Hello, everyone out there in podcast land. Welcome to Hold Up, the show where we dive deep inside your childhood nostalgia, pull the movies from your past out to see if they hold up. Today, I'm hold up in this marvelous room with Andrew and Kyle.  

Hey, what's going on, man? Wow, that was really selfish of you to just take it that time.

Hey, you, you didn't speak up quick enough, so I don't, I shouldn't have I wanted to present myself in a fashionable manner, which 

you didn't do, so. Yeah, but like, you 

should always show deference. Deference? Define deference for me. You should always , be polite and give somebody the option to, , take the lead.

Okay, thank you for that definition. I'll take that into consideration and next time I might consider it. I don't think that's the definition, but I, I don't fucking care because what you did was rude, so. Well, I'm a rude person, hence why I don't have any friends. No, you're a sweet, sweet baby child. You're a sweet, sweet man.

So you're contradicting yourself now? I'm rude, but I'm sweet? Yes. I can't be both. Well, ask a toddler.  I don't know many. 

 On today's show, we get to ask a toddler about many life lessons  but before we write some checks our ass can't cash, um, Kyle, you see what I did there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw. Oh, wow. Kyle, how's the energy level?  The dog shit energy level? Yeah. The dog shit energy level? Yeah. Dog shit, dog piss. I don't, I can't remember what we're on. , it's shit. It's usually shit. But like, you know, when you're watching your 90 pound German shepherd and , he goes over and he's trying to get your attention and he walks into the door and you're like, here go potty.

And he goes  and hunches his back over to fart, but it's not a fart that comes out. It's actual shit that shoots out onto the wall. And that happens for 24 

hours after that every hour. 

Yeah, 

that's what where we're at Hey You know when your friend calls you to go check on your dog because it's sick and you go down to the apartment and you Say that everything is fine.

But then Your friend says no check the living room and you do and there's  like a quart of like diarrhea on the floor That's,  what , I'm getting at right now. You're getting that? Yeah. Yeah. But that happened. It'll happen. It'll happen. 

What they're trying to say, everyone, is  we watched Blank Check this weekend. 

Very, very similar. 

Oh. Very similar. Blank Check, it's, what, 94, right? 1994. A great year. A great year. I was three years old. I was two. At the time. You, Kyle, I think you were also three. Four. Four. Oh, I was probably three. 

Am I really the youngest one in here?  

We've established this already. Wow! Um. What an 

honor. 

What a time blank check was, , I do wish I had a blank check now in my life, but Don't worry, we'll talk about that. We'll talk about that. Let's just jump right in. What, what do we remember about Blank Check as children? 

Literally nothing. Zero.

 You asked us to watch this, I think it was on Saturday, and I was like, why the fuck?  That was literally what I said. I was like, why are we watching this? Why do you want to watch this?  I'd never heard of it until just the other day. Yeah, 

same. Never heard of it. Could have gone my whole life without ever hearing it.

 I don't, I, yeah, , nothing, I had nothing, so.  Do you remember anything? I know you said, Andrew, you did. Absolutely 

not. 

But,  I do remember something specific, so.

We look at nowadays at trailers, right, in theaters. We remember when we had VHS's. For the, a callback to all those people back home. 

Yes. 

I vaguely remember VHS's, but go on, you were fetus.  So during the VHS era, we would have trailers in front of the movies as well. Like, so it'd almost give you that theater experience.

'cause we didn't have this thing called YouTube or the internet. That was fun. Now that 

now you bring that up. Yeah, I did enjoy that. It was good 

fun. And then. You would you'd watch it like 10 years later and be like, oh shit that came out at the same time Yeah, that was a shitty movie, but they made it look really good.

  We didn't know what was coming out to vhs and something a lot of things we missed in theaters is like I grew up In a small town and you didn't get to see everything. So it was cool to see Oh, this is coming to blockbuster in the next couple of months I'm gonna have to snag that when it comes out Otherwise, nobody would have ever known about half of this shit that we're talking half the shit And In that day and age, too, it's kind of sad because VHSs are becoming more of a relic because more VHSs  Were released than  dvds So media is being  lost over time and even less has gone to blu ray and even less is going to the 4k Whatever they're on now  because we're all streaming now, so movies like blank check fall into that crack Maybe blank check should fall in that crack.

I'd probably say there's 

there's there's more to it than what should fall into the The furnace underneath the crack and right 

and and especially like in the 80s and the horror boom You And they started releasing all these horror movies on VHS There's a lot of them that haven't been re released on DVD.

So we're losing art Um, sometimes that's good though To an extent But  I say all that to say that I remember At the time renting some disney movies and always catching the blank check trailer It'd always be like the same in a world where a kid wants more money  He's gonna figure out that some things money can't buy 

you.

I guarantee if I went back and watched some of my old Disney VHS's, which I don't have anymore, I'm sure Blink Check would be on there. Probably. 

Probably. It seemed like one that they would,  whore out onto the trailers of every Disney movie that would come out because they know you wouldn't watch it regardless.

But, it transcended, like, I don't know, do you guys remember, Dunstan checks in and I know everyone talked about airbud. Love Dunstan. Airbud. Airbud's 

great. 

So this was around the time that all those movies that were like kids fantasies like, oh, what would Home Alone? Yeah, Home Alone or a kid like what if a monkey was a Um, Hotel Belmont. 

Or, or we, we had a golden retriever play point guard for our basketball team. For your state high school 

basketball team. I wonder what we'd get the monitor lizard to do on the swim team.  So like we had these like weird fantasy child movies that lived in reality but they weren't real either. Like they kind of lived in this like,  Hyperbolic reality.

 And I remember blank check  falling into that, but I never watched it as a kid.  A lot of my friends saw it. And when we were discussing, like I was telling 'em about this podcast we were doing, they were like, oh, you should do blank check.

And I was like, why? Like you'll see.  Yeah, boy, do we. , it's just a different flavor of Richie Rich. That's really all that's happening. And Home Alone. And Home Alone. Yeah. Very, 

very, very strong Home Alone vibes. Wait, when did  90 was Home Alone, 92 was Home Alone 2. So we've had plenty of Home Alone IP to just dip our nuts 

into.

