Tis the season, everybody, and welcome to Hold Up, the show where we dive deep inside your childhood nostalgia, pull the movies from your past out to see if they Hold up. In this holiday season, I'm holed up with two joyous individuals themselves, Andrew and Kyle. So joyous today. What do you have to be so thankful and joyous for?

All the sleep that I got last night. You got no sleep last night. Just feeling so rested and Healthy and alive. You can hear it in my voice too. Yeah. I mean this is how you usually sound so I'm not gonna lie  it's not too much different than a regular Andrew encounter. Yeah, but you don't know how I feel So I think I have a pretty good idea of how you feel.

You don't. I tell you how you feel all the time Yeah, we voided that contract months ago, so you don't have, you don't have the right to tell me how I feel anymore. There was never a notary present in general to avoid that transaction. There was a lawyer and , that was enough.

, speaking of transactions, , we're doing jingle all the way to open up the hold up holiday season. How's everyone feeling about that one? , do you want me to give it away right now? No, don't. Give it away, give it away, give it away now! Yeah! Wow, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yeah, what a They're such a cool band.

So, Kyle, before we get started, I wanna know, please describe your energy level as a Christmas decoration. Oh, as a decoration? I'm really challenging you here.  I guess holiday decoration didn't have to be christmas.

No, we're gonna say christmas because like they're the most annoying. So  all decorations for christmas are annoying. So this is gonna be very tough but   I'd say today i'm like inedible gingerbread house kind of level like You You know, it's very existence.

You would think you can eat it and make a treat out of it, but you shouldn't eat it. And you can't eat it because there's probably cat hair on it or something. And it was put together by a toddler. And even the ones that look nice, what do you do when you're done with them? You just fucking throw them out.

It's a fucking waste of time. . If you like building gingerbread houses, go do your taxes. Go do something more useful with your time. It's fucking dumb. So, are you saying that you are that of a gingerbread? You're only gonna be around for a short period of time and then just gonna be thrown away and forgotten about?

Yeah, that's everybody's existence. We're all raised into the same red light. That's what I thought. I just wanted to hear that from you.  I do love gumdrops though chase 

Do you like them really like hard and inedible though? Like once you suck on the ones that have set on a gingerbread house all in december Like up through like early march and you're getting ready to throw it away in january. No, no early march. Why? Oh, I never know. I mean, I know some people that literally like no No, no way Until March like certain like Christmas decorations sat around the house.

Yes, I get some Chris I don't get it, but I I could know that but like gingerbread houses until March No, maybe February, but seriously there. I know a couple people that you know, it happened. I'm not gonna name. Is it Gretchen? You should name names. You should name names No, no. Yeah, you should because the hate, the FBI is listening right now and they need to know these people.

I love these people and I'm not gonna out them. Are they your parents? No, they're not my parents. Though my parents would do something similar, they wouldn't leave a fucking gingerbread house out. They wouldn't even have a gingerbread house. My parents are not that uncouth, okay? So kyle, let's start with you What do you remember about jingle all the way from your childhood  and keep in mind everyone who's listening kyle hates You Holiday movies. I really I loathe Christmas movies  it's just  I like Christmas.

Let me be very clear. I like the idea of Christmas  I do not like the commercialization and the capitalism that goes along with it and this movie Personifies that like to a t. It's not a bad movie  by any means. . It is not a good movie either. 

, but I will say like Christmas movies in general, not my favorite genre. They're just very like.  And we all gather around and look at the North Star at the end of the night, and we all realize we're a family, like. Yeah, remember like I like the Charles Dickens version of Christmas where like people are fucking dying and shit and  Like you have to have good world goodwill towards men Otherwise, you'll starve to death kind of shit.

Like I enjoy that. I like a christmas story a christmas carol christmas carol Not a christmas story. Thank you for christmas story. I like a christmas story. I feel like that is a solid It is a solid one, but is your favorite christmas vacation it is Yeah,  because  it's just like The misery of the holidays with the glimpse and fleeting niceties that happen here and there  that like I'm like, yeah that tracks Yeah, because like I remember just traveling all the time during fucking holidays and going to somebody's house I didn't want you to be there and like just fucking like So much snow.

 Did you watch jingle all the ways again? I watched it  Like once but I honestly dude when we re watched this I was like, I didn't remember that happened Didn't remember that happened. I remember turbo man turbo man turbo. I remember that I remember like How cool arnold schwarzenegger looked in that I was like, that's pretty cool but  Aside from that the premise of the movie , I remember that he was trying to get a toy didn't realize that it was because he was just the worst father in the world, but , Yeah, like I don't remember I didn't see it in theaters , it was a later 90s movie, , and I think that,  like, when I watched it as a kid, the only thing I gleaned from it was like, I want that action figure , which I should tell you everything you need to know about like Yeah.

The fun children , and Christmas. The fun fact is they did release 200,000 of these. Yeah,  I remember that. And they were gonna print more. They just didn't have enough time to market it to kids before the holidays, because most holiday films in the nineties and even today are just, we're gonna film 'em in February  and pump 'em out before the holiday season starts. 

And that's the whole goal is to get them in into theaters before thanksgiving or around the thanksgiving time this movie Was the same it was filmed really quickly and then shoved out there So they weren't able to market their turbo man action figure and they only released a limited run. So if you have a turbo man Action figure out there.

It's probably worth a lot of money Yeah, I would say hang on to that or sell it or and andrew. What about you? Did you have a turbo man action figure? I didn't but  I mean my main takeaway from the memory banks is that action figure and thinking oh, that's cool Oh, yeah, I liked it because I was around that age.

I don't think I saw this In 97 or whenever it came out. I think I probably watched it later a couple years 2000 2001 Rerun like on TV, , like ABC family like or AMC or like whatever one of those like Christmas like marathon like month long marathons Yeah, I remember watching it. I remember him being a really shitty dad  I didn't realize how shitty it was until we rewatched it the other day.

Yeah that really yeah,  you realize real quick how Horrible of a father he really is but that's a common  theme with I feel like a number of christmas movies from this decade. Yeah, honestly we could I could probably name a few i'll name i'm not gonna name the one because we're gonna I think we're gonna review it Here down the line, but like he he wasn't a great santa claus.

I mean, he wasn't a great dad in that Yeah, and then he's kind of perceived as some sort of christmas changes there No, he's gonna go back to work, , january 3rd and go back to sales and it's gonna  Be a repeat pattern  I love this movie as a kid. This was my favorite holiday movie.

Wow. , me and my brother watched this one all the time.  I would watch this over  Christmas Story. , and Christmas Vacation came along when I got a little older and my parents let me watch that one and then that became our household hit. But for a while it was just Jingle All The Way.  I wasn't a big fan of Christmas movies. I'd watch a few every year.   I was obsessed with the Turbo Man action figure. And how cool arnold schwarzenegger looked in it and also like phil hartman cracked me up as a kid 

I didn't realize that was him  Until the rewatch. Yeah,  and this was the last movie released while he was still alive shit. No way When did he die? Eight or 98 I think You'll have to check me on that. All right, let's look that up.  He was gone soon after this one.  He has a stellar performance in this.

He's really yes,  I remember phil hartman was a huge hit in the household too And so we all  anything phil hartman was in we were gonna watch died of may of 98 So not far off because this was shot in february of 98 right or no, no february 97. Yeah You Okay.  Yeah. Wow. , but last movie to release while he was still alive.

  Obviously this movie has kind of a cult following,, for some Christmas fans. I think a lot of people who grew up in the nineties remember watching this. This was peak Arnold Schwarzenegger too.  He was working on a planet of the apes. At the time. Huh? They were doing a Planet of the Apes sequel and Arnold Schwarzenegger was set to star in it and they kept  Just pushing it back and delaying the project enough and that allowed Arnold Schwarzenegger to take this role Does anyone want to guess how much he got paid for this role?

Uh,   we'll get into the budget later with Andrew,  I have no idea, but I know this is the same year as Batman and Robin, so he was raking in the cash. Raking it in. I'm gonna say, off the bat, twenty five to thirty million dollars. Okay, Andrew, you wanna take a guess?  I was gonna say,  I don't wanna say fifty million, that's way, way too much. 

