Hold up just a minute. This is Chase with Kyle and Andrew, and Kyle's been watching a lot of Hallmark movies recently. It's that time of year. You love those movies, right, Kyle? , I've never heard of that channel, nor do I watch it. Oh, Kyle, you told me the other night that you have just become so overwhelmed with the spirit of Christmas that you subjected yourself to a Hallmark a movie a day.

Yes, but what I said was the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of God. Hallmark has that. I know, which is why I was surprised I'd never heard of it before.  We understand that a Hallmark movie comes out, like, one every ten minutes or so. Especially around this time of year, when it's just nothing but trash and Christmas movies.

So, we decided on Hold Up today, We're gonna make our own Hallmark Christmas movie. It seems easy, right, Andrew? Oh, it's gonna be a breeze and it's going to end up perfectly. , we're gonna go ahead and set this up . , , Andrew, give me a setting. Obviously, this is a Christmas movie, so it's gonna take place at Christmas, but give me a setting. 

 Do you want just one setting, cause I feel like these movies have like multiple settings that , can join into one. If you're looking, let's just say you use the U. S. for example, you just say the Midwest. I was gonna say Moline, Illinois.  There you go.  Farmland, baby.  That's like the home setting right there.

Okay, that's where these characters live. Moline, Illinois. . We gotta do a couple other ones. Where do these characters end up?  I think we should do one in like  Vancouver. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, for sure. Travel internationally. And then there's got to be like another.

Like a more exotic destination. You where, where Kyle? You tell me that Moline, Illinois is not that an exotic destination. That's milquetoast. I would say if we're trying to get really exotic, we can just say the surface of Mars.  I'm going to put an asterisk by that one. The surface of Mars. So Moab, Utah. 

? We'll see how it, we'll see how it ties together.  We'll let it happen. All right. Uh, Kyle, give me a female lead. 

Um, she's a very tall Nordic woman named Torg.

A very tall Nordic woman. Can you give me a little bit about her personality? She's tall. She's very, she's tall. That influences the way she looks at things.

So she thinks that she can literally see. better than she can. So she's incredibly farsighted, how tall , is Tori? She's six, six. Okay. She's tall. Like she's, she's tall. She could pick you up and create a new, like a baby, like you like. Okay. So , she's very reserved, but outspoken about her job and she's a server.

So she doesn't talk to anybody when she's off the clock. , but when she's serving at this diner,  because I decided that's where she works now,  that's all I need. Yeah. So she's very at like in her job. She would be very like, oh my gosh I love to love to oh my gosh. I love talking to you. I love talking to you  and then as she's leaving she puts her headphones in she does. Okay, then she no not even her headphones She just like like a robot she switches it off  Interesting.

So she doesn't have any kind of like attachment to anything but her job. All right. So she doesn't know about Christmas She doesn't know about that shit. Andrew, give me a male lead. All right, so Brett  lives in Vancouver and Just like Torg, he works in the service industry. He's a bartender at some  Restaurant that specializes in, , giving you tarot cards with your drinks.

Oh, like a fancy cocktail, like you're paying like 18. Like , the place is called like Death and Company or something. Yeah, I have a very important question. Yeah. Does he wear fedoras like seriously? No, but he wears, , beanies. Yeah, the beanie. Yeah. It's folded up. Like, are you talking about the old 20s ones?

Are you talking about like the old ones? Are you talking about like a literal like cap? I'm talking like Like a cap. Yeah. I'm talking like hipster Brooklyn beanie like , snow like ski cap. I'm gonna add on to this and he is in when he goes to work He wears the white long sleeve button up with the suspenders  and they're like connected to his  blue jeans.

 And he's wearing the plaid shirt underneath with the white. Yeah, and he's always got mountain boots on , but he drives a Prius. Yeah, absolutely. No offense to Prius drivers. He really cares about the environment. That's one of the reasons he got away.

He's from America, but he left America to get to a cleaner and safer spot. But he's got a big bushy beard and long hair. Does he wear glasses, but he doesn't need the glasses. He doesn't need them, but he wears them. There's no lenses in them.

 He left America because he was sick of the capitalism and whatnot and wanted to go to a place that, you know, capitalism doesn't exist in Vancouver, at least in his mind, and he's just very, , negative and argumentative about most things and, , stubborn.