 They pretty much pulled from that.  And what else did we have? Like, I'm trying to think of any, like, there was that Tim Allen movie with the guy from Remember Indian in the 

Cupboard? That came around. Yeah, that 

was it. I did enjoy that movie as a child. It was fucking sad. I don't remember what happens, but I remember it was sad.

Yeah. Yeah, 

it was sad, but it also It had, it brought shit back. Like, there were definitely some happy moments. There was a good resolution. Wasn't there 

a Darth Vader in that? 

Yeah. Yeah. How 

did they get away with that shit? Mmm.  

I 

don't know. I mean, it was Disney before they owned Marvel, right? I don't even 

think, I don't think that was Disney.

I don't think any of the cover was Disney. Maybe it was 20th Century Fox. I think it was, and that would make sense.  

Yeah, something like that. Um,  But, yeah, I remember all those kid movies coming out, like where kids were able to run amok and kind of like the parents were, um, So stupid. Stupid. They were dumb as 

shit.

Or they would just be like, oh, I don't care what you do, I don't care, and at the end They're like, oh, I wish I spent more time with my kid. Yeah, 

it like was all the same I remember the page master, too I don't, page master was good. Not in the same vein, but you know because it's more animated and really hit the, it has It had both though.

Yeah, I mean for a tiny tiny bit at the beginning, but then yeah  



alright, Andrew. Moving on. Can you tell me a little bit about the numbers? I have a feeling they're going to be A little tiny. Little, little small numbers. 

, do y'all want to guess the budget just for funsies? , 

yeah. A million dollars. Uh, no, no. Uh, I'm gonna say,  under 30 million dollars.

You'd be correct. Okay, but how much under? Mmm, I would say like 10 mil. I was gonna say 15 as my original, but then I was like, it could cost more. 

Guess what? It was 13. Right in between. Ah, there we are. 

 13 million was the budget. Released on February 11th, 1994. Opened up to about 5. 4 million opening week.  It's not bad. It's not awful. 

For a movie like that? No. I mean, not bad. That movie, yeah.  You know that those are like parents being drugged to that movie. Drugged. For sure.

Drugged. 

Drugged.  Domestic Gross, y'all want to throw any numbers out there? Domestic gross? Yeah. All right.  

I think it made its budget back. I think I would say so this is probably why I was so 

He's like  31 million.

Oh, that's good 30. 5 

something and change I'm rounding up and I'm sure they didn't have to advertise that I'm sure that like it hit on Disney Channel or Something like that and that's just domestic 

International and I think it also hit Canada was like 38 million in total. So 

All right, that's pretty good decent.

I mean they made back they doubled what they put into for sure So Disney made money off that for sure. Yeah As Disney knows how to do,  .

Let's jump right in diving. Let's dive right in man. Let's do it  Andrew where do we open this beautiful film out? I honestly don't 

even fucking remember I just don't , I don't know if that's my adhd kicking in or if it's just this movie. It was falling the criminal Oh, yeah, the criminal it was like a rainy night.

Oh, yes 

downpour, but we've like it's like  Immediately into the action, which, props, right into the action. Right into 

the action.  He goes into some , like warehouse, pulls out a welding gun. 

And , who is this person, Andrew? What does he look like? 

He kind of looks like Kevin Spacey.

That's what I thought it was at first. Did you 

notice he looks like, I'm not sure if this is the same guy, I didn't bother to look this up, but he looked like the guy I From Godzilla. Me and Andrew watched the first half of this together and I think it was like the, the mayor's crony in Godzilla. And then we find later on the, the guy that played the mayor.

So I was like, do they just like tag team?  And these roles together except this time they were kind of roles reversed like 

The actor that played him. He's dead by the way, so R. I. P. 

R. I. P  

I'm looking at he was in Robocop Rubber cop? Yes. Bob Morton. Yeah, 

he was he was in Robocop. There's a lot of good callback mid early 90s late 80s stuff R.

I. P though Yeah, R. I. P. R. I. P in peace. I think he died Robocop. 

Yep.  

I'm not seeing Godzilla on there.  

 He's found a, he finds a welding kit. But we've kind of skipped over a part. He's, he's wearing an orange jumpsuit with the handcuffs split. Oh, that's, that's right he is. So he's an escaped inmate.

, just casually. In some random warehouse. He's escaped the prison, and he's  trying to,  Find like I guess this hash or something like that stash of something but then he goes over to this little manhole Tries to get it open with his hands doesn't work. So he just Turns to his right and there's a plasma torch sitting right there plasma 

torch. 

Though he tried to do it with his hands. I was like he just he planned this really well Yeah, he just has the boat knows how to use it as well This is clearly what we're going to come to find out white collar criminals some great writing  Intuitive writing. Yeah, and then he pulls out a briefcase full of looks like 20, 000 Maybe like a small.

We did the math. We did the math. There were like six rows or like six Uh, I don't know what do you even call those things? Stacks. Stacks. Stacks on stacks, baby. Six stacks of 10, 000 And we estimated that the briefcase was, what, 

three layers deep of that? Yeah, four hundred and twenty thousand dollars. 480, 

or was it 420?

 It wasn't a million dollars. 

It seems like it's just incredible amount of money and thinking it's 1994. So that is 

quite a bit It's quite 

a 

bit, but it's still in 1994. That's still not like you think about how many billionaires I'm, sure there were billionaires back then but like how prevalent was the concept of billion dollars true at that point in time true So a million is quite a bit, 

but it definitely that briefcase did not hold a million dollars.

No, no fucking way But I mean four hundred and twenty thousand dollars. Let's just say 420 blaze it baby. Let's go 

YOLO 

420, baby. If our estimation is true, that's still a good chunk of change, but 



That'd roughly double it from then to now, so Are you kidding me?

2. 1 million dollars. Wow. In today's money. Oh, 

goodness. 

