Holed Up

Just a Minute: Kenan & Kel's "Turkey Day"

Chase Barnett, Kyle Gaskin, Andrew Wiemann

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The Holed Up gang looks back at the 1997 Kenan & Kel holiday episode "Turkey Day"

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Hold up just a minute. This is Chase, Kyle, and Andrew bringing you another short episode on the corners of Thanksgiving. Andrew, don't you love TV shows?  I love some, , but not all. Do you love old Nickelodeon shows from the 90s that are forgotten to time? May hit or miss. Okay. Kyle, do you love TV shows that are forgotten to time?

Um,  no. 

That was great. Great response. Well, I asked these questions because we watched Keenan and Kel's Thanksgiving episode from season two, I believe, right? It was season two. 97. Episode two or three. 1997. So we thought we would talk about that today. A lot of Keenan and Kel lovers out there, , from, Our generation anyway  I don't know how I feel about that But it was a show that I loved when I was a kid and growing up watched it all the time Andrew, were you the same?

Yeah, I watched it.   Good burger is a classic, , they were on all that. Yeah, I watched it. It wasn't as Strong as something like I don't know rug rats or like the amanda show, but I yeah, I watched it. I dabbled Kyle, what about you? All I remember is all that because all these kids did the same fucking show and it was SNL for children.

It was fucking It was where it was at. You liked it. I loved all that. It was because all of them together were funny individually  except for keenan keenan thompson is one of the fucking Greatest of all time. Yeah, I and he was the one I Not very many kids that came out of that time like keenan did because I mean with him being on snl now amanda bynes Yeah Have you seen her recently?

Oh, dude, it's really sad. It's very sad. Yeah, like,  Straight drugs, mental illness, like, it is Heartbreaking. Yeah.  And I told myself we weren't gonna go down this road of, like, we can go into the disaster mode of the kids thing. Nah, we don't need to do that. Yeah, we don't need to. We're here, we're here to talk about Thanksgiving Day episodes, so it's hard to even try to open that door.

 It's Thanksgiving, , this episode was popular, , for, I guess a quote in this episode that I remember all the kids used to say, it looks diseased. I remember that a lot. Yeah. , and someone quoted it the other day. And i'm like man we need to do that episode especially around thanksgiving.

Yeah  so we watched it. So we're gonna find out if it holds up today on this mini episode. Andrew open us up Where does keen and kale always take place? , I mean they're on they open up on a stage in an auditorium or theater. It's a theater. It's a soundstage It's a big. Yeah universal studios soundstage.

Sure. They got a big red curtain and they're talking  about Thanksgiving, Cal's eating a peanut butter sandwich and just speaking gibberish, like really bad gibberish. Like he, he ate one bite and never swallowed in this entire opening, so all he does is just mumble and spit food everywhere, and that's the joke.

I mean, to be fair, bread and peanut butter together, that, that does get a little,  tough , to chew and to swallow, but. But what kind of horrific human being are you that like your answer to hunger is. I'm gonna take white bread, like just flimsy wonder bread, and some jif, and just fuckin spread it thick, and not have any jelly in there.

Yeah, I don't know. Not ha and you're not you're also not gonna fucking toast it.  You're gonna have, you're gonna, I'm sorry, you're gonna have to forgive me. Well, if he toasted it, he wouldn't be able to throw it on the camera like he did. Yeah. That was a really dynamic And he wouldn't be able to speak the gibberish, the perfect gibberish.

It was a very dynamic, comedic move though, Andrew. I think you were not realizing how funny that was. Oh, I'm sorry. Can you explain to me what I was missing in the dynamics? Yeah, so he did a gag fall and then threw the sandwich butt with the fucking peanut butter on it that hit the so called camera, which was just a fucking piece of plastic, see through plastic they put in front of the camera because you gotta be fucking kidding me if you Think they actually did that to a camera. 

Uh, oh, wow. That's layered. That's super. It's what I'm saying. Andrew You didn't understand how many layers there were. How could I have missed that?  That gem.  Keep in mind though, this is, a kid's show. It is.  We'll say that many times in the next 15 minutes. Probably. Probably.  Here's one time. It's a kid's show. I understand why kids think this is funny.

I don't really understand why kids think this is funny. I think we were just idiots. Maybe. But the show,  going from there,  the show opens up. A kitchen. They in the kitchen of their Chicago home. Oh, that's they're in Chicago? Yeah, they're supposed to be and I remember that. Yeah, because Kel was wearing a Chicago Bulls hat, right?