Incredibly stubborn write that down. That's important. He's stubborn  Not the greatest but he does make a nice manhattan  and that's about it at 20 manhattan. Yep All right. Give me four supporting characters. Kyle. Give me two of them. , remember We have two insufferable characters already, so we need some Christmas cheer with this.

So, I think Torg has a, , she has a really downtrodden apartment, but she spends all of her money on her fish enclosure, like an aquarium.  So  Oh, I think we've set ourselves up for success here.  I think it can only go well.  Is the, are you about to say the fish are the supporting characters? Yeah, I was gonna say,  not two of them, just one.

They're a conglomerate of fish folk.  A school. A school of fish. They obviously are fish brained, so they don't have any like, cognizant, , real thoughts.  But like, , they're there for her, she thinks. 

Everything from , the betta fish to the  she has a Carp, , she has a couple. I think we've got what we need. I don't think you do Um, but okay. So this let me finish the second supporting character   is Brett's  What was it, 2006 Honda Civic? Something like that.

He has a very, very fond relationship with that car. And he says it's going to be a classic soon. And what is that car's name?  Um, Josephine  car like Napoleon. He says, let's just like Napoleon's Josephine. , , I'm gonna add a character in here just to find, 

 I'm gonna add Marv, the owner of the diner that Torg works at  , he is about mid sixties kind of a. A rough guy. He's been around the streets a little bit. He moved to, we didn't even say where Torg is living. I'm going to say Moline, Illinois.  , and he owns this diner and he, all he wants for Torg is to get out of this town.

, that's his one dream in life. He's missing a leg too. From what? Type two diabetes. He's always  wearing a white  apron from the diner and it's always stained with like gravy.  And he's got  like a five o'clock shadow no matter what time of day and he could just shave and it's automatically there and The only thing he looks forward to during the day is Right at 3 30 when he can go out back and smoke a pack of cigarettes.

Wow. Fuck. Yeah That's a lot life left him in 84 hasn't been the same since all right I'm, not gonna lie, but it has it has a heart of gold the image that I have of this man is that of  Dax in the second Star Wars prequel the Clone Wars when he talks to that guy in the diner Yeah, that's Marv.

That's Marv. Just with less arms and like missing a leg and he's like, yeah My dream is for you to get out of here. Yep. That's it. I just want you to be happy. Yeah  All right. I got a couple except this guy's all Midwest accent. So similar to  Torg's, , manager. Keep in mind, we're talking about supporting characters and Kyle listed two items. 

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Chase. One is an item, the other is a living creature. You filth.  You scumbag. Are you kidding me? Didn't really compute. Alright, so. So, much like Marv has a relationship with Torg in the sense that it's her manager, Atlas is Brett's manager. Atlas!  This cocktail bar dude. Is it gonna be Brett's like tattoo artist?

He definitely is a tattoo artist on the side. , he's got arm sleeves up and down. Uh, you know, he's got  Tattoos all over his bald head. ,  he's always challenging Brett to refine his craft because they don't expect anything less than his best. At this bar. Always trying to, you know, inspire him to create new recipes and , new drinks and, , maybe new, , bar menu food items.

Is Atlas a good dude? Not really. I mean, he's not a bad dude. We have so many insufferables. He's not a bad dude. He's just really, he sees the world in black and white. Okay. It's really aggressive. , which is different than Brett, who sees it in, like, A lot of different ways. Oh, many moving parts.

Brett is very intricate and misunderstood. Whereas Atlas is on or off, hot or cold. , and Atlas  is a man of a few words, but you listen when he speaks because he has profound wisdom. Gotcha. . , but he smokes Campbell Blues. , and honestly, , Brett. Dresses to be Atlas. This guy is usually wearing black like head to toe,  suspenders never doesn't own a pair of  Anything but like shiny loafers.

Does he have one of those mustaches? Yes. Yes. It's  oiled and it twirls And , he definitely wears a fedora usually wears like three piece suits as well But  no, he like wears the pants the shirt and the vest and no and like it's like a tweed vest or something Above all atlas is a he's a creative.

Yeah, and atlas is not his real name. He changed that his real name is like greg. Greg . Greg Tarson the third or something. Alright. Atlas. , any more supporting characters? Yeah, Officer Crumpke.  He's the chief of police of uh, Moline, Illinois. Are you kidding me? Are you taking that from Swiss Side Story?