Now we get, I guess, introduced to the kid, right?  Isn't that , what's next? I don't know. This, this movie doesn't really have much of a plot line. Aren't they 

in their home or something like that?

They're up in the bedroom. , the two brothers are starting a business. And it's like, and 

the two brothers are maybe 

15, exactly. That's what it says on Wikipedia at least, so I'm going off that. 

And then the kid, our main character, His name's Preston. And his dad is like a money hungry piece of shit.  He is very, very conscious about his money, because wasn't he giving him some kind of lecture?

Yeah, he was like, your brothers are starting their own business, when are you gonna start your own business? Yeah, when are you 

gonna make your own money, you eleven year old swine? 

When I was your age, I was working as a shoeshine, and I was also working in the meat plants, where my friend of 42 years got killed.

You should have seen my 

portfolio in kindergarten. You would have died for it. You're like, fuck off. You know? 

Asshole. Yeah. He, he literally was lecturing his son about not having a job at 11 years old, in, which is illegal, in, in 94 still. I bet that he doesn't let his son listen over to Upton St. Clair.

Preston probably had to go to therapy later on down the line because of what his dad put him through. 

Preston probably put a lot of people through therapy also at the same time. I don't, I don't want to, I 

don't want to fault Preston too much. I like the guy. He might be the lone thing that I like about this movie.

We do establish that this family is very money hungry business, like They don't even look that rich, it's like suburban household, it's supposed to take place in Indiana, but it was shot, what, in Texas?

It was shot in 

Texas It was shot in Texas, Dallas, Austin, and San Antonio but took place in Indiana. , 

I guess in Indiana, a million dollars would take you a long way there, but Well, you'd be surprised.  Coming up on the kid's birthday and he ends up celebrating another kid's birthday and he's going to like, what, six Flags or something?

Something. It was 

some fun park. I don't remember the name. I feel bad because I should know the name. I just read it a second ago, but it was like Funland or something. It was literally like, so something like that. But it was, uh, filmed at Six Flag Siesta or Fi, no Fiesta, not Siesta Fiesta. Six Flags Fiesta.

This movie really made me want a Siesta  , , in Texas. And his dad gives him like, what? Like. Seven dollars. Yeah, seven dollars to get like tokens 

on this. So he's going to  his I I'm using air quotes here his friend's birthday party, but everyone's just an asshole to just to him. What's his friend's name?

Herbert or something like that like butch or something butch. It was butch something  He's such a prick he's an asshole, ,   so we, we show up at Six Flags, , Preston can't afford to go on any of the rides because it's one of those Because his dad gave him 

7 Yeah, 

30.

It's like one of those, , cash grab parts where  You go in with your price of admission, and that's not enough to cover rides. That's the best though. You gotta get tokens. You gotta get tokens. That's the best though. So you can't afford to do tokens, so all the kids are riding on these like thrill rides and Preston's eating cotton candy and riding for whatever reason this like a merry go round.

While he's 

dressed in  pleated like trouser shorts and like a nice button down. He looked like a doofus too. Yeah, he looked like 

he he's like Living in a war torn country just like the best I have. Wow. I'm so unlucky to live in America Yeah, he's like he was so depressed and then he gets a check after that written to him by his grandfather Grandmother.

Grandmother. Grandmother. His grandmother writes him a check after he gets back from the theme park. And it's, it's a, what, a blank check? It's a blank check. It's a blank check. And he's like, something's wrong. Grandmother didn't give me any money. This day can't get any worse. And he's like, oh, she just forgot to fill it in.

A blank check. What's his dad write on there? What's the amount? Eleven, eleven dollars. Eleven dollars. Yeah, eleven dollars. But he like, she's like, oh, she signed it though. So all you gotta do is just fill it in. So. This will come back later.  So he fills it in for 11. The kid goes and tries to open a savings account at a bank with 11.

And this is where we meet Shea. Shea. Yes, one of the Bank teller. One of the best characters of This whole escapade that we've cut up.  At first she seems harmless.  She. 

Her, her intentions might've been harmless. 

Yeah. So she's, she meets Preston and she's being really nice to him. He's kind of smitten with her because he's a kid and she's an attractive woman.

35. 36  

year old woman. 54 year old woman. Yeah.   She's like, Oh, I'm sorry. I can't open a bank. I can't open a savings account for you. Cause you have to have at least 200. Okay. Which crushes Preston because he can't put his 11 account to earn interest on it. Reminds him of how poor he is. Yeah, how worthless he is.



While Preston's talking to the teller. Uh, the convict is in there.

Talking to Mr. Biederman. Mr. Biederman. Mr. Biederman. Who was the mayor of Godzilla, correct? I think he was. Yes, he was. And he 

was the owner of Greenway Press and Elf. And Elf. , 

yeah. 

Asshole. Actually a great movie. 

Yeah. Actually a 

great 

movie. Yeah. I think he's kind of a good guy now. I think, I think everybody's kind of He's coming our way.

So, he's, and he's like this 

Insinuated that these two had history in courts and he might have like ratted them out or something like that. So now he owes him a favor to launder that a million dollars. Right. 

So he throws the million dollars down. He's like, Hey, I need these exchanged because apparently they're marked.

So if he starts spending, so he's marked bills. Yeah. That's a way to track bills that have been stolen from a bank. Just, People do that? Yes. How, 

 How they mark them in the movie though? Do they do it like that? I don't know how they mark them in the movie. 

We get to the point where he's now trying to exchange that money for a billion dollars of unmarked bills. So. He's 

gonna launder that shit. Yeah, 

he's gonna launder that shit. He looks at the teller and says, I'm gonna have a guy come in.

His 

name's 

Juice. He'll be here. And as soon as he's One 

o'clock, 24 hours. He'll 

be here one o'clock tomorrow with a blank check of mine. And what you're gonna do, is you're gonna give him a million dollars in cash, or, so help me God, I'll come back here, and It's a Disney movie, so, I'll come back here, and that's about it.

There was like, empty threats, and then, so as, so this is where the convict and Preston  pass Verge, because as he's leaving after threatening Biederman, and Preston's leaving after not getting his money put into a savings account, So, um, And having the check stolen from 

Butch. And having, and so he, he's got a little bike race, they're Right.