I'll say like,  15 to 20 million. It was 20 million. Exactly. So you both are right there in that range. That's so much fucking money for a movie. Especially in 97 too. Yeah. That's gotta be at least like 40 million today or something like that. That's crazy. Keep that in mind because I already know what the budget is.

I know how much this made.  so Arnold demands a big payday.  We got to talk a little bit about Sinbad too. An accomplished comedian accomplished comedian at the time Kids these days would never know who sinbad is and I don't think many people from the 90s They probably have to like scratch their brain.

The only reason I know who sinbad is because of a norm mcdonald joke  I don't remember what it was.  He was a brief time in the late 90s. He was a pretty good stand up comedian   Some of his improv doesn't age very well, like it's not really that funny anymore, but He reminds me of that, , what's his name, , Iglesias, what's his, uh, his first name?

Uh, Gabriel. Gabriel Iglesias. Yeah. They're like in the same vein, honestly. He came a little bit before Gabriel, but he, I know Sinbad was in, he wasn't in a lot of movies, was he? I don't, Sinbad had his own spinoff movies that he did by that were like Sinbad does this or does that and he's a couple like Disney movies I think but that was it wasn't really much more than that  I think this was his biggest role if I'm not mistaken, uh, he might have had one bigger blockbuster.

He was in Coneheads Okay, he was a good burger. Yeah, that tracks the other ones. I don't even think they're worth mentioning. So Coneheads as well worth mentioning for sure Um,   Sinbad thought he messed up the audition here. , he wasn't even their first choice. Does anyone want to Take a guess at chris tucker. It was not chris tucker chris rock. It's not chris rock That was going to be  my second guess.  Will smith Fuck  It makes it,  , this producer, , I think his name is Chris, Chris Columbus, ,  Chris Columbus did Gremlins.

He produced Gremlins and I think he directed Home Alone. Didn't he do Harry Potter? He did the first two Harry Potters, yeah. I was about to say.  He's done a lot of holiday films and really good ones too. I mean, Gremlins, I, we didn't mention this earlier, but Gremlins is my number one, Christmas movie fight me on it.

Well, that's impossible because diehard is number one. I mean diehards are close Maybe we should do gremlins. Maybe we should die hard Um, but they're they're great. They hold up. We already know that there's no need to there's no need to even go down the road with those but   So think about home alone  Joe Pesci.

He wanted Joe Pesci. That's hilarious. To play the mailman in G. Galway. That would have been great. Think about a different movie that would have been. That would have elevated that movie a lot. Honestly. Cause like, no offense to accomplished comedian Sinbad. Sinbad. But, meh.  Greatest, greatest comedian of our time, Sinbad. 

. I hope Sinbad doesn't hear this. I don't think he gives a flying fuck. He probably doesn't. Something tells me he's in jail or something.  Whoa, Chase. Whoa. . I don't know. I think. I doubt. He looks like somebody that commits tax fraud.    But Joe Pesci was the original choice to this, , but Sinbad got the audition, , he had to walk out on the audition because he was traveling with Hillary Clinton.

Oh, wow. Yeah doing it uso. That's impressive Yeah,  doing some tours doing some comedy  thought he more troops who had to listen to hillary fucking clinton. They thought he was Oh my god, like just like just put me on the front line. God damn it ,  So they were on tour but eventually it got delayed enough or he finished that up So they were able to start shooting and they shot this movie really quickly shot it in february shot it on location in minneapolis And  shot some of the other scenes at Universal Studios in Hollywood.

You can tell which ones they do that with. The big parade was done in Hollywood, and it was a hundred degrees outside. Sinbad says, with the greatest comedian of our time, , he said that the water in the helmet, the Dementor helmet, started boiling. I do not believe him. I don't believe him for one second.

That's not possible. Yeah. That's what you'll say. I, well , if the plexiglass that was holding it was magnifying the sunlight, potentially. But like, that's a tough claim for me. I bet it was fuming. I bet , you could see like condensation building up. It has to be condensation.

I doubt it was boiling. It would be very hard for it to boil. It's like magnifying glass, like. And plus, if it was doing that, could you imagine, , he'd die of heat stroke.  Andrew, let's, , let's talk about those juicy, juicy jingle all the way Christmas numbers. I think y'all are gonna be surprised at this. I don't think we are. Mm-Hmm? You don't think so?  , I think it made $250 million.  , alright, so the budget was 60 million.  So they paid Arnold a third of that.

Wait. Fuck me sideways. Go back, Hank. I, I,  they paid him a third of the budget. And this has. Jesus Christ. This has,, Sinbad would have had a payday at this time, um,  Rita Wilson.  Phil Hartman, you mean Arnold? Okay.  My head hurts. An accomplished comedian Sinbad. An accomplished child actor. Jake Lloyd.  , 60 million was the budget.

They gave a third of that to Arnold.  Domestic opening.  We're gonna start small was like 12 million  domestic in total was 60 million International was right at 70 million and then worldwide 130 so all together all together 130.

So it doubled. It's yeah. Yeah, that's good Yeah, it doubled it and then got another, you know extra 10 10 mil on top of that , so it made a decent amount, . Yeah, I mean that would be considered profitable. Yeah, for sure. Be considered mass produced. I was surprised, I actually thought it would be almost like net even or maybe under, but.

Depending on the marketing campaign too and what they spent for that. But I mean, they wouldn't have spent that much on marketing. No, and you said that they tried to push it out pretty fucking quickly. Yeah, they were trying to get it out by holiday season and capitalize on Arnold's, Star power at the time which I think I mean it sounded like  It crushed at the box office at least for what it was going for It was never going to be a heavy hitter at the box office Well, that was one of his last big films aside from the terminator 3 And then it kind of just dropped off from there.

Yeah, he got into politics. Yeah Yeah, because  that was around end of days, right? I think so , yeah, that was like I think that was like 1998 or 99, I think okay Yeah,  I would say peak Arnold is maybe even like late peak Arnold.

 This is Arnold's second visit to the Hold Up podcast. Are we ready to dive in?  Yeah, let's  do it. Let's do it. Let's dive in. Andrew, where do we open up? What do we see? What are we looking at? Oh, shit. What is the opening scene, boys? We're looking at the Terminator himself sitting behind the desk of a  office.

An office? Yeah, with an office party going around. He's a salesman or some sort? I didn't understand the scene. There's a full blown just, Christmas party. Cagger. Like, people are going kind of nuts downstairs. But , Howard is upstairs. He's just working away. He's making calls left and right. You're my number one customer.

You're my number one customer. Don't forget you're my number one customer. And he's selling like carpet, like he's not selling Is that what it is? I thought it was beds. It was like some sort of like It doesn't matter, some kind of fucking upholstery for your home.  It's not That he was way too overjoyed to be selling.

Yeah, like you shouldn't be working that hard with , like upholstery. Also bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Was that, wasn't that Christmas Eve that he was working? It, no. No, no, no. It was the day before Christmas Eve, because it was. Or it was like December 21st. It wasn't exactly specific. 

I send my bullshits then. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. You know, he was, he was burning the midnight oil. I don't know if it makes sense for you to receive a bunch of calls about upholstery , at 9pm 9pm. I don't know if you guys have been up north that late. It gets dark quickly. It gets dark at like.

Five o'clock. It was probably like four, four thirty. He was, it was late afternoon. It's dark as fuck. Cause he, he. I rescind my judgment. Shut the fuck up, Chase. Yeah, you stupid bitch. Talk about shit you know about. Um, but.  , his wife calls and was like, hey, don't forget about, , your son's karate class.

And he's like, Oh shit, I got the gold!  Is that your best Arnold impression? That's his best Arnold. It's so fun. It's probably. It's so fun. It's not one that I've actually worked on, so apologies if it sounds like dog shit from No, I want you to keep on doing it. Yeah, you're going to have to keep working on it during this podcast. 