Swiss Side Story, yes. You fucking idiot.   He's a jolly fellow. He loves to sing. Loves to sing. Yeah, I bet. Loves to dance. Alright, that's it for that one. No, no, no, no, no. He's, he's loved by all in Moline. He is like Moline's, , mayor, but not really. , he is the most important figure in Moline.

How many people live in Moline, Illinois? , it's not that small. It's right across the river from, I think, Dubuque, Iowa. That's annoying. , it's probably a town of like 40 or 50 thousand. Maybe a little less. Kyle, do you want to add another supporting character? Who lives in Utah? No one, yeah, so I had a supporting character from Utah.  Torg? It's gonna be Torg's? Um, well  put together, but very quirky aunt. And they're, she's Mormon.

She is Mormon, but she's like into that Santa Fe kind of lifestyle. What's her name? Moab. Moab. Her name? Yeah. Patricia. Yeah, that's perfect.  Alright, , we got our characters. So next up is, what's the theme of this? The social theme. The social theme.  Ooh. I think,  I think it has to be,  something in the form of Christmas if we're making a Hallmark Christmas movie not so not inflation  Inflation around the Christmas time.

 No, I think it should be like unexpected love or something. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, because all those Hallmark movies are the same theme. Why would we venture away from that? No, we can't. Um,

alright, now the next step is The conflict. Mm. I feel like there's an airport involved here. 'cause things happen at airports. You got Vancouver International. Mm-hmm . You got Moab,  , um, and then you got Dubuque. I don't, does Moline have an international airport? Dubuque Moline probably has a nice little continental airport.

 I think Brett has to get away from Vancouver. Because he's originally from america. I think he needs to get back to his midwestern roots because that's where  He's from like nearby michigan or something.

 What if I throw you a curveball atlas is diagnosed with cancer? Oh shit, there's got somebody has to get cancer in this. No, we're not doing cancer.  We could give atlas cancer  We could say that testicular cancer. Yeah, but  Why would that get brett out of vancouver?

Because the only thing holding him in vancouver right now is his love for atlas atlas dies or is at least  incapacitated with cancer and It gives him a chance to, , go back home, because he's like, Oh, I've forsaken my family in Moline, Illinois. Yeah, he's not from Michigan. , he's from Iowa.

He's across the river. Yeah. But , his parents have moved there and he's lost touch with them. And now seeing that this father figure of him, his passing away, makes him want to go  See his parents for Christmas. Yeah, so he just moves back. I wouldn't say he moves back I just say he goes to visit for like an extended stay.

He's there for like two weeks plus Right,  and Atlas goes off to Switzerland for cancer treatment. Yep So he's out of the picture. So now he feels alone on the holidays. He's like, well, damn I saw this father figure of mine You know get testicular cancer. I need to go. I need to go check on my own So he doesn't fly from Vancouver National.

He drives with Josephine his Yeah, civic or yeah civic  all the way to fucking he doesn't even get all the way cuz Josephine Kicks the bucket. That's right. Transmission drops. So now he's lost two of his favorite things. Where, where does she kick the bucket though? . Moab. He takes the long way down.

It's coming together. And he stops in Moab and who does he run into like on like the main streets? Marv or Torg. Alright, so we're actually into act one here. We're making headway. So the conflict here is Death, I think. Yeah. So we'll just say that but so moving on in act one.  So  cancer of Atlas.

He's traveling with his Honda. It kicks the bucket. Now he's lost everything, everything that's associated with Vancouver anyway, because he bought that car out of Craigslist. Yeah. And then now he got robbed.  He  lost his V card and then he makes it to Tombstone, Arizona as a pit stop and he gets robbed there again.

Yeah. So he's really, yeah, but I should say, I think it's important that he, he meets someone in Moab, , a little teaser. Patricia's in Moab, isn't she? Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm . Yeah. Where does, where does he meet Patricia? He at a coffee shop easily. Because he needed a quarto.

He needed a Cortado. Corto. He, and  he didn't have any money. He didn't, and Patricia heard that he. Didn't have any money. So she bought him one. Yeah, and she was like, she's like, where are you? Where are you off to? And he's , I'm searching. I'm just searching but end destination is Moline Dubuque.

And she's , oh, that's where I'm going I've got to visit  my niece. There's a lovely exotic daughter A six foot six. Is that her daughter or her, or? No, sorry, niece. Niece, yeah. I got a lovely niece who lives there. She is quite, quite a specimen. It played basketball. Related to my blood. For the University of Northern Iowa.