They're weaving through the parking lot,  being not very smart. And, our convict,  he gets in his car, starts it, and what does he do? He  Backs right into Preston and runs over his bike. They 

have a whole altercation. A whole altercation. At first the guys, the convict's not gonna do anything about it.

And then there's a crowd of people starting to be like, Oh my god, are you okay? You should sue. And what 

does Butch do? Butch actually was , important in this. Butch actually, he helped. He has vodka 

on his breath, officer. Yeah, it pressures the convict to, you Try to pay, he's like, I'll pay for your bike, I'll pay for your bike. Pulls out a 

checkbook. 

Pulls out a checkbook, starts writing it, and then 

cops. Cops turn around in the corner, and his eyes get big, bug like, and he's like,  Here, take this check,  your dad will know what to do with it, and it's a blank.

Blank check. So that's 

it. So that's our setup for the rest of the movie. The rest. Nothing really happens after that. , he, uh, ironically goes back  to his home, And,  he knows how to use a computer  He's computer savvy.

Tech savvy, yeah, for a kid. And gets the check, , authorized, and puts  a million dollars on it. He decides he's gonna add a million dollars to his check, which happens to be the exact amount that's in the bank for this guy who's trying to launder this money. So,  like, we're, we're loony. What are the odds here, folks?

 He goes to the bank the next day, exactly at the same time that Juice is gonna show up, and beat him in the dumbest. Bank teller I've ever fucking seen in my life. 

I 

mean to be fair. It was  believable If I was if I was beaterman, I would have potentially thought that this was Juice, i'm glad you don't work at pnc.

Yeah, i'm glad i'm not a bank a banker 

He mistakes this kid as a hitman convict looking for like laundered money And he was like, oh, this is good. This is good. Yeah, cops will never know this is gonna 

happen. And he stuffs a million dollars in a kid's backpack.  A kid's small backpack. 

And he's like, yeah, and the kid leaves.

Leaves. And so Preston now has his million dollars of laundered money. And then Juice shows up not even 30 seconds later. He's like, where's the money? He's like, 

oh, you see what happened was, I thought Juice was, I thought it was that kid. I thought like Juice and, oh, you're Juice. Oh my God.  

So, hijinks ensues there.

 They all get together. The banker,  Juice and, um, Convict, I, we haven't even established his name, it doesn't matter. Quigley. Quigley. 

His name is Quigley. 

They all get together and like, we gotta find this kid. You fucked up, but we gotta find this kid. And, you know, in any, like, Martin Scorsese movie, they would just, like, execute this kid.

They would've killed him. They'd murder him in, like, broad daylight. Yes. 

 Because it's a Disney movie, like, they have to run around, like, the three stooges.  , Preston goes and gets the cash and immediately buys a house that Quigley is trying to put an offer on. Irony. Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly home.

It's a castle. It's 

actually a Texas 

National Landmark, so watch your mouth. Ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly. Yeah, I mean I was like,  That, that's what he's going for and I was like, there's no way that house is gonna be, like, that house is gonna like, run him a lot of money. 

What was it, 300, 000 or 330, 000 or something 

like that?

Well it started though, they started a bidding war and it started at 150, 000 so he hiked up the price by two. Thanks to his 

mother who spoke over the phone.  I don't even remember what she said. She said something like 300. And then 

Preston, but he's using a computer to do the voice and he calls himself Macintosh and that's where he gets in trouble.

And what's 

the inspiration for Macintosh? 

Because it's the  computer he's using. An 

Apple? Apple Macintosh. Apple Macintosh? What? Wow. Clever. I love it. I couldn't have thought of that myself.  

After he buys a house, 300, 000 plus closing costs. That's a 

third.

That's a third of what he has. Yeah. 

Yeah, so he's already spent a third. And I'm looking at Andrew at this point. I'm like,  this money's not gonna last more than 38 hours. This is a prime example of why you shouldn't trust children with money. Ever. Or give out student loans to 18 year olds. 

  So, at that point, he gets his house, and then he starts spending.

The money, like, it's fucking going out of like, he spends it on 

like, On stupid shit, 

like, like a 

go kart, like, 

racing track. And clothes that he doesn't even, they're just laying down clothes. Like, giant 

TV where it's like, actually, like, 18 TVs stacked into one. That is 

the most nine, mid 90s things I've ever experienced.

Uh, you know, a big 

inflatable, like, boxing ring. 



That, and that, and then he, , buys a bunch of, like, servants, basically. So he buys,  a limo driver that, Yeah, Henry! Henry! Henry who gave me wanna be Chris Farley. Gave me weird vibes, though. Gave me very, yeah, he was creepy. He was. He was. Very creepy.

Very creepy.  This is the first instance we run into this movie where they're  Henry who is thinking, he's hired by Macintosh. Not this kid and this kid, everyone just assumes this kid is Macintosh's personal a.  Who's handling the money and organizing all this stuff, but no one, no one even questions this.

They're just like, oh yeah, can I speak to Macintosh? He's like, he's busy. He's like, all right, all right. So you got the payment, right? And like, uh, where should we, should we, should we meet up now? Like, what about the organization?  And the kid's like, doesn't have any answer to any of it. Here's ten 

thousand dollars.

Yeah, he just throws money at people. No red flags there. 

And 

Henry just hangs out with this kid all day because he doesn't have any friends,  a significant other, or family at all. . And that's the part that gets at me a lot there, because he's like a 35, 40 year old man just hanging out with this 11 year old and like, Playing with him in an inflatable and tell him about like how he should look for a date Like you got to have a nice Bob Henry Henry had like right now you look like a Greek God to an 11 year old said that.

Yeah It's a little bit creepy about 

style 

Yle style, baby, and  so at the first part of this movie, I don't know if you guys agree. It was fun  Like it was it was started off. Okay, it started off. It's like a fun like yeah I mean I can be in that headspace of a kid's movie This is a kid's fantasy because I mean what kid doesn't fantasize about having a whole bunch of money that they can just blow on whatever They're all friend.