We'll get there. , but yeah, so he's like being a shitty father. , his son has his purple belt. Karate thingy going. Yeah, he's got a drive through , twin city rush hour to get there which is  I can't imagine probably pretty fucking awful at that time and  that time of year and everything I don't know nothing about that.

I wouldn't I will never know that far north. Minneapolis is a  major metropolitan You know, it's just cute. It's just like atlanta in that sense. Well, they uh, Driving at that time paul area is one of the biggest   Metros in the country, right? Like I think condensed why so  I can believe it. But yeah, it's a big ass city but also That was the extreme traffic.

That was like , Los Angeles on the one kind of traffic right there. Yeah, but it's also a fucking movie, so you're gonna have to suspend reality just a he was a great father, he would have left early enough to be there. . He gets pulled over. Why does he get pulled over? His laundry list of criminal activity begins with this moment. He gets into the fucking emergency lane because he's like, Oh no! Yeah, that was better. Oh God.   He starts speeding through the emergency lane to get to the exits and, , cop pulls him over that same officer.

We see him a number of times. A number of times. Yeah. He was the only one working that week.  The only. At the, , Minneapolis PD. . But he gives him a ticket and,  for driving in the. On the shoulder, because, which is for emergency vehicles. Yeah. If you do that, by the way, which. I know that somebody did that in our way, Erika and I ways home last weekend and it infuriated me and Go fuck yourself.

I hope you get all the tickets in the world that you can't pay off What's so funny is he just thought he was the smartest guy in the world He's like, why is no one driving?  As does everybody that uses the shoulder during rush hour  What do you think  it's not there for you If you seriously think that you're a smart person when you do that You are the dumbest dipshit in the world I love the video  that went viral a couple years ago of the guy I think he was in New York and traffic jam and people were going around him in the emergency lane and he just pulled over there and parked and moved with traffic and didn't allow the assholes to go around and people were getting pissed at him.

. You can't drive in the emergency lane. Good. Yeah. I love that. Some heroes don't wear capes.  That is God's work indeed. But so he gets a ticket and that makes him even more late. So we cut to a, it looks like a gymnasium, just a regular gymnasium in the school and we see a little boy who's Jake Lloyd at the time.

We'll know him later as Anakin Skywalker. Pre Anakin Skywalker.  I'm sure shooting for Star Wars started shortly after. Right at, right after this. Had to. Right after this. And then, so he's, ,  hitting a box to get his purple belt out of it.

Or some plywood or some shit. Doesn't matter, some balsam wood bullshit. Yeah, and then they hand him a purple belt and he's looking around. His dad's not there. He doesn't just look around Chase, he looks to the back door.  Because he knows his dad's gonna be late. Yeah, but like why is that? Why are you looking at the back door?

But we also get introduced to ted before all this. Yeah, so so while he's doing that and looking around for his dad He's not there.  Where he established rita wilson as his mom and next to her is their neighbor Ted. Recently divorced neighbor. ,  played by phil hartman And all the women around him are just kind of gushing gushing because he is the thanks for coming over and helping me Here's some cookies made with love ted.

Cocoa ted. Do you wanna do you want to fix my downstairs?  Do you want to fix my garage? I have a leak. I have a leak downstairs, Ted.  And he like blushes and is like, of course. Oh, thank you. Oh, you're so sweet. Oh gosh.  He's like very charming. Yeah, and he's wearing, , like plaid, like button down jeans, like a Puffy vest, , he's got his, uh, cam recorder out.

 He's,  recording the whole thing for his son that he loves so much. So just an upstanding dude who's sitting there, Did you guys know that, , Phil Hartman wrote on the production notes, he wrote his own backstory to Ted? Oh, that would surprise me. I found the note, and it says, Ted is a guy who sued his employer for headaches caused by toner fumes, and now hangs around the neighborhood and helps all the housewives. 

What a fucking smartass. He says, Ted's another weasel to add to my list of weasels.  . So cute. , Phil Hartman was aware he was typecast. 

He's the best. Phil Hartman , is the best. I miss him so much.  All the fumes go to Ted's head and now he's just really horny.  But you can tell he's Weasley the whole way you can tell it's  all just like really put on and he's filming Basically, he's there filming his son, too. Who's  Jamie which is the characters named Arnold Schwarzenegger son in the movie his best friend and they all live in the same neighborhood.

 Arnold shows up  Probably hours after yeah, like everyone's gone The gym is you know being cleaned up by the janitor and he's just like where is everyone? You know and it's a perplexed bewildered dumbass like no one was in the parking lot either He parked up right next to the door like the emergency lane like parking lane about to get another ticket.

 He goes home In ted's putting lights on his house  He comes home to Ted literally going like look what I did for you.  I got the light set up I like to spread my Christmas cheer. I like to spread my venereal diseases all over your wife, too It's literally what's happening.

 He is both the cuck and is trying to cuck and the crazy part about all this is like Arnold doesn't just like pull him off the roof and beat Because he's Arnold he can do whatever he wants  But he like Just accepts it and walks in and starts chastising his wife about letting Ted put lights on his roof.

And she turns the conversation around about like, well, you missed his karate lesson .  He's trying to make it up to Jamie. They start. Bonding a little bit more Jamie's mad at him at first and he's like, let me make it up to you Let me get you whatever you want for Christmas .  While, and while they're bonding, Jamie's watching this turbo man show.

And so a turbo man, I guess is a good point to introduce it. Turbo man is.  Basically the superhero in this fictional world like the main superhero he's kind of like a cross between like Iron Man and Superman and Power Rangers Yeah, He's super cool got a jetpack and beats the shit out of a Dementor who is a Brainiac clone And then you have his sidekick booster, which is just a big Some fucking disabled like saber toothed cat like it's an ape saber toothed like combo So and booster booster only exists for people to hate him in this fictional world.

There's a very funny part later Yeah, it's actually funny.  Jamie's obsessed with turbo man and that's what he tells his daddy wants He wants this turbo man doll and it's this action figure that's all the rage It looks like it's state of the art at the time and we see a commercial for it at the beginning of the movie , it's just shoved down these kids throats.

All they think about is turbo man turbo man turbo man so that's what he wants and  As they're going to bed that night him and his wife  She reminds him, Hey, did you get the Turbo Man doll? And he was like, what? Of course I got it. Of course I got the Turbo Man doll. And because he's a shitty person, he just keeps lying, just lie after lie after lie.

Do you think I don't listen to you? Of course I got the Turbo Man doll. And then he goes to fucking sleep.  Right before she goes to sleep. And then his eyes go, and he's like, I guess I didn't get the Turbo Man doll, did I? Because she says something to the effect of, they sold out like three weeks ago.

They'll be impossible to find now. , he wakes up the next morning, lies to her and says, he basically says, I'm going to go out and get some more Christmas gifts or whatever. So she's like, oh. And he's like, But fakes like he's going to the office for jamie. He's like dad. You can't go today. It's christmas eve We got to go to that parade turbo man's gonna be there  and so He's like, no, no, i'll make it i'll make it more lives And so he rushes out and  that starts our day.

So he goes to the first toy store I mean andrew who does he meet at the first toy store in line?  Which, there's a massive line in this toy store. There is, and he goes right up to the front of this line. Like, , What, you can't let me in! You can't, look, I know it's one minute, you can't let me go in!

And everybody's like, just shut the fuck up and get in line. Is this when he meets the accomplished comedian Sinbad? The greatest comedian of our time. And greatest, and in this movie, the greatest mailman I've ever seen in my entire life, too. Yeah, the work. Fucking work. I also love, , the mail logo they used.

It wasn't USPS. It was close, though. Some entity. It was close, but you could tell it was a little bit different. No, no, no, it was definitely, but it was supposed to be a generic. It was supposed to be like, we can't use USPS, obviously, so we'll use this. It looks close enough to it. It's supposed to be USPS.

So you meet Sinbad here and Sinbad is a mail carrier. Who's I guess on the day off, but also still working. I never understood. Yeah, we can't figure that out. He's like using his He's on the clock, but like Christmas shopping doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't he's the shittiest mailman All day carrying the letters around with him too is what's baffling to me.