Did you not see that? And  they were able to zip and zap all over Chicago in a matter of five minutes But they open up in the home and in the kitchen in the kitchen and Kenan's dad is making this  Amazing looking turkey does look quite it does look good. It's very appetizing. Um, and then kyle made a point though when he goes to  Open the the oven door.

He he touches the inside of the oven  Like he wraps his whole hand around the top of the lip Of that lid to the oven to the cover  and just no problem with it starts pushing it up. But then Kenan and kel surprised him and then that really throws him through a loop So he has to slam his hand into the oven door So he touched the inside of the oven just for the gag of slamming his hand into it when the kids surprise him   Basically the family's coming over for thanksgiving dinner the  whole family I don't even know who.

Cast of characters. Mom, dad, uncle, aunt. Aunt Gertie who has a caterpillar on her face. And they live on this joke.  She has a mustache and Kenan just  basically roast her for five minutes of this episode. A long time. Because of her mustache. Oh, somebody get the weed whacker! Somebody get the hedge clippers! 

And just screaming these jokes, too.  I'll be honest, I tuned out, and I don't even remember like half the insults he slung at her. But like when I saw that, I was just like, Oh,  this must be a gag. This must be like a running like joke that they You know bring on like every other week or something.

So yeah hilarious  he's talking about this and the family hasn't arrived to at the house. So   the parents are going to the hospital, I guess right before all these people arrive Yeah, I missed where they were going cuz somebody puffed up  Did she puff up again? She sure did. You better bet your ass she did. 

What?  One of the elderly family members quote unquote  puffed up again. What does that mean? , they don't expound upon that. They just kind of like, they just kind of let that be. Oh, right on. So I guess somebody just puffed up, you know, as they do.  So, that's where, that's where the parents go.

You could, puffed up could be like a number of things, if we wanted to go down that dark road.  But so the parents leave a 13 to 14 year old boy with his friend, who has very clearly never demonstrated any sort of maturity, or any kind of, or intelligence, either, or And he is somebody that I would never want to leave alone in my house with a child with another child Yeah, , he just he seems very aloof  is too kind a word  He seems like an errant dipshit who just kind of does whatever the fuck he wants to do  But he has some skills.

, Kenan's out there setting the table, getting things ready, and what's Kel doing in the kitchen? He takes off a turkey leg and just starts like chowing down. Well, he just, yeah, he can't fucking help himself so he starts getting little pieces and then he's trying to get a little wiggle room in the leg and then Kel, or Kenan surprises him and he's just fucking, oh, and now I ripped it off.

A physical gag. That's so funny. Hiding it under my shirt. Oh my god. That's hilarious. But then like 30 seconds later, what does he do, but he houses the entire turkey. Like literally in less than a minute, he eats all of it. Super impressive. So I said, that takes some real skill there, but I'm surprised he didn't throw up or, , pass out or something.

Like is this boy not eating anything at his home, which we could get into, which could be a whole sad thing. Again, , it's for children.  It's heightened, but who's going to eat an entire fucking turkey in less than a minute? He just fucking devours the entire turkey. How many pounds do you think that turkey is?

20 some pounds? Maybe 30? That's a big ass turkey. But not only that, but he ate the whole turkey and left all the bones intact.  Yeah, that takes some talent. Like I said, this dude is a savant. He's skilled. It's really hard to debone a turkey or a chicken if you don't know what you're doing. So maybe he actually is smart.

Maybe he's just hustling all of us. Maybe. Probably not. I'm not being serious. I'm not being serious. I'm not being serious. I'm not being  serious. This is just shitty. This kid grew up in a nuclear wasteland. Yeah. He didn't have anything. He didn't have, he had nothing. So. But then, , they're just left with the bones.

So  what do they do? What do they, how do, what's their first like reaction? I don't even remember. So, so the family starts showing up here. And they know. The uncle. The uncle who's just a complete and utter asshole. Like all the I need my turkey now or I'm getting angry. And he, getting out of this dump.

 I would be like, go. Bye. Get the fuck out of here, uncle. , he doesn't say anything to anyone else but I need turkey the whole time. The whole time. This is my friend Kale. Is he a turkey? He's not actually, because turkeys can't fucking talk. You dipshit. You fucking asshole. He's just like the plant from Little Shop of Horrors.