That's 25 years. Yeah. 

Yeah  We all dream about yeah,  I can live in that world but then once it gets to the point where the adults are treating him like he's an adult it gets weird fast and it gets worse, but so Henry is like his go to man now like they're best friends. They're bros They're buds 

Very off putting,  and next thing , we see is the kid is now in pursuit of the teller, Shay. Shay, who he meets at the beginning, and he's just smitten with. Smitten hard, and Shay is, is, she's not doing the whole  At first I thought her character was gonna be like, Oh, you're a kid, this is cute.

This is adorable. I'll play along. She 

kept wanting to meet Mr. McIntosh. Yeah, she 

was like, I want to meet Mr. McIntosh. She's like  Oh, it's a date, then. Let's go out to eat. And she hangs out with this kid. And at first, again, it still comes off as , Harmless, she thinks she's gonna meet this Macintosh character But then she goes on this huge and like long night with the kid with Preston.

They dress up really nice They go to a nice restaurant Some fun things happen. They get caught in a fountain together and  

weird 

romantic shit 

Yeah, very serious Like Harry Met Sally kind of stuff. Like they go to the fancy dinner, the fancy dinner doesn't work out. Do you like hamburgers? I love hamburgers.

Yeah, and then they go to a fast food restaurant and eat hamburgers together. But again, there's a 25 year age difference. And probably more than that. Probably. But then, yeah. And it just, it doesn't, it doesn't start moving in the right way. It just feels like kind of, you know. Forced and very not well thought out and a little and she she like looks at him like in these endearing eyes And she was just like I haven't had this much fun in a very long time And like weird romantic, 

and your, your butthole kind of clinches and you're like, what am I watching my whole 

body 

clench?

Who wrote this? 

 To flip it upside down too, if Preston was a a girl and Shea was a man,  it'd be worse. It'd be a lot. It be way worse. And we would've red flagged it. But because it, they, the way women are seen and written about in this movie, because again. This was written by a man.

Was it? No, no, no, no, no, I don't think so. No, I don't think so at all. I think it was written by a whale pretending to be a dog pretending to be a man.  Probably. A bank teller pretending to be a man pretending to be a whale.  But. Yeah, so it's, it's awfully written. I, a poor actress that had to go through this shit.

I mean. I wouldn't have agreed to that. But I mean, if you're getting paid that much, you might. There you go. You might. He made, I'm 

sure she made probably like 20, 000 to 30, 000 off this movie off the, off the bat. Yeah, bat. Yeah, yeah. And so she, so she's really laying it on thick with him. , and it's like getting very uncomfortable, and then the night ends fortunately.

Thank God. Uh,  did you see like where he bought like , a fucking trash can full of ice cream? Ice cream. Yes. That made, that stressed me the fuck out. That was weird. I didn't want that at all. Wait, where is he? Does Baskin Robbins hold 1994 specials where they do everything?

No, I think, I think Henry provided that. . That trash can was like white and it was already disgusting looking. It was very beat up. Ugh,  that was awful.

I really did not enjoy that part.  Shows up again later too. Yeah, so I, while we're at this point, so we're at the crescendo of the movie where now the convicts have found the kid, they're running to try to catch him. They, they have a really fun, uh, fun 

chase scene through the park. It was silly, just, just silly.

Driving cars through volleyball courts. Preston, 

Preston even drops the backpack in this chase scene  as the convicts are  Narrowing down on him and he drops the backpack and this guy just picks it up and pulls 10 grand out And then preston takes the bag. I'm like there goes another 10 grand.

 That leads me to a point like if you were a kid And you were just given a million dollars What would you spend it on?  I would have no idea because I would have no idea the cost of anything but like You Groceries or like give me give me an age and 

I could probably get 11 11 video games legos video games 

legos TVs like A fun watch that I couldn't like I don't know.

 Something dumb off of  the delta magazine that you get in the airplane Yeah, I would I mean I would see it on there's just a bunch of electronics Yeah electronics and stuff like that video games,  I wouldn't think about buying a house. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't even know how to process I thought you just you get one Right.

So the million dollars would have lasted us a lot longer I mean preston's buying home  he's refurbishing this old castle to have a pool but again this again  This is an adult's fantasy about what a kid's fantasy would be. Yeah. This is not a child's fantasy whatsoever. Yeah, because 

they didn't do their research.

No. 

I would've given the money to my parents and been like, Hey, buy me tickets.  I would have 

given the money to my parents. I would have like fest like hey, I came into a million dollars Help me do something with yeah, 

and then your parents would go.

Oh, yeah, and then they put chloroform over your mouth I'm gonna sleep Andrew and then like 

Andrew just stopped showing up to school and I'm like, it's okay He's living with his aunt in Greece  My aunt actually does live in Greece. So funny  

Chris Farley went to school    

I don't, I think it would take me so long to spend a million dollars and this kid blows it in a matter of seconds. Like a week. Literally a week. Yeah, buying a house, like how did he sign the Hey, all he did was call in and  

get put on speakerphone and have a, you know, uh. 

And that's, that's where I keep going, I keep going back to it.

Financial fight. I know I'm harping on the house. But,  this kid bought a house without, like, over the phone. 

I mean, I will say, that's not, it's far fetched, but if you're like, If you're six or seven years old, it's not that far fetched to you, like, you wouldn't question it that much. We question it because we don't see the logic in it, but if you're young, , a person who's , this film was geared towards, you wouldn't question that.

Yeah, but you wouldn't even in back in those days they would make movies a little bit more logical because they knew the parents had to go see it because kids movies back in our day were a little like I mean obviously you have a 11 year old dating a 38 year old in this movie so like you have like heavy hitting subject matter because you you had the parents there like I feel like  I don't want to sound like my parents here but like I feel like the world is like a little softer like where we have to like Tone down kids shows and kids movies to avoid big subject matter, but like back then like  I mean, Air Bud had like, violence against dogs.