He is just caring Those carelessly care. Well, maybe not carelessly. Maybe he has an intention behind it, which we'll find out later, He's talking to Arnold and talks about his grievances with his son for wanting a turbo man doll and It doesn't sound like he's the best father either  and he starts doing these improv to jokes on they're not good.

They're not good at all Hey guys right now  Not a lot that comes out of his mouth is very fun He was there's one or two lines that are that are actually funny that are incredibly inappropriate   this toy store opens up and everyone's just like throwing each other over tables and trampling each other.

It's just pandemonium. They're like a Toys R Us and they're literally playing like tackle football. It looks , like a 70s bear defense out there. Like everybody's just getting tackled and destroyed. Face masks. Yeah.   They're running around the toy store. They can't find the turbo man dolls. And then they see it sold out and he goes up with Chris Parnell, Chris Parnell, first Chris Parnell film. . That made me laugh. It made me laugh so hard. Because it was vintage Chris Parnell.

The way he laughed was just so, it was, it was like out of, it was a comic book character. They ask him, he's like, where's your Turbo Man dolls? , he just starts doing this wheeze laugh. It was very like Anchorman, Chris Parnell.  We're not doing it justice. Hey Johnny, he wants to know if we have any more Turbo Man dolls left. 

And then he gets, and he grabs both of them by the scruff and he's like, listen to me. Do you have any, where's the Turbo Man doll? And they're like, we don't have any here, mister. You're gonna have to, I think we put one on layaway for this lady. So now begins the real felonies. Like, this is where we start dropping into real crimes.

 He starts running after this lady who has purchased this  action figure from an old woman. And she's probably in her seventies. I don't know if she's that old. She's 71. Late 60s, early 70s. , I would say late 50s,  but anyway.

You're wrong. That's okay. Regardless, and I'm right. Uh, so. And you're wrong.  Arnold runs after her, and he sees the turbo man action figure in her car, and she's driving away. He's like, wait lady, I need that doll. He's like knocking on her window. Like she speeds up, runs through a red line, so he almost gets her killed.

I don't blame her. No, no, not at all. , he's misfired on this one. , and we forgot to mention too, as he was running off after the lady, Sinbad and him get into, a scuffle. Because he's gonna try to steal it, I guess, from her before he He finds, yeah, they both find out at the same time that she has it on layaway, and they've had it in her car, and he goes, I'm gonna fuck you up now, and I'm gonna trip you, and so , they instantly become mortal enemies.

Didn't Sinbad's character ask him to , join his team. Let's team up and try to Mm-Hmm, and Arnold was like, no, I'm not doing that.  . , they were in it for themselves for sure. Which they should be, because apparently there was only one doll of this in the entire city.

, as Arnold watches the car drive away, and he's like, oh man, I missed it, I don't know what I'm going to do now, Sinbad and him meet up again, and now they're getting friendly again.

They don't, they get friendly numerous times, and then become mortal enemies and try to kill each other for an action figure, so it's back and forth a lot.  Then this just random guy runs up and goes, they have Turbo Man dolls at the Ball of America, and he runs and just gets in his car to advance the plot out of nowhere.

Just dropping some exposition, just right in everybody's lap right here. Why the fuck would you, that'd be like, If I was looking for a Lego, and I just went outside, like, next to the mall, and I was just like, Guys!  They have the AT AT Walker at Mall of America! We gotta go now! Like, nobody, everybody would be like, Are you okay?

Shut the fuck up. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a shit. And just jump in your car and drive away. But I guess what they're trying to say is, like, it's such a prolific toy. So. That everybody, everybody knows. Also great writing.  They race each other now to Mall of America,  greatest place in the world and great  truly  they go to this toy store that has this dumb ass like lottery system because they actually have the turbo man dolls but they have  two little buckets of like watery balls.

Yeah. Bouncy balls at this point have got numbers on them with super bounce into it, which we'll get to, , they're going to hand out these balls to everyone. And everyone with a ball has secured an action figure for that day or the chance to get one is what I thought. And  it's fucking chaotic in this store too.

Yeah. It's like packed. There's like hundreds of people maybe. And there's only like maybe 50 balls or something like that. Like maybe in those I'm guessing here, but  like that kind of number  the guy that's making these announcements.

He has  the little toy microphones and  He's like we do have turbo man dolls and everyone starts cheering. He's like everyone shut up. I told you to like Keep your mouth shut and  he's like,  he's like on his last leg, which I would be too in that situation. So people are starting to push forward and trying to grab the balls from the employees and they're handing them and then , they're starting to push them back.

So they just throw the balls in the air to make. What would be a chaotic scene even more chaotic they throw bouncy balls in the air Yeah, and it's like just fucking dumb. It's like dangerous all hell breaks loose over these bouncy balls. It turns into  1997 attitude error WWF in there. It is people are going worse tables  Yeah, sure people get hit with chairs  this is exactly what's happening.

Like it's, it is a free for all. Physical combat. Third world, sorry, developing country kind of bullshit, , the balls go above Arnold's head and all he has to do is just grab one of them with his massive hand. He's fucking six foot four.

There's like 18 of them right in front of his fucking face. And he misses all of them and then they just hit the ground start bouncing and people are just trampling each other and  simbat at one point gets one of them and I remember  as he's running out of the store Away from where he would get the action figure they tackle him And bite his hand so he loses the bouncy ball and it has infinite bounce in it It just keeps bouncing and bouncing and bouncing Which arnold starts chasing and then it falls down at this kid's lap, right? 

 He follows him through the ball pit Like the play place or whatever in mall of america and then the kid eats the ball and then the or he tries But just like just keeps in his mouth And then he gets in the ball pit with this child and then immediately Puts his hand on the child's face to try to get it out which this is one of the more real reactions all the women are like You pervert!

Get off of him! And they start beating the shit out of him with bags. I mean, he could be charged for something there as well. Absolutely. Assault. Add that to his list. Assault in the minor. Yeah, and he's following this kid around in this play place. , he should have been like, arrested.

Absolutely. And they just kind of like, beat him with some purses and tell him, Oh, you can go now. I mean that, welcome to America.  To advance the plot, he's walking by Santa Claus. He's like, I heard you were looking for a Turbo Man doll. And then this is where we realize it's, ,  James Belushi.

James Belushi. James Belushi. Playing Santa Claus. Not his first role as Santa Claus either. , but he tells him, Hey, I know where you can get a turbo man doll. Being really shady and  so his, , , Elf henchman over there.

 Was that the guy from bad santa? Yeah, I think i'm pretty sure Vern troyer's in the film too. He just went uncredited.  They tell him he can get a turbo man. It's very seedy, right kyle Like it's kind of like it's a fucking weird operation So he is dumb enough to follow these guys let him in their car in his car And they take him to some fucking like warehouse that's got like it's all fenced up and it looks awful Run down and shit and they go inside and it's like Santa's workshop and there's a whole slew of Santas 

, and they all spoke like they were from like Brooklyn and stuff like that. Yeah. They were all like, yeah, what do you got?

You want a turbo doll? We got that for you here. So, uh, why don't you come over here, get it's $300. He's like, $300,  $300. And he is like, yeah, it's fucking, like, this is like supply and demand. Let's fucking go. My guy, he doesn't, he's not understanding like the gravity of the situation that he's in. He is in a black market.

Right here that is like it's kitted up because like oh, it's funny because it's all santa claus This is the mob. This is the mafia. Yeah, this is  counterfeit toy He's gonna get a fucking bullet to the back of the head Like he's he has no street smarts whatsoever.  Break a candy cane off and stab him in the like earlobe  this is where the one of the more egregious felonies happens because what happens chase at this point You   he grabs the turbo man from him after paying the three hundred dollars and  he's suspicious enough but not suspicious enough to just throw his money away.

It's wrapped right? It's wrapped So he unwraps it and it's like turbo man is breaking and falling apart and speaking spanish It's a foreign language. Yeah,  It's obviously a counterfeit and he's trying to get his money back and then They try to beat the shit out of him so  a bunch of santa surround him and then it's a Arnold gets into a christmas day fisticuff little scuffle  he can take a lot of them.