He is  not equipped to be a human. , they  got their little sister down, who has an odd relationship with Kale. What's going on with that?  Can we talk about that real quick? I don't know. So like  she's in love with Kel and he's like entertaining it because there's quite an age difference there of , at least six to, six to ten years.

Probably. Cause what, what is he like? He's like fourteen. Fourteen or fifteen. So she's probably like eight. Eight or nine. Maybe ten. Yeah. It's kinda, it's a little weird. So it's, it's between four and six years.  I really think that like this relationship kind of threw me off to the point where I was like I don't think I enjoy this right now and this is kind of getting into the territory of like batman and robin for me where it's like this is just  there's so many kinks questions that aren't being, are never going to be answered.

And , it's a comedy. Yes, but it's too dumb of a comedy for this to really shock humor. It's, but it's not though. It's not even shock.  It's trying very hard. It's trying to be shock. It's trying to try hard shock humor and with physical quote, like slapstick qualities to it,  but it's not. And it doesn't, it does not track and they're just, it's just Kel.

, I will be honest, Kenan's reactions are fucking hilarious. He actually has decent timing. He can tell that you can, he has talents. He absolutely has talent. Kel, however, is just a moron. But then again, this comes down to like, you know, again, people like, this is what we talk about is how much of this is the actor's fault versus how much of this , is the character.

No, I'm blaming the kids. This is their fault.  , the little sister's keeping the family occupied by, , doing karate lessons or karate tricks or whatever in front of her uncle Raymond or whatever his name was. Yeah, I think so.

Something like that. Raymond or like, yeah, Ray Moss, , Randy Moss, Randy, Randy Moss. , so , they're in the kitchen and their first step was to put deli meat On the bones they were like, oh, we have turkey bones. We just need the turkey meat And they go and open it up and there's like some oscar meyer package like tiny like butting like Like  packages of like lean deli turkey meat and they start like  Like what like putting it on the like folding around the bones and like patting it like oh wait No, no, no, that's not gonna work So then they put in a food processor And this is the point where kell says it looks diseased and I remember that quote In  elementary, I remember every kid saying that from then on out if there was ever a situation where they could use that line  I do remember that being very quotable.

Did you laugh in the moment when you heard him say that? Did you know it kind of it kind of fell on death smack it smack a knee thought it was really hilarious Yeah, we watched kyle watch this. Yeah, we did on his phone He was so enthused right that aspect ratio really Um, but yeah, they put the fucking turkey in the food processor and they like  Grind it into like I guess  like a liquidy.

Yeah, because  they know that they need more surface area of it So  they that's smart. That's smart. Yeah, that is so they make it into this paste because they know that's gonna work Oh, yeah, and it looks disgusting. So they've covered the bones with this processed deli meat  realizing  that's not gonna work.

What's their next step kyle? What idea did they go with next? , now that you're next we're gonna go order a turkey Yeah, they get out the fucking phone book, the yellow page. Yeah. Welcome back. I liked that. Yeah. That was probably my favorite part of this episode was seeing the Yellow Pages, seeing the giant Yellow Pages phone book ,  when they were thumbing through this phone book, they got no response from anybody because guess what 

it's Thanksgiving and people are closed in 97. It is Thanksgiving. There is nothing open even in the vast area of the Chicago inner city. Vast metropolitan. They get a hold of somebody. Who do they get a hold of Andrew? I don't know. It's some fucking, , they don't know either.

They didn't even say. They said, oh, they're open. Let's call them. That's the gag. And that's the other thing is like you can't really see.  The joke doesn't make sense to me if you dig into it at all this kind of gets to the point of the gag which is it's fucking dumb because the whole turkey Like you're looking to the phone book for what for the letter for the word turkey and you just dial a number that Says turkey or didn't didn't he like what are you looking for?

 Cal stopped keen. He was like, ha ha look brazier Yeah, i'm surprised he didn't put his hands down his pants start spanking it real quick, you know He's a 14 year old kid here kyle. So careful. He is  And so and then fast forward and this guy shows up what was his name like it was like Javaris or something.

I was like Jedidiah or it was something like I think it was just jared now It was something kind of country ish. Yeah, I think it was jarvis or it was jarvis. That's exactly what it was jarvis Jarvis and he is like, yeah, I got you turkeys right here Got two of them live turkeys two live turkeys a lot two live turkeys walk in and that's the joke Everybody they were supposed to be cooked, you know dad and he was like, wow, you better get to it boys Yeah, and so  he leaves and now they're like, what are we going to do now at this point?