Like, it definitely, it was so That stupid fucking clown. Yeah. That fucking prick. Great actor, though. Great actor. Really great actor. What a prick. Yeah. Well, he got what he deserved in Jurassic Park 3. Um, and, and I guess back to it. Um, it, like, we established we would not spend a million dollars that quick.

But Preston's like, blowing through it, and even losing 10, 000 in the park, I was like,  This kid, this kid's in, in for it, but. He's stressing me out. So, and at this time he keeps getting away from the criminals and Preston is starting to realize money can't buy you happiness. That's starting to settle in.

He has no friends.  Never had friends to begin with. He's disconnected with his family. I don't know what he's doing. I don't blame him, his family sucks.  They're awful. They're not great, no. And they don't question, they're like, every time he goes back to his home, he's in a suit, and he's like, where are you going?

I'm working for Macintosh. I was like, yeah, go get him. Can we speak to Macintosh? 

I want to drop something off. No, you 

can't, dad. Oh, no, that makes sense to me. Okay, I'm a great father.  End 

of story with that. That's, that's the dad's like arch. But I think we can speed this up because there's really not much that happens.

Really not. He has, he decides to throw a big birthday bash for Macintosh. But it's actually for himself. It's for himself. 

You 

know, this is 

when I lose my mind too because Literally the the was that a party planner? Yes. He hired a party planner He hired a party planner and her down payment was what ten thousand ten thousand dollars and i'll collect the other half after the party 20, 000 for a party planner in what world And what were I I don't think party planners now would be 20 000.

I mean you depends on what who your clientele in indiana  Yeah, you're right aim at that girl at party city She's like at most like two grand 

that party planner is debbie. Allen the woman who played as debbie allen who's You know, not like a famous actress, but she's been in some shit. She was in Grey's Anatomy for like 15 years.

Oh, no shit. Yeah, she was a big character in Grey's Anatomy. Well, I'll be damned.  Gretchen knew her. That's how, that's how I made the connection there. So Gretchen had to watch this too? Yes, she watched the ending with me.  

He's trying to throw this big bash, and all these people show up for Macintosh, and they're there for Macintosh, and Preston's like, Oh, they're not here for me?

 He has that conversation with Henry about what a gold digger is too. And they equate it back to Shea. 

Yeah. Like, she's, like, Shea's a gold digger. She, she's just here for the money. So like, now they're like bashing this poor woman that they've written into like this horrible corner.



Looks like a decent party. Yeah, you get a little band on stage. A decent 

party? That looks like a party the Beatles would have thrown in the 60s.

Some  

like huge lighting everywhere, like dj, like a lot of like some fun little tents 

in the backyard. Yeah, like 

catered. There's a bunch of staff there working the party. Great 

music. 

Yeah. A lot of liquor.  A lot of liquor for an 11-year-old,  the party planner comes to him and it is like, Hey, it's time for my payment, which I'm like, no, you gotta finish the party first.

For real. Usually payment doesn't come immediately. You have to wait.  Like, you got your down payment. Like, you can wait a week.  She's like, I want my money, I want to see Mr. McIntosh. And then he finds out that the party cost 100, 000. 100, 000. 

, after he finds that 

out, he goes through his budget and realizes he's blown all the money and only has like 300. While 

his dad is standing in the doorway thinking he's McIntosh in the chair. Spilling his guts out about how he misses his son and whatnot. He's become way too 

focused on money.

Yes. Did you think? 

He's having his denouement, his epiphany. Yeah. His dad is, which hits Preston to the core. Yeah. And , then he looks on the screen and he sees that he doesn't have any money left. And then things start to just unravel. Yeah, so 

Preston's like, oh shit, I've spent all the money. I can't afford this party that I've thrown.

All these people are gonna be upset. Uh, so he's trying to figure out a way to weasel it out of it. But the whole time he's like, she didn't show up. She didn't show up. Where's 

Shay? 

Where's Shay? And then Shay shows up. Where did, where did she show up 

from? She comes out of a van. 

Yeah.

Because she's an FBI agent undercover. It's 

revealed at this point, but it's been hinted at the whole time in the movie. That's why I was like, at the beginning, I was like, gonna give it some leeway. Because I think she, she's looking for the money that's been laundered the whole time. She just happens to work for the bank as undercover.

Yeah. And I thought, like, that was gonna be the case as she's just, oh, she's only Following Preston because he knows the money which I was like great. This is okay. This is at least something that's not creepy 

It's somewhat  But it doesn't stop it doesn't 

stop her from saying some really creepy things.

She's always like oh, I'm having the time of my life. Oh my god, Preston like hope like puts it I think she put her hand on his like thigh at one point and that's like a kid when my like eyelids Rolled into the back of my head  And I was like, I couldn't take it anymore.

I had a small stroke. Grandma's here. Yeah, I bet you 

did. But she shows up to the party and she's like, where's Mr. McIntosh? And he's like, Mr. McIntosh isn't here. He isn't gonna be here. He's never gonna be here. He's dead.  He killed your dog, too.  

So he's like, murder suicide.  

So, and then, I, I'm so fuzzy. What happened after that, Kyle?

I don't 

know. They had a little chase. I  The criminals show up to the party, don't they? No, I'm sorry, the criminal and there's two of them. The party, the party leads.  , because he's like, Macintosh isn't coming. Y'all can leave. Get out. Blah blah blah. It has  an emotional breakdown. They leave. Meanwhile, the criminals barge into his parents home.

 They kick the door down because they found out his home address. They found out the kid, yeah. They talk to Butch. They forgot about that. Butch, Butch, you know, let him to the doorstep. Oh, that's 

right, because what do they do to Butch? Really quickly. Blalalalala. What did they do to Butch? They held 

him over the top of a building.

They Batman ed him. You like 

this, you kid? He's like, I swear to God. Swear 

to me.  

They dangle him off the top of that. I thought I was watching The Untouchables. I was like, this is turned into a mob movie. But I was like, at the same time, I was like, this is exactly what these criminals would do though. For sure.