He can take a lot. He did and they then and then  who shows up a seven foot tall santa shows up, which is played by paul white also known as big show big show   He's being attacked and then he knocks him into a telephone pole with a can Big ass candy cane that we were talking about earlier and then all hell breaks loose there because the cops show up right Kyle Yep, and this is where our felony occurs  Everything else is like you could maybe argue your way out of it But this is bad because he he the police come in and they'd not just the police the FBI   of all federal entities to fuck with and And  So it's kind of on them because they're kind of bad, but like it's local police and FBI and they come in, they bust, he falls on the ground with a police officer right behind him like, Get on the ground!

And he, there's what's in front of him, Andrew,  but a fucking giant  bin of like fake police badges that he takes and he goes, I can't believe this. This is, this has got to be the worst drug bust, the most laziest drug bust I've ever seen in my life. And he hands, he quickly shows the badge and pulls it away.

He's like, I'm out of here. So he impersonated the fucking police.  Exactly, it's on them, right? Let me see that. He's like, I've been working on this drug bust for years. You come in here, you blow all of my work. And they're like,  Yeah, I'm so sorry about that, sir. And he's like, I'm out of here. Don't even ask me.

for his name. Nothing. But they busted it. So like, isn't that the, the root goal there? I guess so. But like. And he is also, he is kind of dressed undercover too. He is. He looks like a narc. Yeah. So it was. Very quick thinking. Very ballsy. Yeah. Very gutsy. Very ballsy. Fucking doll.  Instead of just hanging around and being questioned or interviewed by, because at least an officer would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we, we gotta get your, you know, your report on what happened here.

He just walks out, he just leaves and drives off car, runs outta gas on the, the interstate. , Andrew, me and you mentioned this last night, he's like, fucking walks his car like a mile. And so, which is like a, what, what was It was like a Silverado or whatever? No, that was a, a Chevy. Chevy Suburban. They were like Tahoe or something.

It was a Suburban. It was not a Tahoe. It was a Chevy Suburban. It's a fucking, it's essentially a truck that they made an SUV. It's massive. And it's massive. And he's walking that car from the interstate all the way to like inner city to this like diner where he meets up with Sinbad. Good old Sinbad. 

Greatest comedian of our time.  Sinbad and him are kind of like in this truce now. They're like talking, they have some dumb exposition about like, this is why.  Yeah, because my dad never got me that. So I want to have that, that, that gun thing. It's actually not bad. .  Character work at that point  it's probably the best Character writing of the whole movie and it just sucks It's like condensed into like that and it's just  forced and that's very forced as most things with his character but the background is like Arnold talks about like building a treehouse with Jamie and  spending time in that treehouse and  Sinbad's talking about a bb gun that he  Christmas story,  bb gun that he didn't get from his dad and it kind of made him into an alcoholic and then arnold sees  Really sad now.

He sees, , jake lloyd Drinking  what looked like turpentine,  but drinking, , drinking whiskey and say, here's to you, dad. And he's drinking and he's dressed as the mailman. He's dressed as Sinbad. So he can see the vision of his, cause he's not going to get his son, this turbo man, all this, his life is going to crumble in front of him.

If he doesn't get him this one thing, if he doesn't buy him. This material thing then he's failed christmas is christmas is over. That's what christmas is ruined Must have gift must give gift and so and while they're doing this they hear on the radio Radio voice that sounds just like phil hartman , it wasn't though it wasn't though but like because at first we were all like our ears perked a little bit but  the host says if you can answer the sans  12 reindeer and call us and be like the sixth caller or whatever, you know, this is the old 90s You're getting a turbo man.

We got 10 to give out or something stupid like that. So  we have a turbo man So now all of a sudden  , the exposition we got is thrown out the window because it doesn't matter at this point. Now they're pitted against themselves. Yeah, because now they go right back to what they were doing. And Sinbad does not know the answer, but Arnold's like, he's like, he knows the 12 reindeers.

Say it Kyle. Say it. Say, say the, I don't remember. Reindeer names in Arnold's voice. I don't know.  What are the reindeer names? Donner, Dasher, Prince, or Vixen. Donner, Dasher,  Cupid, Vixen. I don't know. I don't know what they are. I'd have to look them up.  I don't fucking, who knows all, if you, by the way, if you're listening to this and you know all the reindeer names, say them out loud right now as fast as you can.

Do it now.  I'll wait. We're waiting.  See, you couldn't do it. We knew you couldn't do it. , so, they're racing over, , to the phone, and Sinbad pulls the cord out so they can't call now. Yeah, he just, he fucks everybody over. They just destroy that phone booth. He putins himself. He's like, if I can't have it, nobody can.

, the phone is out now and the owner of the cafe just who was just watching them destroy his cafe goes Hey guys, the radio station's right down the street. But he says it with like more cheer. He's like, hey, hey the radio station is just two blocks down the road It's like why aren't you getting pissed that they're literally having a fight in your diner?

They pulled your phone out broke the phone booth and were fighting on tables and breaking you still want to help them Yeah, and they're the only two in there. So, you know, he's not making money that day and so   they run off after the fight The radio station and arnold's obviously in better shape than sinbad who saw that coming So arnold's out running  sinbad sinbad.

This is where the letters come in He starts throwing letters at him to like try to even his way down He has a lot of letters in his mailbag But he's not delivering all different colors all different sizes and they're just going all over the streets of minneapolis  and he's and it's a stupid gag because he's removing letters to make himself lighter so he can run faster That's not how it works You should just take the whole fucking bag off or you should have thought about that three years ago And started getting to a different running routine He was working on his comedy which worked out for him because he's the greatest comedian of our time accomplished  comedian  they rushed over to the radio station and one of the funniest actually funniest moments of the movie Arnold,  goes up and there's no security guard or anything.

This is a radio. This is pre 2001 friend There's not a lot of anything. So  the radio host is just back there in the booth just by himself, by himself. And Arnold can't  get the door open. He's like, let me in. I know the answer. I know the answer. And the  guy's like freaking out. He's obviously, cause he's got this big burly man beaten on the door.

And so , he like calls security or police and he's like, Hey, I've got a madman in my studio. And so Arnold just kicks the door over and it just shatters the window. Another felony. Another felony which leads us to How many are we up to this is three three now three felonies already in counting. So he kicks the door open And he's like yelling the answer to this guy.

He's he's yelling off all the raider names Dasher dancer prince of vixen comet cupid donna blitzen. Yeah, he's yelling I got it. I got it, right? I got it, right? So I win. Where's the where's the doll? Where's the doll? He says Well, I don't have the doll Here and then sinbad shows up who was close behind and he comes in and he's like And, he pulls out a package and says, this is a bomb, so , now we've gone from felony to domestic terrorism immediately.

Just like immediately, bomb threat. , he played all of his cards in one go.  He's a little more desperate it seems. Yeah, , I see you're breaking and entering and I'll raise you. And clearly this wasn't a bomb. And I think they, they figure that out because Arnold takes it and opens it or something like that.

Well, it throws up. He throws it. That's what it is. It gets thrown in the air and lands on the ground , and it just kind of starts going up because it's a music box. So here's how it plays. So Arnold opens it up. So it's a fake bomb  and And then that's when the the radio host is like this is just a misunderstanding Just like the cafe owner just like instantly got laughs and goes.

I don't have a turbo man I have a gift certificate here And then when the stores get a turbo man back in shelves, you'll have the chance to purchase one  in february So the arnold grabs a certificate and starts heading out And then that's when the police show up and we see the same police officer, and, the whole group of police  are around Sinbad and Arnold, their hands are up in the air, they're gunning.

Mostly around Sinbad, but , the cop that we're talking about has Arnold cornered. Right. Because he knows him, he knows him. Because he knows this guy, he's the repeat offender from the same day, by the it's like, 20 cops. Yeah. Like they come out from both sides of the elevator. Yeah. And the same dramatic.

It looks like the same cop from the bust earlier. So this is where we get one of those lines in the movie that is incredibly inappropriate. And  I mean, I'll let you guys judge. It's not up for us as we'll give it to you, but  he's one of the police officers pins Sinbad on the ground. And what is, what does anybody remember what Sinbad says?