Yeah, Northern Iowa. But she was, she's a disgraced player. Disgraced because she's, she cheated.  P. E. D. s. Yeah. But And even though she used P. E. D. s, she only averaged like two points in three boards a game. But She was mostly known for her fights. Yep. She wore brass knuckles to a lot of games, broke a lot of teeth.

But this is getting all Brett all worked up. Yeah, he's like, Wow, she sounds like a real hipster.  I bet she listens to the smiths  She sounds like a real morrissey fan, yeah  patricia's like, you know,  .  Come with me.

I'm heading there. Oh  what are the odds? I need some company but but but but but and then Brett's like, kinda hesitant, but he also doesn't have any choice cause he's out of money, he got robbed, he doesn't have his car anymore. And Patricia's a wealthy Mormon and she's gonna pay for his flight back.

Right. All Mormons are wealthy.  We gotta focus on Torg a bit. And her life and yeah, so while all this is happening what's going on with Torg other than Marv? Cuz I you know Torg well better than all of us. So, where is she?  , so Marv gets hit by a bus and dies.  Or, Just critically injured. He's holed away in the hospital for the foreseeable future. , so yeah. So he's definitely, he could get better, but he needs this surgery. And his estate can't afford it. So, who finds out, who gets the news about that?

But Torg. And she knows that she has to do something to save her friend.  Patricia's on her way because she's gonna be, , Torg is gonna be alone for Christmas. Patricia doesn't want that, so she's gonna go visit her niece, and  while, in the meantime, while they're driving down, Torg is just, , she's starting to come alive again.

She's starting to try to, like, save her friend, and now she's reaching out to the people that she'd been shunning outside of the diner. And they don't want to help her, cause like, aren't you that bitch that won't wave at us at ever, or ever. But you, but you don't want to, you're so jazzed to give us fucking pancakes on a Sunday.

And you never look us in the eyes because you're six foot six, so we never like feel that you actually care about our existence. Yeah, and we're actually terrified of you, and she's terribly farsighted, so they don't know that she actually doesn't recognize them. And they, and a lot of them are Northern Iowa fans, like, aren't you the girl that overdosed on beaver tranquilizers?

That's exactly what, that's exactly who she is. And that's what she got in trouble for. Didn't you put our program on probation for all the fights you started?  But she's trying to reach out, she's trying to raise money to save Marv, who is a brain bleed at this point. He's not doing well.

He's definitely got his leg, entire leg, like casted up and it's like, Resting at like a 75 degree angle in one of those hooks. You know what I'm talking about? But he's just in a coma though. He's in a coma, but his leg is stuck in that position. Each day that goes by Torek knows that that money is going up and up and like, and the doctors are about to like, they're like, we're gonna throw him out on the streets.

We're gonna, worse, we're gonna put him in Indiana. If you don't. Pay up. We're gonna move to Indianapolis.  So that's kind of finishing our act one. Andrew, what happens in act two?  I believe Patricia and Brett make it to the homeland. They make it to God's country, Russia.  Moline. Illinois. Okay. That's adjacent with Dubuque, Iowa. 

So. One could forget. Uh, you know. Not if they're listening to this podcast.  Patricia drops bread off at his parents place, and they have a lovely like colonial two story home where One garage basketball goals been there since like the 90s hasn't been touched. They drive like a, , a Honda pilots and like a Toyota Sienna and that's out front.

There's snow on the ground and you know, Brett gets there and he's all mopey and stuff. He's like, hi mom. And she's like, Oh, but I will say even before he gets out of the car, Patricia's dropping him off. Yeah.  They've had this bond experience. Yeah. We can't, we can't throw that away. You're right. Yeah.

And Patricia's like, you know what?  And Brett's like poured his heart out to this woman. It's the first time he's ever really connected with somebody. Yeah, they talked a lot. Yeah, she looks at him as he looks all mopey looking out the window about to take this walk to his parents house.

And she's like, you know what? You want to come to my house for Christmas dinner?  . Your family's welcome. Yeah. Um, I know it's just me and my niece, my tall, sexy niece, who can block a shot.  , 

 I  wanted to like touch upon Their little road trip to Moline just like some a few  little tales a few little connections Give me some connective tissue here.