Like, I was waiting because they were so Slippy slappy the whole time like  

gotta put some 

venom in those teeth I was like, oh these guys aren't real criminals like and then all of a sudden like they're threatening this child  Over the building, which I think if once they got the information they would just drop it Yeah, that's exactly what I was when you said it's Scorsese.

I was like, that's exactly what it would have done He would have just been he would have been splattered all over that. He would have been a pavement He would have he would have been like a very nice decoration on a bloomington payment and the people in like greenville are blooming like Oh 

god Kid brain, 

could you believe can you believe it?

Could you believe it? You know, I heard that he was a drug addict  Oh, thank god. He's gone. He didn't he didn't have god in his life. He did not have he didn't choose christ Anyways, 

they kick the door down and they're like, oh Oh, he's probably at that party at  Macintosh's down the street. 

Obviously. 

Duh, that's because the whole town's there.

Wow. 

Yeah, that's exactly what the trailer said. And the whole town's there. It did. Well, that was easy. And that voice too. He's like, well, he's not here. He has to be there. He couldn't be at the movie theater, or out of the bar, or out of the, you know, fixing his car, changing his oil. Well, this kid's clearly, clearly an adult with money. I guess if you just have money, you're an adult. He's at that party at McIntosh's place. He's over there. Maybe he's had too many cervezas.  

So they get over there. 

And he's home alone. Yeah, 

and 

they have a typical,  villain versus antagonist, like, fight through the courtyard, in the pool.

It's very Home Alone esque. Yeah, and then they 

corner him in the top office and  the criminals finally are like, where's the money, kid? And he's like, being nice, he's like, where's the money? Where, just tell me where the money is. And I'm telling you, a criminal would not, on this caliber,  You're getting kneecapped, kid.

Yeah, Fred, something's going to happen to your skin, probably, okay?  Or your 

head might be severed. So probably. 

And so he's like, where's the money, kid? And he's like, it's gone. I spent it all. Spent it all.  And then, and then they're slowly realizing that the kid may have helped them out by buying the house.

The house is paid off and it's in Macintosh's name. So the main 

Quigley dude Quigley He can take over this Macintosh persona. 

Yeah, he could be Macintosh and have a new life and new identity And but the only thing he thinks about from there is like I could be mayor And it's like,  that's what you want?

You want that 

profile?  

They could also run a background check for Macintosh and really find that out real fast. Like, no, you lay low. Also,  

before I forget, there was a moment in that little chase scene that made me laugh and it was so stupid. He called Biedermann Wienermann, and I thought that was so fucking funny.

Wienermann? Wienermann, or whatever your name is, and I was like, ah! That's almost like a nickname you were called in school. You know that that was I was absolutely called Wienermann. No, you weren't. Shut up. Okay. Wienermann.  

Oh, God.  They finally realize the kid doesn't have any money, and then Shea reveals herself as FBI agent.

They all come out of the 

woodworks. There's like six of them. They're like, put your hands up! Yeah, 

but they're all still looking for Macintosh, because the FBI doesn't know how to do their job correctly here. , they're like, where's McIntosh? And then , the convict thinking quickly with FBI agents around him goes, I'm McIntosh, get off my property. Well, they, they 

held off for a second. They waited, like it was a pregnant, like, ten second pause. Should I say it? Should I say it? Should I say it?

Should you say it? And then it was like, I'm McIntosh. And then,  he was arrested. They're 

like, now you're going to jail, Mr. McIntosh, for all the money laundering. Bezelment and fraud. Or should I say Quigley? Right.  Like, it was like, why would you, why would you put yourself in that seat? It's like, that was dumb.

Like, all the money's gone. Like, you could be like, oh, I don't know. I don't know, I'm just here for the party. 

And then they get arrested, they're thrown in the paddy wagon, all three of them, Juice, Quigley, and Wienermann. And Wienermann. And Wienermann. And then,  they're doing their surveillance or whatever, and Shea and Preston are, uh, Having a little, you know, little moment together.

Let's talk about this moment. Yeah, 

like let's wrap this up with a nice nice bow here Kyle  I see it in your eyes this moment between preston and shay. How did you feel about it?   I can't, when it started happening, I stopped looking at the screen and just listened and then cued in and that was actually worse than not watching it because I heard the sounds and I heard the  Awkward tense pauses and like it just didn't work out when she kissed him on the mouth 

at the end When you know, they were reminiscing over their time together.

I just don't understand in what world and a forehead kiss 

a cheat kiss I 

thought she was gonna go in for a cheek kiss. Or a hug. Or a hug. But 

on the lips, just planted that. Kiss. Hot and wet. 

So yeah, for the folks back home that haven't seen this, a 38 year old woman kisses an 11 year old on the mouth after confessing to hurt him.

All the great times she's had with him. 

And then she says, call me in ten years. No, and then, and then he goes 

five. He negotiates it down to five years. Seven. I think it was like seven. You're still under 18. You're still under 18.  What are you talking about? Even if you were 18, time works for her too. So she's gonna be 45. 

I was like. Good decisions there, buddy. I was like, no, don't call her. No, no. And she's like, seriously. Yeah, call in six years. Fine. Deal. And then kisses him. And it's just so I'm like,  She's an FBI agent. The FBI should also investigate her through this whole process. Yeah, that's  I wanted a deleted scene where she steps out of the limo that they were like in and she gets arrested.

Oh, I want I was that would I would that would make the whole movie for me I would that'd be one of my favorite movies of all time be funniest movie of all time 

and she gets the sexual  And it's just 

it ends with a mug shot of her going to prison  then he meets up with uh, his dad.

Well Howard, right? Oh, no, 

Henry Henry Henry was like Henry. Where'd you go? He's like Oh, I just went to get ice cream, dude. He brings out that fuckin garbage. Don't worry, I was, I was 

watching the whole time.  And then, Henry was like, Henry, who, who tips his cap that he knows Macintosh is not real and it's been the kid the whole time, which makes it even creepier.