 Uncle fucking raymond's like walking around the house trying to find turkey  so they're having to usher these turkeys into the actual turkeys Do you think they were trained to handle turkeys on set? They weren't because keaton almost stepped on it And he's like Freak the fuck out turkey abuse.

Yeah, and so  they were getting they got him into a broom closet or like a pantry or something kitchen closet and so  Raymond comes in and you can hear the  And raymond's like man. I'm so hungry. I'm i'm hearing turkeys and it's just  Sly, Raymond, please go have a stroke somewhere. 

And then after that, , they go to the grocery store where Keenan works  and steal two turkeys right in front of his boss, who is getting ready to take his mother out to Lay Meats is the name of , the restaurant that's open for Thanksgiving.  , He mentions he's taking his mom there. They come in and just  steal two turkeys from him and run out and slam the door in his face, break his nose, and get back home.

I'm like, so they just stole turkeys from his place of work?  He could probably get away with it.  They did. Yeah.  So why not? And then they get back to the house and they're like, oh, now we got to cook these things.  Andrew, how long does it take to cook a turkey? Hours.  Hours. And this is specifically eight hours to cook.

, if you do it right, it should be longer because you have to brine it. Right. It's everything. It's a day before process. Right. So what's he do? He gets that thing up on the counter and He reaches up in the cabinet and grabs like a thing of canola oil and just like dumps the entire thing on it Because he couldn't get it into the microwave.

I will say that I did laugh at the absurdity of this scene  he slams it into the microwave thinking he's just gonna heat it up in the microwave and then , Kel opens the cookbook and is like, hmm This is gonna take eight hours? Well, the microwave can only go for two blah blah blah blah , And keenan starts cooking.

He's like even if it does a microwave it says it's gonna take four hours So keenan's like yeah, i'll speed that up So he unplugs the microwave and with the turkey in it and throws it in the  oven Which in what fucking world would that ever?  I mean like it there. So , the thing with comedy is like, there has to be some truth in it.

Truth comedy's the realest thing. It is it like it with the absurdity, we have to still believe and  there's just no world in which you can tell me that. Like unplugging maybe a five or 6-year-old might, maybe, , might believe it. Yeah. He unplugged it and threw it in the oven.

, it would be different if he just like left it plugged in. He didn't just like gently. He placed a microwave, he threw the fucking microwave with the turkey in the oven. Which then leads to what? Oh, an explosion. Not just any explosion, it would have been a nuclear explosion at that point.

I just don't understand how it would explode in the oven, like it doesn't make any sense It would just catch on fire. Maybe. Again. Maybe, but there's nothing, like. We're not dealing with the truth here, Kyle. No, we're not. And at that point, it's just kind of like, they tell the sister to go clean everything up.

Yeah. Cool, while they go and look for another turkey. But like, Uncle Raymond and the aunts and the sister don't even like really question what that massive explosion is in the room directly next door, aka the kitchen,  and, Why? What gets me now is they go to Le Meats, cause , they remembered that, , , Kenan's boss was taking his mom out  for Thanksgiving dinner.

 They've already left the house like twice and this is chicago Like where the fuck are they going and so quick to turn around and come back? Like it's taking them like all of two minutes to go to these destinations and come back so they  Make it out to Lay Meats, and they're like, well, sorry, you have to have a reservation, and it's a hundred and fifty dollar down payment, , because the turkeys have to be cooked the night before.

, there is no thinking going on. This is just, what we're doing right now is just reacting to the situation that we've caused, and there, The situation is, we gotta go, we gotta go steal another turkey now. So they go and steal it from their boss's table. Literally.

Like, go into the restaurant or ask to stop. Throw hot gravy on his ass.  Oh, is that gravy? It throws hot gravy on his crotch. Official assault, and I'm taking your fucking meal? I hope he burned him. Yeah, he did. I'm sure he did. I hope his dick got, like, burned. Second degree burns. And so they steal his turkey and run out as like, well, here's the deal Like I mean as a youngster, you're maybe not gonna realize that it was a fake turkey But like it was clearly like a rubber like plastic turkey from the start and I just I don't know  I couldn't get past that.

It was so it was And Kel puts it under his shirt, too, so he's just like, it's just hanging out. And if it was a real turkey, he wouldn't be able to like, just finesse it that easily. Like, it'd be pretty fucking heavy. We talk about this a little bit. That turkey was probably 40 pounds. That turkey was huge.