Yeah, so You know, Patricia , and Brett have to travel across the country to get back to the heartland. , they don't really know each other. , Patricia gets upset at Brett because he smokes too much.  Cigarettes? Yeah, but , he does like his own rolled cigarettes. Like, he does like natural tobacco.

Doesn't he also use a pipe too? Yep, yep, yep. Cherry tobacco. She didn't like that, but , Brett reminded her of her father. Yeah. Yeah.  Cause her father had a big beard and smoked from a pipe. So she didn't mind it, and she told him that. She's like, it's fine, you know, my father used to smoke around us all the time.

I like you, I respect you, you're bold. You don't, , shy away from what you like and what you want. It's the same thing as my niece. My niece loves to smoke from a pipe. Yeah, yeah, and , she mentioned that. And she also likes listening to the Smiths. Yeah.  Yeah loves the Smiths and of course Brett and he's a big Smiths guy Yeah, a big Morrissey fan  But they're like, you know  Halfway through they're probably in like Nebraska or something like that and  they got a stop in town to get  some gas and it's like a one stop town and there really isn't like a It's  There's a gas station, but it's like a single self serve pump and , Patricia was like  I'll get out and do this and Brett's like no.

No.   I got to do this for you Don't  you're driving the entire  22 hours or whatever it is. So you you sit in there and he branches the gun  No  while he's , you know pumping gas he takes out his knife and starts whittling to sharpen it, you know That's that's what you do  but  Patricia again is just once struck by This this manly man who deep down is very insecure and hates himself and everyone in the world but to her He's a man's man, and it's, it's respectable, and  it's a likable quality.

So, Patricia doesn't necessarily develop a crush on him, but she has a soft spot for him. So what's the age gap? Oh, like 30 years? I thought so. Yeah, like Patricia's like And she also sees Brett as this, , tough cookie to crack, but there's a soft center in there nougat on the inside.  He's hearing a lot about this a torg character Yeah, and   he's just intrigued, you know I think he's like very interesting, but probably not good enough for me.

You know what I mean? Like probably doesn't necessarily meet my expectations But I I like what I see smith's fan  loves to smoke Uh, , I've done Bieber tranquilizers.  I've done Bieber tranquilizers when I was in my pre, , wannabe ex game phase in northern Vancouver.  Now he just does heroin. 

Dabbled. He dabbles in heroin on the weekends.  So speeding it along here because this is going to be a four and a half hour movie. Kyle, , what happens with Brett and his parents when he arrives?

So we arrive and the parents are not happy. With him because it has been a while since they've seen him. And they haven't, he hasn't Responded at all.  He's been very aloof and very, um, One would say slightly disrespectful to his parents. He used to write on fresh papyrus to them every month, but he stopped doing that.

Yes, and they want to know why he's been so behind on his arts and crafts. that he sends them every month since he was a toddler. , their dad owns like a, like a, no, their dad, local drug store that he's so mad that Brett's not taking over the family business. And , it's the best drug store in the region.

Don't they actually have , it's an old drug store. Like they sell hamburgers and French fries.  And I think the big reveal is  that drugstore was recently bought out by Walgreens. Oh. And his family came into some money. Maybe that's, yes. That's exactly what happened. And he doesn't want to give it to Brett.

No. Because they don't want, they didn't want the money. They wanted their store. They wanted their store.  And they were like, if you were here, then none of this would have happened. You could have helped me run it. And instead, you know, I got cancer.  What's in the water?  Uh, lead.

Jesus Christ. But,  and Patricia's here  just kind of taking this in because she's right at the front of  the snowy driveway. She was supposed to drive off, but she kind of listened in. Now, and she leaves now, but she got all she needed. And now she's like, I understand why bread is. The way he is.

The way he is. Hardened. Hardened. That nougat is far from reach. So Kyle, um, what does Brett do? Brett leaves this house, right? He leaves this situation. Yeah, he's done with that.  He didn't need that smoke in his life. He's leaving. . He's on the prowl for a good cocktail, right? Absolutely. Maybe mixed with some ecstasy or something. And every bar he goes into is just like PBR but guess whose favorite drink is PBR?  It gets, or Patricia to Torg loves PBR and, and Patricia actually likes PBR, but like, you know, we find that out later.

And Torg is at this bar, drinking. Yes. Because she's trying to drown her sorrows as well. And she's wearing her old volleyball uniform that she was wearing when she got kicked out of Even though she played basketball. When she got kicked, when she get kicked out of the Saskatchewan Women's Soccer League.