He was like, I just enjoyed spending time with you, kid. Yeah, he was just like, tell Macintosh I'm really gonna miss him.  Really gonna miss him. And they're like, they're both like tearing up. He's like, really gonna miss 

working for him. Really gonna miss 

The kids like, Macintosh loved working with you two.  And it's like, Oh God. Like here comes the second kiss it too? But like, Why did we have to dance around it? You guys have been like, Yeah, it was great. You wanna hang out next week? Yeah, for sure. I'll pick 

you up at your, your front door next week, we'll take you to the park.

Also, simultaneously, it also reinforces that without money you don't have friends. Yeah, 

exactly. 

He's like, well, I'm uh, you're not paying me anymore? Peace out, bye bye. And he also doesn't have parents to protect him, apparently. Cause like, as a, like his dad just like keeps leaving. Like, he's like, you seem to be fine, like, that Henry fellow seems very harmless, and so does that Shade guy.

To be 

fair though, at the end, when there was caution tape put up around the house, his dad was, seemed frantic, he's like, Son,, I was so worried about you! 

 We all have to make sure that I am a good father. And then he spills his 

guts again. He's like, I'm sorry, son, that I haven't been there for you. I've been tough on you.

Let's hold hands and walk home in the moonlight. Yeah, very weird. Just like, I don't 

understand 

why 

this movie was made. And then we wrap it up 

and we. He's at home and it's his birthday and  his mom and his two brothers are up in his room with the birthday cake. And Preston's like,  What else could I want? 

My life is complete. 

How about a Ferrari? We, we, we glossed over this, but I, like, I mean, I think we hit all my notes, but I do remember that you brought up I didn't take notes 

on this, sorry. 

 Before they did the party, did anyone notice, like, his list? Um, I know we're kind of, we're backtracking here.

His hit list? Well, his list of, like, things for the party. Did you notice like, number one was like, kill his brothers? No, I didn't.  He said put a hit, something like put a hit out on his brothers or something. Yeah, so 

it's like 

Respect. So, and then now he's celebrating at the end of the movie, his birthday.

He's like, oh, I love my brother. It's like, like, fun. Forty five minutes ago, you wanted to murder them. You wanted to kill, you wanted them killed. You, and if you hadn't You couldn't even have the strength to do it yourself. If you had the money still left over, you probably would have. That's probably why he was doing his budget.

He's like, if I pay 100, 000 for this party, do I have the 200, 000 to kill my brothers? How much 

would it have cost to kill his brothers? Might have been less than that. Two of them? 200, 000 easily. 

No, I think 20, 000. I think 20, 000. Yeah. Those Killing And I know this, obviously. Because you are contract killer.

Yeah. But it's in Indiana.  Okay, sorry, 2, 000.   So, I think it's time. 

Does blank check hold up? What do you think, Chase? I, let's, Kyle, you first. No, I insist, Andrew.  Chase, this is, this is your baby. This is 

your 

choice. So, does it hold up? It did not. I, wow. I, I'm glad I went most of my life without seeing it and never like adhered to the trailers I saw in previous Disney VHSs.

This movie, it was fun at first and like, again, I was in the headspace of. This is a Disney movie with wacky child antics. I can get behind that. And then it just took a turn, a weird turn that you could not go back from and you can't unsee. If it wasn't for that, yeah, it could have hold up. Like I could have been like, Oh, someone with nostalgia could have like that, but like, there's no way, there's no way you can watch this movie now and not feel uncomfortable.

Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, no. And I would say, I would say that it doesn't, it does not hold up. Whatsoever and like essentially you're just aside from what chase just said I'm not going to belabor the point But aside from that you just see what it would be like for an adult thinking like a child What would I do with a million dollars and how would I play with it?

And you just want you get to watch a child actor play with With stuff on a set, but there's nothing more than that and nothing and not even doing things that a child would do It's no it's literally like what adult think children think like yeah, and it's it's just bad  

Stereotypes just personified in the most hyperbolic way It's bullshit 

. I think if I had watched this when I was like young, 6, 7, I probably would have like enjoyed it for a time, uh, but watching it as a 31, almost 32 year old, absolutely not.

The first like 20, 30 minutes, it was okay, you're like okay, we're setting something up for some fun, but it just splatters and falls very short. It gets weird. It gets really weird. So no, 

it doesn't. So IMDB ratings Kyle, what would you give this out of 10? What would I give it out of 10? Yeah Uh, I  would give it like a I Would give it like a 2.

just just because it's a cautionary tale Of what not to make, ever.  I was gonna say 2. 1, so we're kinda in the same realm. I, I think the beginning of it's fun enough to say. And then after that, it just spins off. I was gonna say like 2. 2. 

Do you feel a little bit higher? I know that's fair. That's it's a shit movie.

It's like 9 percent in Rotten Tomatoes It's is it 9 percent something like that. That's what I read IMDb  I'll keep 

that's a below a 1 I think on that. I want 

you all to guess what IMDb is 

6. 5 But I bet  4 or something like 5. 3, dude. Yeah, that's terrifying Well, the reason that is is because nostalgia is a dangerous game and that's why we do this podcast We don't forget nostalgia is a dangerous game.

A lot of people are probably out there being like, oh blank check I saw that when I was eight years old. That was a good movie. I really love that It reminds me watch it now. You won't feel the same way and we need to bring that imdb score back down to earth Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's pretty You Agreed egregious.

I don't think I can really agree with with that at all 

I 

don't understand what what qualifies that for anything above a 

lot of stupid people in the world 

True and we're gonna do they're probably listening to more movies and I and I have a feeling we're gonna put this one in our Back pocket and say this may be the most egregious over ranking probably that's that's pretty yeah for some other movies to do poorly and like near this score That are really good movies.

I think this movie just  put a sour taste in my mouth.

Yeah, not good.  And I think we'll leave you all with that sour taste now. So, you know the drill. We just reached into your childhood nostalgia. We pulled blank check out from your past. We're gonna throw that one away for you. We're not going to let you live and hold on to that one.

But don't forget, if you get a blank check, it is legal to keep it, and if you're found with a blank check on you, the police can't really do anything.  Well, there you go.  Facts for days. Well, we'll see you guys next time.