No, but you say it. I think, I think this happened at the mall of America. I don't know.  But anyway, we'll, we'll, we'll throw the line here regardless if it's at the mall of America or in this scene. I think it is at the mall of America, but he gets pinned down both in both situations, but he is starting to,  Sinbad starts yelling Rodney King, Rodney King.

God dammit, and we're what, three years removed from this? Yeah. Three years? Yeah. So they, they pushed that joke in there in the time of relevancy, I guess. We'll let you guys judge it. Does it hold up? Let us know in the comments. Yeah, , I feel like if you did the equivalent to that now, you would just get eviscerated.

And I'm pretty sure it was Mall of America because it was so chaotic that I kind of zoned out and missed it. Cause I think that Sinbad was standing. Yeah. At this point  and then what does he do next andrew? Well, we're there in the bay of elevators and he pulls out another little present from his mailbag and he's like hey I've got a bomb And all the cops  he goes round two on the bottom.

It's a bigger box. It's it's it's bigger It's you know, it's a christmas present. It's a christmas present. It's wrapped. You don't know what's in it and the cops are like  Oh god What are we going to do? And then, you know. Arnold just takes off running. . Arnold just kind of like creeps up and then bolts out of the room.

And then our main cop, he's like, Ah, let me see this. Let me inspect it. And as he's doing that, Sinbad's like, don't move. I'll send it off. I don't know. I don't even know. He didn't even know anything. He didn't he just kind of goes into the elevator and disappears and disappears and they just kind of cop stand They're just looking at each other and then the main cop that we've seen he's like I was in the bomb squad years ago I know what i'm doing.

This is just we've been bamboozled and he picks up the package opens it and then what happens We see arnold walking outside and we just hear a  And we can see in the upper part of the skyscraper because the shot is over arnold's Like we see a massive like explosion. Yeah, like you shook the glass of the you're thinking like this person is going to be Completely torn apart eviscerated. 

We're talking about all those people are dead. They're all dead. Yeah, we flash back  To to that the elevator bay and  they're all still alive But, but their hats are blown off, their faces are torched, their skin's black, you know. Well, it's only that one guy, that's what it is. Sorry, it was just that one guy, the rest of the cops were fine.

They were totally fine, and then it looks like all they did was just throw soot on him, and his hands are black. It was very Looney Tunes, it was very Bugs Bunny. But also domestic terrorism once again, and legitimately. Correct, an attempted murder of a police So and then at this point Arnold is felony evading at this point.

Yeah, so like this is number four or five for him Sinbad just added a major one to his docket. Not just one but multiple felonies. Yeah, like with that one action He's just completely fucked himself over. So at this point we're doing it's like, you know Two people who are committing around the same crimes, but one of them is rich and white The other one's a poor working black man.

So let's see how this pans out I think we all know where this is going. Yep,  arnold goes back home because he needs to get back in time for the party Parade  he's also just defeated at this point. He's running out of options. His car has also been just Put on cinder blocks. His doors have been taken off everything off.

This poor suburban is done spray painted it it is Is done so he's lost his car. This has been an expensive day for him  at first he calls home. Yeah, and he has a little argument with Jamie. Yeah, and Jamie's like you're the worst dad ever You never keep your promises. So they get into this huge fight.

Even before that he talks to Ted in his house like cooking Like ted is being a creep all day and like eating his wife's cookies. Yeah Yeah, it's like do you want me to go get her and he's like no so  ted is just hanging around His wife all day just lurking like at some point.

She's just she is even off putted by this The kids are playing they Are listening to carolers outside. So arnold shows up at his home and sees   Ted's Christmas tree in the, in the window of his house, his next door neighbor, and remembers that Ted earlier said, Oh, I got Jamie a turbo man three weeks ago, nestled safely under the tree.

Nestled safely under our Christmas tree. So Arnold's like, I'll show him, , I'll break into your home and steal some stuff. And potentially set your home on fire. So now we're getting to felony number six. And seven, probably.  Arson too. Arson. Eight, nine, ten. So Arnold, Arnold breaks into the house, , grabs the turbo man doll from under the tree and somehow, I can't remember how, he knocks like one of the, like one of the three wise men's heads off into the fireplace, which is also very irresponsible home ownership from fucking, what's his face?

From Ted. Ted. From Ted. Like you're just leaving your fucking fire going. And you're just outside unattended you're at another neighbor's house like so he deserved it He definitely and so  arnold kicks the head around right and like it catches the carpet on fire. Yeah, and then he just keeps like Spreading the fire into the house So now the house is on fire and he doesn't want to do that So he starts trying to put the fire out and then  He kind of chalks it up as a lost cause I think he puts some of it out in the carpet And he's like, all right, i'm just gonna walk out.

He walks out the back door and then ted's fucking Reindeer that he purchased for the kids and and right at this point too. He has a realization It's like i'm stealing from a kid now. Yeah, like what have I done? Yeah, my felony list should stop here. So  he goes to put the turbo man back and that's when all Chaos break the reindeers in the back and he opens the back door to go back in and it follows Your kid a reindeer.

Yeah, like we haven't talked about that. So yeah, we have he just bought his I guess rented or bought his son A large a big game animal. Well,  it was for the neighborhood to be fair It was just you know to usher in who's taking care of it. Who knows what a fucking reindeer eats  what are you feeding this animal?

So and how how long is he watching this right? Like it's just tied up. It is tied up like a dog in the back and it's like it's a reindeer this thing this thing was gonna gore these children easily  and he's like struggling with it early and he  just fucking dumb like No, like Christmas spirit should stop somewhere.

It should stop with your dad buying you a full grown.  I don't know if it was full grown. It was close. It was huge. It was, it was, it was large. It was huge enough to rip through Ted's house, which was an awesome. That's another reason he shouldn't have bought it because it gets into the house and , just destroys everything.

 Ted and Liz go over and they catch Arnold holding the turbo man because he for whatever reason would not set it down if he just thrown away and Said hey, I saw the fire and I jumped in to see if I could put it out He could have he lied his way out of so many situations a lot easier But this one we have to have a whole moment with though chase So he realizes how bad of a dad he is.

He's a bad dad just how bad of a person Yeah, he is as well. Well, he's going in Prison for a long time so easily he's definitely going to prison at the end of this movie.  He gets caught in the act they , liz and ted he's like we're going to the parade or whatever and they leave him alone And then the reindeer runs in and arnold just because he's arnold schwarzenegger punches the reindeer in the face Sit the fuck out.

This falls over. Just absolutely one of those Mike Tyson uppercuts , in the heyday and knocks this reindeer out. And then the, him and the reindeer share a beer together.  Ugh. Uh, so.  It kills the reindeer, basically. So this reindeer just gets taken from its home. That's another felony. Another felony, like animal abuse.

We didn't chalk that one up, did we?  So, and then he's just like, I'm going to go to the parade. I'm going to try to get back with my family.  And then it cuts to the parade. It's a massive one, too. It looks like Macy's Day. Yeah, because I think Minneapolis has a big parade for their city. That's dumb. And to wrap this part up, they show up at the parade. 

And  Ted is putting on the moves now, , he saw what happened back there. He thinks a divorce is imminent. He, she, he's ready to go. So he drops the kids off with some other friends in the parade line. He goes to park with, , Liz. Rita, and he's just like I've got some eggnog right here non alcoholic eggnog.

 It'll make you feel that a giant thermos He has under his seat. 42 ounce thermos full of eggnog  And then he's just like starts pouring it for and he's like massaging her like shoulder like you you're going through a lot right now I understand. Busy. And then she eventually  Like  he's trying to kiss her at this point and that's when arnold shows up at the parade and all this and sees it and As he's watching this unfold they These like crew members grab him says oh, are you the guy  you're here and they start pushing him away Take him backstage wherever that is So he misses the part where liz punches the eggnog into ted's face just absolutely crushing his glasses And gets eggnog all over isn't eggnog.