Yeah, because she went from basketball to volleyball to soccer. And in the back corner, , she's got like two or three pints that she's finished. But she's playing darts by herself.  She's very good. She's got her pipe and she's tall.  He like sees her from across the bar and , he forgets everything that Patricia had said about her. So he doesn't realize. And he goes over there, and he, and they start talking, but they start talking in that, that chatty way where they're like kind of flirting but hating each other at the same time he's like PBR, such swine. Yeah, and then how, how does Torg respond to that?

She, uh,  uh, you, you five foot six, man. You're worthless. You're worthless. You're worthless. This is good. He'll have some and then she is he german, uh, you know,  swedish german they're close enough She took enough beaver tranquilizers. It changed her nationality. They're across the north sea.  They inform each other I think he I think they get kind of get into a little scuffle here into an argument Yeah, and I think they scuffled no not a scuffle But they have words and he start and he they he finds out, you know He says something along the lines of, like, Well, I think PBR is for hipsters.

And she goes, Well, what are you, then? And he goes, I don't like the way you talk. And she goes, I could spit on you, little man. And he looks up at her.  And he's a full foot shorter. He's a full foot shorter. And he realizes his, his folly. And, , I think at that point, , he goes, Well, Volvo is for sissies, and she just loses her mind.

 She grabs a pull cue Yeah, that's right. And slams it over the Snaps it Slams it over the back of his head Yeah And knocks him unconscious Yes So  does she vacate the premise? No, no sticks around and she nurses him back. She picks him up carries him like a baby What she takes she takes him back to  her studio apartment  It's a really shitty studio apartment.

Yeah, and you know sounds nice But it's not nice and Brett wakes up  on the chair in the chair And she's like kind of nursed him back to health and she was like, sorry I've you know Royd rage hits occasionally and he's like trying to like fall asleep because he's like, you know, No, but he's like looking around you wake up But  as he's like in and out of consciousness He's like looking on the walls and he sees like the smiths posters  The vinyl records.

Yeah. Yep. Yep. It's also a keg of pbr but in the back corner Before he passes back out, he sees, um, a bunch of bourbon in his ten year, eight year bottle and bond. This woman knows what she's doing. Yeah. And so he passes the fuck out, again, and then wakes up,  and she's like apologizing to him.

He's kind of, like, go fuck yourself. You hit me in the back of the head with a pool cue.  But , she offers him a nice, , Manhattan. Yeah. That , she's made. She's like, I made you a Manhattan. And he, and he tastes it. It's got elderberry in it. And it's got real elderberry. Real. From , the fields.

Mountains of Switzerland. Of, of Sweden rather. That, that, that were grown in Illinois. Yes. But they came from there. They came from there. And they're third generation hybrid seeds. And she's like dabbing his head with a cold rag too. So he can see like, her like biceps  he's also shirtless too.  He's got some girth. He could be a rugby player. Oh for sure. Yeah, he's ready to go. But , he's like, tasting the Manhattan, talking about how great it is.

And he's just, he's floored. And she was like, the reason I drink PBR is because it's the only thing I can afford. Yeah, and he, and this bourbon collection was left to me by my great grandfather who died of PBR. Yeah,  oh Man man and so  she's gotten this inherited bourbon collection and she's like, I just never have anybody to drink it with Yeah, and so like he feels that and he's like, you know what?

I'm really sorry for shitting on your drink of choice the PBR even though it tastes like pawns gum Yeah, and they find some common ground and then she's like, oh Where did you come from? Uh, little man.  And he's like, well, I, , met this nice lady, in Utah. I was going the roundabout way because I like my nature to get back home.

Her name was Penny? Uh, no, no, no. Her name was Patricia. Uh, you know, short woman about 5'2 And just as he says that, the door opens up and here's Patricia with the groceries. And here he is, Brett, shirtless, being nursed, back to health, with a Manhattan and a PBR on the side. And I think she gets jealous in that moment.

She gets a little jealous, but also   she's warm inside as well. She's like, this man that I know is incapable of loving me and vice versa.  He seems to have found some connection with the next closest thing to me, my niece. , this should do the trick.  I think we head into act three at that point, and we'll have to speed this up.

They start kind of smitten with each other, and they tell each other the stories of Marv and his parents, and Marv are not doing so hot. ? I think after a while they start like kind of hanging out during this holiday season. 