, they arrive back home, and he puts it down. He's like, oh. Right before my parents get home, we're perfect. Even though the kitchen's like completely destroyed. Like suttered and like, cluttered with like soot and like, you know, just smoke. The refrigerator's burnt to a, yeah.

, , they get there and kale throws , the Turkey down in the pot and they're like taking a quick break, resting on their laurels. Basically Keenan's sitting in the chair, and then kale does his bit that he does in every episode.

He fucks everything up. Well that, and what does he love? Kyle Orange. Soda.  Who loves orange soda. Yeah.  Loves orange soda. Is it true?  And it's so true that in fact we see it yet again and he the orange soda ruins the whole moment because he Flicks the cap off of it and it gets into the turkey somehow in the hole.

Asshole. And the turkey's cloaca. Or the opening we made into its body and its carcass to shove in fucking something. It's asshole. So he decides at that point  Let's not just play this out and play it cool If somebody asks about it be like I don't know it must have been the dad that did it Gaslight the fuck out of him.

Oh no, there's a bottle cap that fell into the turkey's cloaca. We have to dig it out. Inedible. , when, no, he decides I'm gonna do what I do best and fuck everything up by inserting my entire hand into this turkey that is somehow still alive. Like oven hot and it starts burning his hand to the point where he can't control himself Wouldn't that have burnt when he put it under his shirt?

Like if it the turkey was that hot Yeah, I imagine the internal temperature would be hotter But still the outside would be that hot that it would hurt his bare skin his hands more sensitive than his bear Oh, that is actually that is that is true for sure But  having that pressed against your torso your bare torso for minutes upon minutes, you know You might complain about a burn You  how does his hand get in there and not get out? Is what I'm saying. Well, it gets stuck, though, Chase. And it gets stuck, and I was just You should've put some canola oil in there. Dammit. , Kale freaks out and starts running through the house with this turkey in his hand, knocks The sleeping aunt, further unconscious.

He knocks everything over. Yeah, and he's just destroying the house now. The parents come home for , the coup de grace. They see it, and Kale somehow, I forgot how he did it, but gets a turkey like, off his hand, and it flies across the room and gives his dad CTE.  , that's where we end, is giving the dad a  concussion.

And that, there is no , he was not moving. No, no, no, no. And again They had to go back to the hospital. But , the fucking fact that this kid , is running around set with this, like, fake turkey on, and , you can tell the thing weighs like a pound or two. I'm like, you gotta sell it to me that  this weighs something.

It doesn't, like, he's just waving it around like it's nothing. It's just bad acting. It's just bad acting. It's bad directing. It's just not good. So That's it  the boys run out of the house away from the beating that they're gonna get And then they show back up on stage to Laugh it off! Laugh it off, tell everybody to have a good night.

And then Kel better behave next time, and oh, your parents will get over it in a week, yadda yadda yadda. There was a clever joke in there though, where Kel Oh, enlighten us. Kel was like, ,  I think your parents will get over it. In a week or two and he and kenan was like,  why do you think that and he's like the writers told me And I thought that was actually a pretty decent joke in there.

Oh, that's good It came a little too late, but that's good. And then that's it that wraps up the kenan and kale thanksgiving episode from 1997 right Whatever. ,  It should be buried back into a 1997 time capsule. Well, that kind of gives us a little leeway in, so. And, Andrew, what did you think, , watching Kanan and Kel again?

. Did you feel nostalgic at all? , not really. I feel, like, not affected. One way or the other. Kyle, what do you think? No. It's a big no for me. I thought I was going to feel some nostalgia, and I didn't. Yeah, I will say, I thought that I was going to feel something, some sort of magic from my childhood reappear, but that did not happen.

It ended pretty quickly. It ended once, like, they started doing their stupid ass gags in the kitchen. I'm surprised I remembered as much as I did, if I'm being honest, because I zoned out a little bit. So many times I yeah, I finished it, but luckily these episodes are 20 minutes So maybe you feel some nostalgia when you go back But I think i'm gonna go ahead and speak for everybody as far as this mini episode goes  This show did not hold up  Nope.

Bye  And that's that. Yeah, and that's that. , go watch it for yourself. Catch up on some Kenan and Kel. Or don't. Let us know if you liked it. If you thought it held up. . If you say that this is funny, after all this, I don't want to hear anything else you have to say.

Because you have awful opinions. Your subjective reality is trash. . Do not destroy your dad's turkey for Thanksgiving.  Or do. Bye!

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