Just spiced milk. , it's whipped eggs and milk  Essentially like egg whites. It's it's very polarizing drink. It's nasty. My dad liked it a lot Well, that's because his alcoholic and he had to put up with you for the holidays. Yeah, that would make a lot of sense That's why a lot of parents like it It's the one thing that they can hold on to during the holidays when their patients are breaking You know nothing like lactose and fucking green alcohol get me through the holidays I think I was gonna say eggnog and bourbon actually tastes really good.

It really does. It's not it's not a bad mixture. So Yeah, whatever But anyways, if you're around your family this holiday season, let us know what you like to drink so you can cope.  But anyways, Arnold, , is taken, not hostage by , these tech people, but he's thrown into, you know, the scenes of backstage.

And the funniest part of this movie. The funniest line. So the guys like, they're putting him in this suit and you can't really tell, you can, you can kind of guess what it is. I mean, Turbo Man's supposed to be at this parade, , so they're getting him ready. There's these characters around him and they're like giving him all these like commands and stuff because they've obviously got the wrong guy because they don't ID check anyone in the city.

No. ,  they're telling him, , about Peter. Is it Peter? I think so. They're like, thanks for filling in for Peter on such short notice. Just to let you know, it was just an accident. And by the way, Peter has regained lots of, what does it say? He says he's regained some brain function. So that's good. 

So clearly something horrible happened to Peter. like, that was probably like the point of the movie there. I was like, this was worth watching this movie because of that line. It was very funny. That dude nailed that. He did. That little monologue. He crushed that. It's fucking hilarious because he is talking a mile a minute.

It's like so it's on your back You got like two two sticks here you got the safety switch and he's like going through these lines and like arnold's eyes are just like  Yeah, he's just like and he's just like  let me just say what happened then was just purely an accident  And well, you'll be glad to know that peter did show some form of brain function this morning  So that's good.

So that's good. That's how he finishes it. Like, give him some positive news before he goes out. So what it is, is Arnold is dressed as Turbo Man.  Which I guess he is built like that. So they were like, oh he's a stuntman,  so he's our actor for the Minneapolis  Christmas Parade. Our Minneapolis Turbo Man. 

I didn't see them take any of his clothes off. So he's wearing that skin tight suit with all those clothes. They did. No, they did. Yeah, because they stripped him down to his boxers. Yeah. No, I didn't see you miss They were just really quick cuts.  They didn't spend a lot of time in it , and then we cut to  his little you know,  Actor, , friend.

What's, what's the, um, the sidekick of Turbo Man? What's the, uh Booster. The actor who's in Booster's costume has , the head off. He's just sitting there and he's Smokin a cigarette. Smokin a cigarette. He's like, Hey! Where you been, man? I've been sweatin like a Chinese Christmas in this thing! No, he's like, no, he's like, He was like, where you been at?

I'm sweating like a dog in a Chinese restaurant. He says Chinese Christmas is what he said. I swear that's what it was, but I think he said dog in a Chinese restaurant. Yeah, he said it's a dog in a Chinese, , Chinese restaurant. Well, whatever. Fuck you both.  So he, ,  So, he delivers that one of a kind line.

Yeah, that was a very like, roll your eyes moment, but it was funny because it was just so Off the wall. Unaware. Yeah. And racist. Yeah, so he, uh, they show up on the parade and now they're, they're in the middle of the parade. Arnold's turbo man, he's waving to the crowd,  they're kind of mentioning to him, Hey, Dementor's gonna come try to attack you.

And then we see  the guy playing Dementor, smoking a cigarette on a rooftop, waiting for his cue. . He gets choked out by some tinsel, which is some real James Bond shit, SimBad, the greatest comedian of our generation. Domestic terrorist of our time. , he's taken out, and they're lettin Arnold know.

It's like, hey, you gotta pick a kid to give the,  this action figure to. , like a limited edition. It was a limited edition, , action figure. Special edition. Special edition turbo man doll. So they want to hand that off to a kid. , pick a kid in the audience, pick a kid in the audience.

And of course he finds Jamie in the audience and he's trying to point to him. But, , Ted's son is like, no, he's pointing to me. He's pointing to me.  He gets the microphone to work and says jamie outline. He's like, he knows my name And so they just let this kid run Onto the street with these moving floats and walk up this float unattended And so turbo man can give him The doll so arnold gives him the action figure and he's like, how do you know my name?

He's like, well, i'm your and then at that point Sinbad's dementor shows up. Oh, jesus christ still not still the toy Which the child was holding so therefore stealing the child  Felony  He also Beat the shit out of the actor who was playing. Yeah, another felony Like beat the fucking piss out of them on the roof.

This is a crime spree at this.  It's very comical at this point that we watched this as kids and thought that  All these people are normal, this is what happens. Yeah, this is what happens in minneapolis  Should commit massive felonies to get their son a christmas toy.  So now they're duking it out and And basically, Jamie has the toy in his backpack and he's  climbing up the side of this building like Spider Man and it's a really tall building.

It's like three or four stories, it's pretty tall. And then he gets to the top and he's climbing this, like, Christmas tree decoration, which makes it even further. That had to be another story or two. Easily. Way up there. , It was not safe. And what has Arnold learned to use at this point, Kyle?

Oh, he uses his jetpack now. He understands how to use his jetpack. Yeah, and I'm just curious, , what was the city of Minneapolis's budget for this costume?  I mean Fourteen billion dollars. Clearly! , yeah, he has , a fully functional jet pack  before the military does, , and , he can travel with it.

Yeah. He goes up into the stratosphere at one point. It's not for show. Yeah. It's, and he doesn't know he's zipping around all the place. At one point he hits a building, should have broke his neck or folded in like an accordion. Oh no. So many times that like just the physics again, obviously are not going to be making any sense.

And he should have also. My biggest thing is like not the department of just or not the not the department of energy not like, you know Some defense contractor not lockheed martin not raytheon but a children's toy actor  gets to put a fucking state of the art jet pack that militaries don't have access to On his back and fly the fuck around get fucking wrecked.

Go shoot yourself. It's pretty cool when you think about it, though Shoot yourself in the foot pretty cool for those kids that were watching, you know, it was worth it I will say as a 90s kid. I thought this was pretty cool. I thought I of course sure as a kid I love this whole parade scene The imagination in it.

I mean,  there's no imagination now as an adult like yeah I was gonna say we're not kids anymore though. This is me like mirroring it. This is not there's nothing Imaginatory about it at all.  It's pretty  But  in just to sum it up, ,  it's a lot of action where there, but there's no action at the same time.

It's point A to point B and you know, what's going to happen. Most of it is just Arnold trying to figure out how to use the jet pack or this whole fight scene. Yeah. Or the disc. And eventually he's able to knock,  you know, Sinbad off the roof and he falls.  10 stories into a bunch of boxes.

Conveniently placed boxes that are just there to break his fall. Great writing. And he has the, he, yeah, I know, right? A little lazy writing. And so he has the action figure and he's like, I won, I won. And then the police just show up. Same police officer  points the gun at him  and Jamie's up on top and he falls and Arnold's able to somehow manage in two minutes to use his jet pack and saves him.

Also, one thing. All the while, all this shit is happening where they're actually, like, fighting each other. The people in the parade are like, oh wow,  this is great entertainment. They're believing it They think this is scripted half the time Yeah,  and even Rita Wilson just mails it in you can tell she was done at this point She was like that's my kid up there and the cop goes what's great actor and he's like, he's not a And runs away like no frantic in her voice at all  So arnold catches him saves him sets him down and then we get the big reveal right andrew.

Yeah,  jake lloyd or whatever is thanking turbo man now do  you know what I don't want to ruin this moment So you explain it because my brain is mush at this point and I wanted to come across crystal clear to our many audience members   All right, well i'm here's where we turn our audience brains into mush so , he obviously Arnold has a, I don't want to break any news here.

He's got a very particular voice. Yes, Arnold has an accent. You heard it here first, hold up. Like or subscribe.  He has an accent that's, not many people in Minneapolis are going to run around with, , I don't think anyway, I don't know, I've never been there. But. At least his family should be able to recognize it.

