yeah. , They, they made him out to be some sort of sociopath. Sociopathic maniac. But there was no context to that. You're just supposed to accept it as is. And I don't know, that just bothers me.
I don't like being told I need to accept something because Right. And he was, I'm told to, he was a loner, but yet he was making his own army. And then he was like, I don't, it didn't make anything controversial. Yeah. And it's still alone. It just, none of it makes it insisted upon itself way too much.
Yeah. Every, every character was very simple. They weren't multilayered static. Yeah. Um, we do have to, before we leave, we do have to talk about staying. Sting. Yeah. The theme to this movie we're three, three weeks in a row right now. We have a theme song for this movie, demolition Man. Oh, the name of the theme song Shit, which was performed by Sting sting's legend.
Oh, it's in this movie A little bit when they're in the cop cars. They didn't play it as much as I thought they would, like Men in Black and Wild, wild West do. But, , sting had released a song in 1981 called Demolition Man, and they had him rerecord it and add the nineties flair to it to launch it.
This song was a very popular song in 93. Just wanted to throw that out there. Hell yeah. Sting. Keep it real, brother. Save this movie Sting. , Kyle, does this movie hold up? No. Andrew? Uh, no. I'll say, this is my final point. I do love the mix of Idiocracy in this movie, but it does not work. , I think this movie just needed more time in the oven. It's hard 'cause I do, I, part of me wants to say it holds up, but I think out of the runtime, , the amount that I'm gonna say it doesn't hold up over outweighs the amount of time that I said it does Hold up.
So I'm gonna say it does not hold up. Oh. Oh, I thought, but I'm very close. I thought you were gonna be a true dissenter today. What a disappointment. , The final hour and whatever. I just could not do it. Just could not do it. Hey, well, quickly, let's give some IMDB scores. I'll start, I'm gonna give it a 5.1.
That's higher than I thought you would give it. Uh, yeah. What about you? I mean, it has, has some meat to it and there's some big names. 5.1 is still pretty, pretty low , for my standard. So, but Kyle go ahead. Give it something. I was gonna go 4.3. Hmm. Damn, Kyle. Hated it. , I was gonna say five seven.
It is six seven on IMDB. There's no way. Ew. It's 6.7 stepbrothers, I think is 6.6. Like fuck off. Granted, very different movie, very different timeline, but still like no comedies also suffer a lot too com, but comedies and horror movies, there ares so, so many other movies that I could find on there off the top of my head that are ranked lower.
I would also say there's a lot of movies that are way worse than this. Yeah. That's why I, that's why I put it in the fives. Yeah, I think that's fair. Like this isn't the worst movie we've watched it just annoyed the fuck out. Me. Well, and we apologize George. , you know what we do here? That about wraps it up. We reach into your childhood nostalgia. We pulled Demolition Man from your action movie Brain and found out you better take it out 'cause it's gonna make your brain go dead.
, Might freeze you, giving you the brain freeze. George, we're so sorry we tore your movie apart, my friend. But we wanna invite you onto the next episode. Two weeks from now we'll have George Howard Adams back on the show as we look at Con Air. We will see you all in two weeks.