I think what Brett should do is, because she's having trouble connecting to the town, , , I know how we can save Marv, how about we make cocktails out of all this expensive bourbon and sell it on the corner? Yes.  Without a liquor license.

Without a, that's where Officer Kromke comes in. Ah, beautiful. Yay. So, uh, so Brett's like gonna start sell, like making all these menus and cocktails and they're basically opening like a weekend bar. It's like a lemonade stand. Yeah, like a weekend. In the corner of Moline. But it's not lemonade, it's hard alcohol.

But  they got string lights to put up on the, the wooden panel. Like, and what does he name it? He named it Marv's. Marv's Bar. , she's like, what a great idea, this will save everything. And then, , Officer Crumpke shows up on the big day, the big weekend, and they're, they're raking in money at this point.

People are like, oh my god, you got a pappy 23 years. Why are you mixing it with an old fashioned? This, this should be a criminal  event. And Officer Crumpke is like, you know, he wants to do his job. He wants to arrest them. He has to. And he has to. He goes up to him and he's like, whose alcohol is this?

Do you have a liquor license? , and fucking Torg sells him out. Torg's like, it's his. It was his idea. So, Crumpke, like, goes to put the handcuffs on him, and  , Brett is fighting. He's like looking at, like, he's looking at Torg, and he's like, I can't believe you sold me out like that. , , he was falling in love with this woman, and now she's saved herself, and  So Crumpke thinks he's fighting with him, so he tazes him.

Yeah, and and then Crumpke takes him back to the jail cell. Right. And it's just him and Crumpke in the jail cell. , there's no secretary. Wait, he got in the jail cell with him, or he's just on the other side? He's on the other side. He's going to the jail cell. And Brett's like,  I I guess I need to get bail and all this stuff.

And I guess this is going to be a year probation. And he's like, no, sir. You do you know where, where you are? Illinois selling liquor without a liquor license. That's a 19 count felony right there. You're going to prison for 23 years,   I think Brett starts like singing some songs just like  he's just so Christmas music some Christmas music smith covers of Christmas music Yeah, but then he also like kind of devolves into more of like a tin pan alley era Like, you know some like frank sinatra and like bing crosby and krumpke's like I kind of like this.

What, yeah, and Crumpke, I think Crumpke starts to join him, and then like they stop, like we shouldn't be doing that. Kyle, take it from here, I want to hear you. You know where this is going. So they start singing together, and Crumpke goes,  I think I've been too harsh on you. , I think I'm starting to see why you did what you did. 

You just want to help people, right?  And he says, you're damn right, officer.  So then Krumpke surreptitiously  absconds with him. And they do like a whole like song and dance routine. I'm talking like, uh, It's around the It breaks into a musical. Make them laugh from like, you know, Singing Make them laugh.

Make them laugh. Moses supposes they're doing flips and like tap dancing all over the jail room. But then it bleeds to the outside. And they take the town by storm. They take the town by storm. They deal everybody and they start It's almost like the beginning of Beauty and the Beast. Yeah. When she's like, Hell no. 

And Officer Krumke, he, you know, he's a cop, but we know that he has a very strong musical side to him. So he is just taking this, in all his power, and just fighting. Fucking letting it all out and he goes over to his desk drawer He's like look at what I found and he pulls it out and it's a liquor license He does.

Yep, and he's like, let's go save marv And They're going through some neighborhood towns and streets and whose house do they go by?  But Brett's parents,   the parents see it and they see, they see this different Brett who's, , doing the Charleston and doing all sorts of batmas and kicks and singing his lungs out.

He's still being creative, just in a physical sense. Yes, and that changes the parents view on everything and they go out and , they  stop the whole musical and his, him and his parents have a very tender moment together. Right there in the snowy streets of Moline. And they're like, Brett, this new side of you,  this creative side to you, , we thought it was dead.

But, , you've got the whole town in your back, people are singing and dancing, and we want to let you in on the fortune. , and, then it goes back, and it flash forwards, and Torg has kicked open , the, Police station, and she's got a 12 gauge Mossberg shotgun, and she's ready to take that place by storm But everyone's gone, and there's no cameras there, so luckily nothing, nothing will happen to her.

So she, , she definitely is wearing a trench coat though. But she goes, she goes over, and big boots, so she goes over and leaves an envelope of money , on the desk. And she was like trying to bail Brett out at the end of the day, by force apparently. By force. I would take my money or else.