They don't recognize him talking to them. Which is so fucking mind boggling. And they can see his fucking face. Like he's got like a hat on. It's not a disguise. No, you can see like the lower 65 percent of his face is visible. Eyes all the way down. His fucking buck teeth. Yeah, and he's just like He's , I had a fight with dad.

I wish dad could have been here. And he's like, well, your dad loves you very much.  And and Liz is like, how do you know that? , she's like getting turned on a little bit, I think. And then he, , he says, well, Jamie. I am your father and like  Star Wars is like a little bit like We have to push that reference in there and they're like, holy shit It was you the entire time and i'm just now realizing it.

Whoa You had this planned you thought this out and then as they're talking Sin bad and greatest comedian of our time.  Very accomplished is being transported to Rikers island, , oh,  he's being taken to new york city. Wow There's Quite the track. Yeah. He's from Minneapolis. , , he's being carried off by police and Jamie goes over to him and goes, here, here you go.

Here's the doll for your son. He's like, oh, thanks young man. Thanks. I was like, why did you give him the doll? He's going to prison. This is going to be in an evidence locker. This is not, it's not going to anybody. It's not going to go to his son. That's for sure. And then Arnold's like, what? Why'd you give the toy away? 

It's getting worse as you go through it. That wasn't that bad. Come on, man. It's not that bad    And his son is like why do I need the toy when my dad is turbo man? And they're like he can't keep that suit that jet pack has set this city back  a lot of money,   that's how it ends is you know, his dad turns out to be turbo man and his hero after all  at one point he  I think the cop comes over And he's like we could use a man like you on the force and he turns around and  the cop never says anything but he's like Like you And he's like, hey, sorry about sorry about the bomb the bike coffee The coffee all these circumstances that they keep running into each other.

He actually I think he mentions the bomb I think he says sorry about the bomb, you know, and he's like, why would you so sorry? I'm, sorry.  Is , Good enough to get him off of a 14 felony count. Yeah Absolutely. Yeah, he's going to prison for a long time. So  that's Jingu all the way.

Happy ending, a great father at the end of the day. All he needed to do was just commit 14 felonies, get it out of the system. And, you know, blow thousands and thousands of dollars. Ruin his car, ruin his neighbor's living room, and yeah, happy ending. And he sells what? Carpet or upholstery or something? He ain't gonna make that back that quickly.

 Happy holidays everyone. , Andrew, let's start with you. I don't think any I think I had the  the biggest nostalgia with this one, but i'll start with you too , because I know  neither one of you are tied that Closely or invested closely into it.

What did you think andrew like as a kid to now? ,  When I was a kid, I have a faint memory of it being like a solid Christmas movie. Like one that I remember enjoying watching when I was young, but shit, I hadn't watched it in probably 15 plus years. , maybe even longer. .  When we watched it  on Tuesday night and like when it was over.

I was like, okay.  It's not great Clearly we shit on it quite a bit.  It's easily poke able and There's many moments where you roll your eyes, but there are also quite a few You know qualities to it  that bring it up. There's some Actual funny moments some decent characters.  It's fucking ridiculous, but I didn't hate it I wasn't like, oh, this is a great classic.

Ah,  this is hoisted up in my top ten No, but it's still worth mentioning and I didn't feel like it was a waste of my time by any means  What about you Kyle? Same as Andrew. This is not something that's like  You know gonna you know Shatter the earth and like when you watch it again be like, wow, what have I been missing?

 This is a movie that is not pretending to be more than what it is and There's some respect for that that I have  It's it is there are points that are are funny  Which I will say is very rare  you know to see movies that we watch that like  Still kind of have those funny elements because sometimes the jokes are just stale at this point and like a lot of this movie is stale But it but there were moments where  we actually laughed out loud Yes, and like whether they intended that to happen or not There was one point that we didn't know he glossed over where Booster just gets, like at the end where, oh yeah, he gets knocked over and he is like, he's like, get down Booster.

Nobody likes you. And then he get, and then he gets the kids Just start beating the shit outta that. We hate you Booster. We hate you . That was the best fucking hilarious. I can't believe we forgot to mention that, but yeah, he, , here we are now because he, because he falls off the, , the float, the parade float.

And he's like, and the kids just get out of line, off the barricade. They were, there were like 10 or 12 of them, just like. Pulling, basically pulling his arms off. Yeah. Limb from limb. It was reminiscent of like the middle schoolers and like stepbrothers. Yeah. Word like a freaking dawn of the dead from George Romero.

, but yeah, , , my nostalgia for this runs kind of deep though. , when we were watching this, I do remember,  I would always watch this movie right at Christmas break. Like when Christmas break started,  We would get out of school for like what that two weeks or whatever it is for I can't remember how long we were out but Right at the top of that christmas break.

I would watch this movie So this movie symbolized for me like a freedom of being out of school  and like the wonders of christmas coming up, you know, like gift giving all that stuff Like everything that a child loves around that time. So I did experience a little of that I did remember some of those feelings I had as a kid  Does the movie?

Stand  in that regard like as much as I saw it as a kid No, it's more the circumstances around the movie of watching it at christmas watching it While I'm out of school, that kind of boosted it for me I think at that time, but  it was quick It was an easy watch 90 minutes. I think there's still some funny lines.

 Dare I say I would watch this over a lot of other Holiday movies. Yeah.  I'm with Kyle. I'm not a big holiday movie fan I mean  gremlins and diehard or one and two and you can depending on the day I have my collection that I'll watch yearly, but I don't like to venture out of that.

 This is something that you're going to put on when you have a Christmas party in the background. In the background. And it's going to be a great thing to have on in the background. It's mindless, it's quintessential Christmas, but it's not pretending to be anything it's not and it's just good fun.

Yeah. Yeah. So. I think it's time. Andrew, does this hold up to you? Yeah, , I wouldn't say it's like a full unequivocal 100 percent Yes, but it does hold up. Yeah. Yeah, Kyle. Yep. It does. Yeah,  I'm gonna say I wouldn't went back and forth. I'm gonna say Majority of it holds up. There's some stuff in there that doesn't but  that's the movies we're doing now We're splitting hairs at this point.

Yeah, so like I wouldn't say it's like one of the best we've done in hold up  By any stretch of the imagination, but I think it does hold up I think it's a fun one if you have any nostalgia for this movie like I did It was a fun watch  you're not gonna be that disappointed.

No, it's not a batman and robin It's not a waste of time to watch it.  It's a watch your time. It's a watch It's that there you heard it from us first So now you can start your holiday season with watching jingle all the way  before we get out of here real fast, , let's look at the ratings and rate it ourselves, right?

That's our, that's usually what we do. , Andrew, let's start with you. We used IMDb rating system. If you listen to our IMDb versus Rotten Tomatoes, , , we use IMDb because it's kind of a user score. We're users. We're not critics. So, we don't have a percentage. , Andrew. , I'm gonna give it like a 5. 

9 out of 10. I thought about giving it a 6, an even 6, but I don't want to quite go there. 5. is what I'm doing. Okay. Kyle, I know what it is,  but I'm going to go about,  I'm going to be generous and give it a 5. 5. It's just above being able to be watched without questioning it too much. So 5. 5. Yeah. I don't want to give it an even number.

I was floating between 5. 9 and 6. 1.  , I think 5. 9 is a good score for it. Cool. Well, Kyle, you know what it is. Anybody want to guess? I know what it is, I just looked at it. It's a 5. 7 on IMDB. So we were right on point there.   . Not something you're going to watch all the time, but something to go back to every now and again, which is what we do at Hold Up.

We're talking about does it hold up? We're not talking about how great it is. , that's it, you know the drill by now we reach into your childhood nostalgia pull the movies from the past out  We just pulled jingle all the way out from your Christmas banks of your mind found out it does hold up and we're gonna put that right back And we want you to enjoy it this holiday season If you haven't already follow us on social media so you can find out our next episode Or maybe even pick the episodes we do in the future.

Andrew. Do you know what we're doing next?  Uh, yeah, he doesn't all right So we hope that you have a wonderful start to your holiday season go watch jingo all the way. Where's your christmas spirit? Where's your christmas spirit?