They get back to , the, , the police station and they see that lump of money and there's the note from Torg. And they're like, oh, we gotta, we have to get back to her.

 To make this right in a sense. , They drive back to the little alcohol stand they have there on the corner, and she's sitting there shotgun by her side, she's got her trench coat and boots on. You can tell she's flustered and angry and, , the cop car pulls up, sirens are turned off, and, you know, who steps out, Brett, and he just kind of stares at her, and Krumpke steps out, puts his hand on his shoulder, and it kind of lets the people know, Torg, especially, that things are okay.

. And what does Torg do? But starts to cry. She cries in front. She starts sobbing. She starts sobbing. And she was like, the only reason I came here is because my family owns Walgreens and they bought a local drug store out. And Brett starts to connect the pieces that she didn't want it as much as like, His family didn't want it and now she's an outcast from her family like he was and that's the connecting pieces And that's all they wanted to do.

They just wanted to but Brett's like here's the mutt Let's they finish up the with  officer crumbs key over here like singing  they sell all this alcohol make all the money to save Marv and now that he's in on his family's fortune They can for sure so so sell Save Marv. You can sell Marv.

They save him first. His dad comes in and goes, I'll take one Manhattan. And pumps down like 2, 000. No, it's a check for like 1. 5 million. Yeah, it's like something ridiculous. , they end up saving Marv, Brett, and , Torg are , outside of, , the hospital, where everyone's singing Christmas carols to Marv, who's still unconscious at the time.

Still unconscious. Hasn't woken up yet. Yeah, but they're all, , decorating his room with Christmas.  Brett's like, I just,  I gotta go.  I just can't do this and he breaks Torg's heart because Torg wants him to stay And that's where he goes to the airport  and then at the airport He's checking in because Patricia had bought  his  flight home.

, he's at the gate and  Brett gets a call from  the main. ,  What do you call it? The flight attendant who is in charge of the gate back for to vancouver wherever he's going And she's like sir, you do you have an international call?  And Brett's , what? How do you know?  , how do you know?

It's for me. And she was like, do you know a man named Atlas? And his heart drops. And, , she hands him the phone. And what does Atlas tell him?  Atlas tells him, I've been cured. I've been cured. It's a Christmas miracle. It's a Christmas miracle. And he was like, what are you up to tonight? And he's like, I'm on my way back to Vancouver.

I, , danced around , my hometown. I was arrested for, , selling alcohol without a liquor license. I broke the heart of a tall Norwegian girl, and now I'm fleeing it all. He just turned from, from Finnish to Swedish to whatever the Norwegian.  And then, You see the phone get taken from him and hung up on the, , the receiver and it's Torg.

And she just goes, where are we going? And they embrace in this giant kiss. No, no, what he does, he goes, , he says, where are you going? He goes, nowhere, baby. And he pulls her down from the lapel and like pulls her in and she puts her hand like right behind his head. And she just like eats his face.

Yeah, but to predate that to give a little foreshadowing before Torg hung up Atlas told Brett that he was making a mistake and he was not fulfilling his creative endeavors And that's when Torg grabbed the phone hung up and hung up She was there and that wraps it up. Look at that. I did not think that was gonna come out like anywhere close to like pretty fucking Legible at all.

So that's it. That is our hallmark movie. What does everybody think? What's the title? Yeah What's the title of this movie kyle?   Tasty dog andrew. Do you have a better name than that? I think it should be something , it's got to be something it's gonna be something simple but yet  Stupid found in moline or something lame like that found in moline  I that that's that's still it's still we're still off.

 It's gotta be something with atlas searching for atlas. Yeah The Christmas atlas or something. Christmas atlas. I think the Christmas atlas. In Moline. Moline's Christmas Atlas. There we go, that's it. Or, uh, yeah. Anyway, what should we name this masterpiece of a film? Yeah, comment. Or don't.

Let us know. Please comment. And also, if Hallmark executives are listening right now, we will take that Hallmark money and  We can pump these out all day, right, Andrew? Oh, yeah. , we could do this again next week. We could do it the week after that. We could do it every single day till the end of December.

, you could lowball our pay all day long. Yep. Kyle's used to working for peanuts. I work for peanuts.  Well, that's it for this episode. Please let us know how our movie turned out and also, what should it be called? We hope that you have a wonderful holiday and we'll see you around next time.